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It´s official. I am F**king stupid!!
#11
Run for the hills. Your son is more important than someone that is going crazy after only a few months. If your son told his mum she could rightly stop contact if your partner continues to smoke etc. If this is all happening after only a few months it will only get 10 x worse

And no you aren't stupid at all. u meet someone and think they are the one and then within a month end up turning out to be a nightmare. Your children are the most important at end of day
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#12
(05-19-2018, 07:01 PM)warwickshire1 Wrote: Run for the hills. Your son is more important than someone that is going crazy after only a few months. If your son told his mum she could rightly stop contact if your partner continues to smoke etc. If this is all happening after only a few months it will only get 10 x worse

And no you aren't stupid at all. u meet someone and think they are the one and then within a month end up turning out to be a nightmare. Your children are the most important at end of day

Well yes, I ran for the hills and won´t be coming down from there in a while.

Like I mentioned I agreed to speak to her yesterday. Didn´t happen. On Thursday she sent me a message saying she missed me and wanted to hug me, kiss me, be with me. So I replied I needed time to think and we would talk on Sunday. Then came the reply you obviously never loved me if you can´t even talk to me, I thought I had met a man but you are no man, leave it I don´t walk to talk anymore, goodbye. So I blocked her on Whatsapp and on the phone. Later in the day I received an SMS message for an advert for something I have for sale on the internet and when I went to check it I saw a section that said Blocked SMS messages. So I opened it and the crazy bitch had sent me a message that "If you intended to go back to your ex why did you play with me? Do you think that is right?". I panciked, but later realised it was one last attempt to at least get me to reply and draw me back in.

She was as crazy as a box of frogs. Shame really because I honestly thought I had found a person I could spend the rest of my life with. But the only person I can think of at the moment with whom I want to spend the rest of my life is my son. Live and learn.
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#13
(05-21-2018, 06:20 AM)Markin Wrote:
(05-19-2018, 07:01 PM)warwickshire1 Wrote: Run for the hills. Your son is more important than someone that is going crazy after only a few months. If your son told his mum she could rightly stop contact if your partner continues to smoke etc. If this is all happening after only a few months it will only get 10 x worse

And no you aren't stupid at all. u meet someone and think they are the one and then within a month end up turning out to be a nightmare. Your children are the most important at end of day

Well yes, I ran for the hills and won´t be coming down from there in a while.

Like I mentioned I agreed to speak to her yesterday. Didn´t happen. On Thursday she sent me a message saying she missed me and wanted to hug me, kiss me, be with me. So I replied I needed time to think and we would talk on Sunday. Then came the reply you obviously never loved me if you can´t even talk to me, I thought I had met a man but you are no man, leave it I don´t walk to talk anymore, goodbye. So I blocked her on Whatsapp and on the phone. Later in the day I received an SMS message for an advert for something I have for sale on the internet and when I went to check it I saw a section that said Blocked SMS messages. So I opened it and the crazy bitch had sent me a message that "If you intended to go back to your ex why did you play with me? Do you think that is right?". I panciked, but later realised it was one last attempt to at least get me to reply and draw me back in.

She was as crazy as a box of frogs. Shame really because I honestly thought I had found a person I could spend the rest of my life with. But the only person I can think of at the moment with whom I want to spend the rest of my life is my son. Live and learn.

Par for the course my friend, you sound like you've got your head screwed on though. Dont let her drag you back in.
After it calms down, I dont think casual dating is wrong. Just dont introduce them to your kid and keep it light.
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#14
(05-21-2018, 06:58 AM)Naive Wrote:
(05-21-2018, 06:20 AM)Markin Wrote:
(05-19-2018, 07:01 PM)warwickshire1 Wrote: Run for the hills. Your son is more important than someone that is going crazy after only a few months. If your son told his mum she could rightly stop contact if your partner continues to smoke etc. If this is all happening after only a few months it will only get 10 x worse

And no you aren't stupid at all. u meet someone and think they are the one and then within a month end up turning out to be a nightmare. Your children are the most important at end of day

Well yes, I ran for the hills and won´t be coming down from there in a while.

Like I mentioned I agreed to speak to her yesterday. Didn´t happen. On Thursday she sent me a message saying she missed me and wanted to hug me, kiss me, be with me. So I replied I needed time to think and we would talk on Sunday. Then came the reply you obviously never loved me if you can´t even talk to me, I thought I had met a man but you are no man, leave it I don´t walk to talk anymore, goodbye. So I blocked her on Whatsapp and on the phone. Later in the day I received an SMS message for an advert for something I have for sale on the internet and when I went to check it I saw a section that said Blocked SMS messages. So I opened it and the crazy bitch had sent me a message that "If you intended to go back to your ex why did you play with me? Do you think that is right?". I panciked, but later realised it was one last attempt to at least get me to reply and draw me back in.

She was as crazy as a box of frogs. Shame really because I honestly thought I had found a person I could spend the rest of my life with. But the only person I can think of at the moment with whom I want to spend the rest of my life is my son. Live and learn.

Par for the course my friend, you sound like you've got your head screwed on though. Dont let her drag you back in.
After it calms down, I dont think casual dating is wrong. Just dont introduce them to your kid and keep it light.


If I had met this girl maybe 10 years ago I would have dived in head first. Luckily I am now 42 and realise that I need to have self respect, and look out for me as nobody else will. And no chance am I getting dragged back in. 

As for casual dating, it has never been my thing. I would honestly feel uncomfortable going out on a casual date and then thinking that I may be seeing them on the street after that. I don´t know, I never did it as a youngster and can´t see me doing it now. That said, if somebody does pop into my life then yes, next time they won´t be getting anywhere near my kid until I am 100% confident that he will be safe in that.
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#15
Well done mate, bullet dodged!!! If it got back to his mum that your partner was taking drugs in front of him (which is what they would see 'smoking special cigarettes' as), the courts would almost certainly stop contact. Stupid in some ways, as it's arguably less harmful than drinking, but the law is what it is.

It's best to avoid making major commitments until the drugs wear off in any relationship (i.e. you get past that first honeymoon phases that normally lasts around 6 months). If the person shows any signs of being difficult during that phase, run like hell, as they will only get worse. The stakes are much higher now you have kids. It takes a very, very special person to be a step parent.
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#16
(05-21-2018, 10:08 AM)marwood Wrote: Well done mate, bullet dodged!!!  If it got back to his mum that your partner was taking drugs in front of him (which is what they would see 'smoking special cigarettes' as), the courts would almost certainly stop contact. Stupid in some ways, as it's arguably less harmful than drinking, but the law is what it is.

It's best to avoid making major commitments until the drugs wear off in any relationship (i.e. you get past that first honeymoon phases that normally lasts around 6 months).  If the person shows any signs of being difficult during that phase, run like hell, as they will only get worse.  The stakes are much higher now you have kids. It takes a very, very special person to be a step parent.


I had no problem with her smoking drugs. In my youth I smoked it also. Each to their own as I say, but my boy is 5 and I believe that infancy should be a time of innocence. He has the rest of his life to experience the darker side of life.

I pushed the relationship along quickly because what I didn´t want was to spend two years dating somebody, move in, and then find out it wouldn´t work. I wanted to see the truth ASAP. And I am glad I did as this nutjob is very good at making people believe she is a big hearted victim of life, but by pushing forward the commitment it forced out her real personality.

For now I am not going to go near women. In all honesty I don´t think there is space in my life for anybody else. This nutjob made my ex look like a bloody angel, so I am not even sure there is somebody out there that I am going to be willing to handle. So for now just my son and I.
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