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Help RE: Enforcement of Court Order - URGENT
#1
I know this is the opposite way round for most dads on here, however I am the resident parents of two children aged 11 and 14.  They came to live with me after their mum wanted to take them halfway across the country last year, and they refused to go.  I battled through the court system and after a few hearings it was decided the children would live with me.  Their mum has been a nightmare.  She only wanted to have them two nights per fortnight and half of holidays.  So far every two weeks we have hell.  She argues about EVERY detail and doesnt want them half of the holidays.  The children have now had enough and dont want to go and see her any more.  They have told her in texts themselves and via family members.  What she does to them is basically mental abuse and I understand why they dont want to go, however i would rather they did go and for her to treat them properly.  Anyway, this weekend they are due to go and are both refusing. The pickup is from the school and she has said if I try to be there and pick my son up, she will call the police and enforce the court order.  My son is obviously getting stressed.  I am going to put in a C100 to temporarily stop her from having them there and see what happens when things calm down.  How much trouble will I get into if my son refuses to go to school which he has threatened?  I dont want to stop them seeing her for good, but just have a break.  She is heavily pregnant with the partner she abandoned them for (who is on a suspended sentance for drunk driving), which also makes the kids angry.
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#2
Difficult. Could you involve social services? Tell them the kids are having issues at their Mother's and refusing to go and you have concerns as to why they are refusing. They should speak to the kids in school and visit the Mother and then write a report. That may help anything legal you decide to do.
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#3
(05-21-2018, 07:47 PM)Charlie7000 Wrote: Difficult.  Could you involve social services?  Tell them the kids are having issues at their Mother's and refusing to go and you have concerns as to why they are refusing.  They should speak to the kids in school and visit the Mother and then write a report.  That may help anything legal you decide to do.


So far my experience of social services has been dreadful.  Their mums new partner lives in a caravan on a big industrial farm and it is damp. He often gets very drunk and my kids get scared.  Social services weren't interested, they said to phone the police.  By the time they went round it was the next day and all calm again.  When they lived with their mum and saw me every week, my son used to come in the same pants from a week before and hadnt showered.  Social services put that down to people having different standards.   Thanks for the advice though.  If I continue with a new order at least CAFCASS will get to speak to the kids.

I've just been looking at some of the stories on the forum and there is a common theme to how badly dads are treated by the courts etc. To get to where I am now I have had the police on my doorstep, social services calling me, issued with a spurious police information notice for harassment, been to court countless times, built up a big solicitors bill, been slagged off to family and friends, prevented from seeing my kids for a month, had a car driven into me, ended up in therapy etc etc etc. HOWEVER - for all those who have started this journey, there is a light at the end of the tunnel. From my last three years I have a few bits of advice....

1- Represent yourself in court. Solicitors dont act in anyones best interest other than their own. It seems daunting but you can find a lot of help online and with local volunteers.
2- Record EVERYTHING that happens in notebooks. Save texts and emails. Turn up to court with files full of evidence. You WILL need to counter every accusation.
3- Insist on separate waiting areas in court, and phone the court before attending to check it has been sorted. You will probably get a little office to sit and gather your thoughts.
4- Take support with you as a MacKenzie Friend. Even if they dont speak it makes you more credible.
5- If you are being abused by text and e-mail, dont rise to it. Tell them to stop messaging you or you will contact the police for harassment. If they dont stop, call the non-emergency police and INSIST they deal with it. If they come to your home it helps to have a partner there if you have one. Police seem to respond better when it isnt just a man there. Whatever you do, DONT BE ABUSIVE BACK TO THE MOTHER. You must be whiter than white.
6- Show the court you are willing to negotiate. It is often hard when dealing with someone you hate to not dig your heals in. Even if your first standpoint is further away than what you want and you negotiate down to what you want. ie if you want 3 nights, ask for 4 and negotiate down to 3.
7- DON'T GIVE UP. REMEMBER WHY YOU ARE DOING THIS. THAT IS THE ONLY REASON MY CHILDREN LIVE WITH ME.
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