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Gf of soon to be separated dad, need advice
#1
Huh I’ve been with my partner for 5 years. When we met I knew he was married & he told me he was considering divorce, on which i gave him advice as friends. We fell in love and he chose to leave his wife. At the time I was having issues with an ex partner which put a strain on this new relationship but we persevered. I recently found out that hes been lying the whole time about being separated (and then divorced), and not only that he had a child with her a few years ago.

We have decided to give our relationship a proper go now the truth is out, and he’s going to leave his wife and file for divorce (i wont just be taking his word for it this time!). I’ve agreed to let him initiate this without telling his wife the truth as the deception is so huge she would be minded to go for full custody and stop him seeing his son. The child is innocent in all this, and i see no need for his wife to suffer what I’m currently suffering.

The advice I’m seeking is: now there’s a kid involved (he loves his son very much and I’m very happy for him to have an active role in bringing him up), what are my partners financial obligations to his wife when he files for divorce? He currently works freelance and has got himself into a lot of debt maintaining this lie. His wife stopped working following some mental health problems, so my partner is the sole earner. They do not own a home and have largely separate finances (this was always the case). 

Aside from child maintenance, would he have to pay spousal support also as she’s unable to work? He has some assets from financial investments he’s made whilst they were married but with his own finances, will she have a legal claim to it?

Any advice on this would be greatly appreciated.
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#2
(05-26-2018, 07:10 AM)Glosswitch Wrote: Huh I’ve been with my partner for 5 years. When we met I knew he was married & he told me he was considering divorce, on which i gave him advice as friends. We fell in love and he chose to leave his wife. At the time I was having issues with an ex partner which put a strain on this new relationship but we persevered. I recently found out that hes been lying the whole time about being separated (and then divorced), and not only that he had a child with her a few years ago.

We have decided to give our relationship a proper go now the truth is out, and he’s going to leave his wife and file for divorce (i wont just be taking his word for it this time!). I’ve agreed to let him initiate this without telling his wife the truth as the deception is so huge she would be minded to go for full custody and stop him seeing his son. The child is innocent in all this, and i see no need for his wife to suffer what I’m currently suffering.

The advice I’m seeking is: now there’s a kid involved (he loves his son very much and I’m very happy for him to have an active role in bringing him up), what are my partners financial obligations to his wife when he files for divorce? He currently works freelance and has got himself into a lot of debt maintaining this lie. His wife stopped working following some mental health problems, so my partner is the sole earner. They do not own a home and have largely separate finances (this was always the case). 

Aside from child maintenance, would he have to pay spousal support also as she’s unable to work? He has some assets from financial investments he’s made whilst they were married but with his own finances, will she have a legal claim to it?

Any advice on this would be greatly appreciated.

Why a relatinship ended has no legal bearing on the arrangements for the children, unless it was something that could put them at risk of harm.

While we know that his ex can not currently work, what will come into it, was her status at the time they got together. For any claim on Spousal Support, she would have to show she was disadvantaged due to decisions made as a Family, and a Judge would have to take a view on how long it should take, to get her back to where she was. However, the main thing is his ablity to pay, and unless he is earning 40k a year, I can not see an Order being made. In anycase, if she is on Means Tested Benefits, it would create a pound for pound reduction, as only Child Support and Child Benefit are not considered as income.

If he was to move out, then its up to her to pay all the household bills (except Rent), that are not in his name. He needs to end all contracts, but by law he need to tell her if he is ending Utilitys, as its illigal to cut them off if someone else still lives in the house. She would then have to have the bill changed into her name, or find her own provider.

From date of seperation, she can claim as a single person. Whoever gets Child Benefit claims for the children, and to change that he needs a Court Order or Mediation Agreement, showing he exceeds 50% of the nights.

He is liable for Rent if his name is on the contract, so the best way is to end it. How you go about this depends on if its Council, Housing Assication or Private, and if your in a fixed term, or rolling month to month contract.

Any assests from the relatinship was Family money in law, so she would have a claim on them.

If he is paying of debt from during the relatinship, its best if he gets CMS to do the Child Support, as he can ask for a reduction to be made due to it.
Posts made by me are my opinion and any factual information should be checked out. If you do not have a Solicitor, often your local CAB can get you some initial advice.
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#3
(05-26-2018, 07:10 AM)Glosswitch Wrote: I recently found out that hes been lying the whole time about being separated (and then divorced), and not only that he had a child with her a few years ago.

Speaking as someone who has been in a similarly 'complicated' situation, my advice is to get the hell out of there. If he has maintained that level of deceit with both you and his wife, he'll do it again. The fact he has lied in a big way to you in the past is a red flag. He's likely to do it again, sorry.
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#4
(05-26-2018, 07:10 AM)Glosswitch Wrote: Huh I’ve been with my partner for 5 years. When we met I knew he was married & he told me he was considering divorce, on which i gave him advice as friends. We fell in love and he chose to leave his wife. At the time I was having issues with an ex partner which put a strain on this new relationship but we persevered. I recently found out that hes been lying the whole time about being separated (and then divorced), and not only that he had a child with her a few years ago.

We have decided to give our relationship a proper go now the truth is out, and he’s going to leave his wife and file for divorce (i wont just be taking his word for it this time!). I’ve agreed to let him initiate this without telling his wife the truth as the deception is so huge she would be minded to go for full custody and stop him seeing his son. The child is innocent in all this, and i see no need for his wife to suffer what I’m currently suffering.

The advice I’m seeking is: now there’s a kid involved (he loves his son very much and I’m very happy for him to have an active role in bringing him up), what are my partners financial obligations to his wife when he files for divorce? He currently works freelance and has got himself into a lot of debt maintaining this lie. His wife stopped working following some mental health problems, so my partner is the sole earner. They do not own a home and have largely separate finances (this was always the case). 

Aside from child maintenance, would he have to pay spousal support also as she’s unable to work? He has some assets from financial investments he’s made whilst they were married but with his own finances, will she have a legal claim to it?

Any advice on this would be greatly appreciated.

do away with him.
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#5
Thanks for the advice everyone
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