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Final Hearing, well almost
#1
So today i went to court for the final hearing, which has now not turned out to be a final hearing and will drag on until the 1st August for the final hearing again. Quite honestly you could have paid to be at a stand up comedy show and not laughed so much. 

Basically Cafcass recommended that things were kept a close eye on because they know mother is difficult and doesnt want contact at all. The recommended that the case be looked at again in 3 months to see how it is going, which is why i now have another final hearing. 

I went into to court today a little anxious of what i was going to do, asking questions to mother etc. Cafcass were not present and the court have deemed there is no need for them to be as the section 7 report has been made pretty clearly that there are no safeguarding issues what so ever and it is in our daughters best interests that father have contact. I litrally said about 10 words, mother did the rest and dug herself a huge hole to jump in.

So before court my McKenzie friend went off to negotiate knowing we were going to get nowhere, came back with no contact and i would not be having our daughter alone. We go into court to see the legal adviser who informs us that before court continues then he needs to make us aware that they are giving us a chance to come to an amicable agreement between ourselves in the best interests of our daughter. And reminded mother that a contact centre is not designed to be permanent. (We have been going 5 months now) He gave us half an hour and would then call us back. We drew up our suggestions of contact: 

4 hrs every Saturday unsupervised for 1 month then
10-6 every Saturday for 1 month then
10am sat until Sunday 6pm for 1 month

moving on to every other weekend Friday evening until Monday morning with evening contact every Wednesday. And also 2 nights every other week alternate to the weekend contact. 

Mother comes back with :
Contact in the contact centre until our daughter is 3
No over night contact until our daughter is 6 so she can say what she wants. 
Father is not allowed to take her in his car
Father has to tell mother where he takes daughter
Father has to tell mother everything he does with our daughter
Father has to tell mother who sees our daughter
And the im not allowed to take her to be around a certain person (who she has also now made allegations against)

This stage was a pretty quick process and my McKenzie went off to the court adviser to show him what we were dealing with. He stopped and said go back and tell her that the things that we have put forward are entirely reasonable and she is ridiculous. So back in we go. 

Mother submitted a 50 page statement on the day that we hadnt seen and the court adviser said we havent read it and tbh it makes no difference anyway to be honest. It was just full of rubbish as you can expect, even called Cafcass a joke in it. Mother claimed she hadnt received my statement or the bundle that was sent,this is her regular defence. Claimed her email wasnt working and she didnt have my phone number to facilitate contact arrangements (despite me having text messages from her on my phone), she then handed over her number which is the one i had.  

She was just digging herself a bigger hole by the minute and continued to do so even when she must have realised what she was doing. The magistrates and adviser basically ripped shreds off of her and made her sit and listen. She kept going on about how dangerous i was and that i could not be trusted to be alone with our daughter and it was only a matter of time before i hurt her. They had to keep stopping her and saying look all this has been looked at by Cafcass and there are no safeguarding concerns what so ever, but she kept beating that drum. Eventually she said ok he can have contact outside the centre but i will hand her over and sit in the background watching him  Big Grin They again stopped her and reiterated thats not going to happen, there are no safeguarding issues, unsupervised contact will be happening. So then she says ok then but he needs to tell me everywhere he goes and everything he does with our daughter. They then explained that i have PR and i do not have to tell her anything once i have care of our daughter, it is completely upto me what i do and where i go. In the interests of co-parenting i said its fine i will be going to my house or the grandparents 5 minutes away. Will i heck be telling her everything i do etc. 

The courts then mentioned us going on a SPIP course, i said i have already done that as ordered by the court at the first hearing. Thats good so mother why didnt you do the course? "I didnt know about it". She has now been ordered to do the course. 

The enforcement hearing that was due to be heard also has been put aside until the final hearing and mother was made aware that it was there and that she could face action if she doesnt follow the order. Which is good in one way because she now still has that hanging over her and she seems to be taking some notice of it. 

She said what if i want to go on holiday, am i not entitled to a holiday, said she already had one booked but it was the end of August. The adviser said to her that she should not be making plans for holidays when there is contact to take place. 

They basically put her in her place and told her. So the order states :

Contact every saturday for 4 hours and handover at a local pub car park (which happens to be across the road from mothers flat), until the next hearing 1st August. 
The court expects this order to be complied with and if there is a medical reason why the child cannot be made available for contact, a medical note must be provided to father, which should also confirm its not in the child's best interests for contact to happen. 
The court expects any contact that is missed due to a valid medical reason to me made up. 
And the court expects if the child is travelling with father in his vehicle, he must make suitable arrangements for the child to be restrained in a child seat. (dont know why they put that in, what are they expecting me to do with her? Put her in the boot?)

On the way our she stated to the Mckenzie friend that she would not be following the order what ever happens but we will see, give her the rope to hang herself on. She also handed a note over with some orders on:

size 5 nappies from sainsburys, little ones sainsburys wipes
Water NO JUICE, our daughter does not eat chocolate, sweets, crisps, cake or takeaway and fatty foods. 
Fresh home cooked meals, fish, veg, sausage(skinless), pasta, cheese, loves curry but no rice. 
Fresh fruit and raisins as a snack, yogurts and puree fruit
Lunch is 1-1.30 and her main meal, no microwave meals and a pudding to follow
No snacks after lunch at all

So overall it was quite a good day, didnt get the contact i wanted as such but it is progressive and will no doubt be extended come the next hearing. I have no doubt im in for some more allegations, i havent fed our daughter, over fed her, ruined her clothes, not changed her, blah blah blah but it seems the court now have her number. There is plenty more comedy in her statements but this is already long enough. Let the fun begin  Smile
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#2
Wow. It does sound like progress. I bet they didn't know what to do with her and have given themselves time to think about it!
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#3
I just read in another thread you said your daughter is 18 months. I can assure you had your daughter been over 2 years old if i am reading right you would be getting a lot more contact than u are getting now. It would be a blessing in disguise if your ex is hostile for next few months and continues to be stupid cause as soon as your daughter is over 2 u will get everything u want thanks to her silly ways
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#4
(05-31-2018, 07:14 PM)Charlie7000 Wrote: Wow.  It does sound like progress.  I bet they didn't know what to do with her and have given themselves time to think about it!

The legal adviser was pretty good tbh and i was lucky that my cafcass officer was pretty much on my side because they basically followed the section 7 report. When she started telling them Cafcass was a joke and that he cant have done his job properly i nearly laughed with joy. They told her if she felt that she needs to make a complaint to them, i hope she does. She rubbed them up the wrong way when she met them so that will go down well. 

They certainly put her in her place and even put in the order that they do not share mothers assertions that the father is not capable of meeting the childs needs or would behave in a manner that would compromise the safety or welfare, which is also supported by Cafcass.

Its slow but its moving slowly i knew id have to build up contact anyway so progress is being made and it now feels like they have called mother out on being the one not acting in our daughters best interests.

(05-31-2018, 07:18 PM)warwickshire1 Wrote: I just read in another thread you said your daughter is 18 months. I can assure you had your daughter been over 2 years old if i am reading right you would be getting a lot more contact than u are getting now. It would be a blessing in disguise if your ex is hostile for next few months and continues to be stupid cause as soon as your daughter is over 2 u will get everything u want thanks to her silly ways

Yeah she is only 18 months, im sure i would have got more if it had been a final hearing as well tbh, but they knew we would be back in a couple of months so it gives me time to cement contact more so. Although it also gives her opportunity to make more accusations when we go the final hearing again, she will be closing in on 2 years old then. 

I hadnt seen my daughter for a long time, she didnt really know me and mother keeps on with that im almost a stranger to her, obviously her plan from the start and is some of the reason she misses contact to disrupt the bonding. She has been the same since the start and all along has thought that she will go along with what the court say to make it look like she is trying, but she will then tell them how bad its all been and how hard for them all it has been and the court would turn around and say ok, no problem, we cant be having contact then.  

Her statement is basically all me, me, me, how hard she has it, how she struggles as a single mom, how she has to deal with our daughter when she has had contact and is upset by it, how she has a life as well. She kept on with im a single mom trying to do the best for my kids, i go without meals to provide for them. The rest of it was all about how bad i was and accusations, even claimed i tried to put a tracker on her car and put cameras in her flat. She said im only doing this so i can control her like i have always done. Asking them to do something about my accusations and threats to her as it is now effecting her life, and said "and lets not forget why we are here? Because of his actions and his actions alone". The list goes on, the statement ends with "I repeat he is having no contact alone with our daughter".

As i said though it seems like they now have her number marked and told her that all this had been dealt with and there are no safeguarding issues what so ever. The adviser even said this statement hasnt been read but makes no difference anyway.
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#5
Yes exactly she can carry on saying what she wants and they arent going to take any notice without any evidence. It would be easier for her if she co parented but she wont. i have had nearly 4 years of ex failing to co parent and more interested in making up the next jackanoory story. im also in for a final hearing soon as well. many stuff u have said i been accused of as well and guess what no i havent done any of it lol. well done on getting some access. 4 hours is very good weekly seeing as shes 18 months old. pretty certain courts will want to increase that as well. they could actually start overnight phased in to start as soon as your daughter is 2
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#6
Well Done. Great result.
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#7
So quick update, had the first encounter with the ex today in over a year. I went to pick our daughter up at the agreed place and took my daughter back home for 4 hours unsupervised. It was great, she had a great time and didnt seem at all phased by it. She was a little uneasy at times as there were a couple of family members there she hadnt seen but she was all good. Played, fed and changed her.

At the pick up point (i took my mother with me) the first thing the cheeky cow passed over was a note. I asked where the handover book was but apparently we dont need that now. Anyway i didnt read the note until i got home and it was a list of clothes and things that my daughter needs and could i make sure that i had them for next weeks contact! Now i dont actually mind buying stuff, this is what we agreed before court began but i just find it a little bit of a piss take after she has just made me pay hundreds to a contact centre for no reason and thousands going to court.

She had her dad waiting hiding in the corner which i have no problem with. This was actually the most civil she has been for about 2 years but its just a mask because her dad was there, she is always nicey, nicey when people are around, especially people she has been telling her lies to, but it suits me if thats how she wants it.

She also comes out with this "So if she gets upset or will not have her dinner then i want her straight back! Then we will have to build up contact an hour at a time in the week etc".

I just said ok and carried on, i have no intention of taking our daughter back or having her restrict contact. After all the crap she has pulled and stuff she had written in her statement only 2 days ago im just gobsmacked. If she carries on like this then how the hell is she going to rubbish it all at the next hearing. I somehow think she is upto something though and no matter what happens she will have her next scathing statement about how rubbish i am etc waiting for court to try and stop me having our daughter.

But for now im happy and enjoying having my daughter, everything she does and says now just goes over my head.
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#8
Mother comes back with :
Contact in the contact centre until our daughter is 3 ................................................................Court would never agree to this ridiculous as theres no safeguarding issues
No over night contact until our daughter is 6 so she can say what she wants. no safeguarding issues daughter is ok as soon as she is 2
Father is not allowed to take her in his car clean licence or no dangerous driving ....will be dismissed instantly
Father has to tell mother where he takes daughter u can do what u like in your time with her
Father has to tell mother everything he does with our daughter u don't have to disclose anything...u don't get told nothing or ask so why should u
Father has to tell mother who sees our daughter u are free to see whoever u like as long as daughter safe...mum wants to control
And the im not allowed to take her to be around a certain person (who she has also now made allegations against) keep daughter away until final hearing as it is easier all around until court
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#9
(06-02-2018, 08:11 PM)warwickshire1 Wrote: Mother comes back with :
Contact in the contact centre until our daughter is 3 ................................................................Court would never agree to this ridiculous as theres no safeguarding issues
No over night contact until our daughter is 6 so she can say what she wants.                            no safeguarding issues daughter is ok as soon as she is 2
Father is not allowed to take her in his car                                                                             clean licence or no dangerous driving ....will be dismissed instantly
Father has to tell mother where he takes daughter                                                                  u can do what u like in your time with her
Father has to tell mother everything he does with our daughter                                                u don't have to disclose anything...u don't get told nothing or ask so why should u
Father has to tell mother who sees our daughter                                                                     u are free to see whoever u like as long as daughter safe...mum wants to control
And the im not allowed to take her to be around a certain person (who she has also now made allegations against)  keep daughter away until final hearing as it is easier all around until court

To be honest mate, the court adviser has already told her these are ridiculous and they put her straight on most of these things. He also said my recommendations are more than satisfactory.
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#10
yaaaaaaaaaa ,, well done,, o my god charlieloves u,, you ex ,, says the same dose the same rights the same????? as my ex,, just saying,,,, am pleased for ya mate,, but? 4 hours ,,,, a week,,,, sorry cannot remember what you had in the center,,, still you dont have to pay out more,, apart from new??????? clothes,, and new ,,,,, this and new that,,,, and even more,,,,, pleased my girls over 2,, and ive been in center,, seems like forever, 9 months, . still there,,, it takes its toll,
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