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Ex being difficult, checking my rights
#1
Hi All

Brief background...

Separated from x 18 months ago 4 children together (14 and under), both in new relationships (she has baby). I have children every other weekend, take for tea once a fortnight and son to football training once a week.

I have asked for more access over holidays = no, she is not happy with it (apart form 3 extra days)
I have asked to take children to Portugal to see my father = no if new partner going
I am told she will 'impose rules' on my time with them, eg who cooks/helps with hair etc (eg not new partner)
Children all say they want to see more of me

I have been to a mediation session, all for giving it a try but doubt she will.

What I am asking for is:
- half of every School holiday (even if I am not on leave as it is healthy for children to see me go to work and would see me morning and evening)
- take kids to see dad once a year on my time with them, giving her a months notice, whoever comes with me
- That she recognises that when kids with me, as I too have parental responsibility, it is up to me whether I am at work, let my partner do girls hair if THEY ASK and basically lets me patent in the way I let her

I think that what I am asking for I more than reasonable, she though has hit the roof and started saying that Parantel Responsibility means nothing as they live with her.

Thought I'd share my story as I've used this website a lot and thought I should share too, comments/suggestions welcome.
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#2
Sounds like you are being very reasonable to me.

You have a right to 50/50 access during school holidays and she cannot dictate where you can take the kids (unless you are a danger to them or there is a danger you will kidnap them which is for the courts to decide and sounds unlikely to me)

Don't let her dictate the terms, the kids are not something she can trade like - if necessary ask the courts to enforce your rights as a father

My ex used to take the p*ss arranging stuff on my weekends with no discussion or notice - I was way too passive and didn't enforce my access as I should have done looking back.
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#3
(08-16-2016, 03:47 PM)Andy1 Wrote: Hi All

Brief background...

Separated from x 18 months ago 4 children together (14 and under), both in new relationships (she has baby). I have children every other weekend, take for tea once a fortnight and son to football training once a week.

I have asked for more access over holidays = no, she is not happy with it (apart form 3 extra days)
I have asked to take children to Portugal to see my father = no if new partner going
I am told she will 'impose rules' on my time with them, eg who cooks/helps with hair etc (eg not new partner)
Children all say they want to see more of me

I have been to a mediation session, all for giving it a try but doubt she will.

What I am asking for is:
- half of every School holiday (even if I am not on leave as it is healthy for children to see me go to work and would see me morning and evening)
- take kids to see dad once a year on my time with them, giving her a months notice, whoever comes with me
- That she recognises that when kids with me, as I too have parental responsibility, it is up to me whether I am at work, let my partner do girls hair if THEY ASK and basically lets me patent in the way I let her

I think that what I am asking for I more than reasonable, she though has hit the roof and started saying that Parantel Responsibility means nothing as they live with her.

Thought I'd share my story as I've used this website a lot and thought I should share too, comments/suggestions welcome.

Even in a typical contact Friday till Sunday situation, Courts award half school holidays if asked. This works out at 6.5 weeks a year, so if not manageable, I recommend 1 week at Christmas and Easter, and 2 weeks in the Summer Holidays, as other school holidays are only 1 week, and you will have the children 1 weekend of it.

If you can show a Family connection with another country, even as none Resident Parent, a court will give leave for you to take the child out of the UK, unless risk of none return is proved. In my own case, my ex objected, but the Judge allowed it as the children know that my Spanish family exist, and have staying with us before separation in the UK.

Courts are not interested in "Rules", they consider what your asking for, in terms of the children being in your care. What you do in that time is nothing to do with your ex. Unless she can prove Child Protection/Welfare concerns, they will not be interested.
Posts made by me are my opinion and any factual information should be checked out. If you do not have a Solicitor, often your local CAB can get you some initial advice.
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