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Ex moving further away
#21
That is helpful thanks. Yes I think warning her I'm going to apply is not a good idea and she may well do the same as yours did - apply for a specific issues and new child arrangements order. Am taking application in tomorrow - hope it's not too late.

I am also hanging on to the idea that I have evidence of it being malicious - plus he does live with both parents in an order already. Am getting proper advice tomorrow. Did you do a position statement DadDolent?
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#22
Yes my solicitor prepared one for me. We argued that we had 50/50 shared care since seperation and that that she has no support or familly where she is going.just a job offer with the same pay as her existing one here. No compelling reason for her to go there and if she wants to she could go on her own rather than disrupt contact with me and her school and friends here.

She argued even though there is shared care now for a year, she was the primary carer before seperation (utter lie) and that the child should be allowed to relocate.

The judge basically said I believe her story more and she felt the mother has a stronger emotional bond with the child. Not sure how she figured that out not having any report from CAFCASS or anybody talking to the child (6year old). Anyway, she let Ex remove child from school and relocate.
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#23
That is awful. Don't they think about childrens' feelings? The advice I've had so far is it's a very hard call for a court to tell someone they can't have the freedom to move where they like and get a job etc. And however strong your argument is it may come down to the old "children belong with Mothers" thing. And so it's a nasty trick Mothers will do to take your kids away. Big loophole in the law there by the sound of it.

I am concerned about this. I've only had a shared care order for 4 months! And it's not 50/50. But we were never married and I did more of the parenting when he was little (ie she left him with me for weeks at a time to visit her overseas boyfriend). He actually started calling me Mummy. She now denies that I was basically the only parent for 7 years and when she wanted a normal family life, wanted rid of me.

I would be very concerned if it goes that way in my case as son has always been totally dependant on me for support because he won't get any support and understanding from the ex if he misses things and people - more like told off for making her feel guilty.

Anyway need to keep focused before anxiety kicks in. Am very sorry about your story DD and hope mine doesn't end up the same. The thing that gets me is if they can do it once, they can keep doing it. Ex has always rented for that reason - so she can move quickly if she wants. Maybe I'm paying too much child support.

So what happens if I apply for this order and a hearing date is set and she says to a Judge - haven't planned anything yet - might not be moving anyway. Then it's all been a waste of time? And she could just do the same thing in a year's time? I could look an idiot applying for residence if she stays here.
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#24
Does anyone know what "irretrievable problems in dealing with the dispute" means? As a reason for why an application is urgent. Can't get my head round that - I'm taking it to mean - if it's not done urgently something irretrievable may happen (ie she may have already moved). But it might mean something else. Not sure I can put "unreasonable hardship to the prospective applicant" as a reason for urgency if it hasn't happened yet, but am definitely ticking "a risk of harm to child".
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#25
Mind you a lot depends on the judge. Mine was a dinasour. I hope yours will be more progressive judge.

Mine had no plans in place either apart from the job. Not even a school place for the child. Anyway in your position statement you could say should she wish to go ahead to move then you would like the child to live with you, attend her current school and have regular contact with her on alternate weekends and half holidays. Should she not go then you would like the existing child arrangement to continue.

Then it's up to the judge to work out how to proceed.

I think you need to tick that. I think it means that for example if she moves school and she is already settled there it will be difficult to reverse the move even if the judge wouldn't have allowed her to do it in the first place.
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#26
Thanks. Really appreciate the help and insights. Yes I know so much depends on the Judge. My first application had the most brilliant Judge. Asked for him again "for judicial continuity" and have had two wishy washy women since then instead. There are two courts I could go to - might ring first and see if he's sitting in either of them on Monday :-) Although presumably after the urgent hearing, a further hearing is then listed. Just wondering what happens if she says "I haven't planned anything yet". Would they do the prohibited steps as a kind of pre-emptive thing?

I can imagine how it must have been for you. This loophole needs sorting - I might write to my MP or something. I spent £15,000 and a year getting a shared care order and she could just up and move away? Bonkers.
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#27
Had a sleepless night getting my application together. In some ways I can actually see the logic in what she's doing. A bit of distance would help (but not too much!). We live within a few miles of each other. The big problems started when her younger son (with her husband) started school. I think she just decided she didn't want me there at school at the same time. So she stopped contact and made up some accusations. It got knocked on the head quickly when I applied for a specific issues order for a holiday, the allegations were dismissed and I got a Child Arrangements order, all at one hearing. (Except it was a worthless piece of unenforceable paper!). And from that point she hated me and refused to speak to me again. Because she didn't get what she wanted (to be the only parent taking both children to school) and because the Judge tore her off a strip.

So it's every time it's coming up to September and schools go back, she kicks off. This time it's - secondary school choices have just been "agreed". I kept thinking - roll on Sept 2019 when he's at secondary school and she won't be there any more. Her other son will still be at primary school. I think she's just realised that will be loss of control and hence trying to move him away. If she moves far enough away and he goes to school there, I won't be in her hair turning up at school any more.

So after banning me from school drop offs and pickups last year, I finally got them back in the court order a few months ago. She absolutely hates it. I think it just drives her mad that I exist basically. Because I stand in the way of what she wants. A normal Mum and Dad and two kids set up with her being the only parent going to school. She is a) menopausal and b) seems to have developed some maternal instincts since having her second child and it has driven her a bit bonkers.

I still can't quite understand why it took 9 years for her to suddenly get like this when she would happily leave son with me for weeks on end for years because she had a life. It's this wanting a normal family thing. You would think she'd just have accepted it by now.

Anyway - the school mornings/pickups are a nightmare - because she's there, I'm there and she hates me. She always gets there 10 minutes early. So I started going 5 minutes early to avoid the tension (for me and son) and had a barrage of emails about not being there 10 minutes early for playtime.

Which i have just re read and realised it's a set up. The barrage of emails makes a big issue about "educational issues" because i did't get there 10 minutes early for extra playtime. I didn't reply immediately and get another one saying as I'm not dealing with educational issues with her as I didn't reply so from now on she will decide them with her husband.

Seems like she was looking for an excuse to suddenly say she's moving him away to another school. I'm now thinking the best thing would be if she did move away and i got residency. I can actually understand her wanting to move away and have some distance - but not if she goes as far as taking son away too. But then she achieves that separation from the whole school business. I have been thinking it'll be tough sticking that out for another year before son goes to school. Really all that's necessary is her to just accept she is not the only parent of son. She seems to get the two kids mixed up in her head! Nightmare. She was much easier before she had another child.

Hope the courts don't just decide to give son to one parent because of all the hostility and issues. Unless it's me of course.
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#28
I understand the upset this is causing you and really feel for you. Relocation in such cases should not be allowed lightly but unfortunately this is the reality of our familly courts now. I guess telling the mother you can't move or you cant have that job hits a sensitive spot in our feminist dominated courts.

Hope for the best but prepare for the worst. Think about how could you maximise contact if it doesn't go your way.

Oh, I think you will be assigned a district judge or a more senior judge for this case. No magistrates definitely.

Good luck.
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#29
Thanks - you've been through it so feel for you too. All ready to go. Barrister actually helped out over the phone on a Sunday (although assume there will be a charge). Said the application wording was fine and no need for a position statement because it had all been said in the summary (wich is on 2 sheets of A4). Took ages printing everything out and putting it all together and highlighting bits on evidence etc. Barrister said it would probably be a waste of money for him to go tomorrow and save that for next hearing. So off in the morning to try and get the interim PSO. Have evidence of fabrication, threat and her attitude. But at the end of the day depends on the Judge you get at final decision time. Barrister helped with what to ask for. So C100 for Child Arrangements and Prohibited steps. In the box asks for prohibited steps so mother may not move away with child or take child out of school. Then says if her threat to move away is carried out I'll be pursuing for son to live here and spend time with his Mother. Half hoped that might make her back down, but i doubt it - she's been brewing for a fight and never stops talking, writing emails and ranting at the whole world incessantly. Twice in court people have got to the point of giving up because she won't agree to anything and keeps saying yes no yes no and pestering so much. It's a clever tactic - drive people to exhaustion and exasperation then leave them gobsmacked when she re-writes what they actually said and behaves as if none of it happened.

Actually one thing I'm worried about now is her just stopping contact and moving or stopping contact and not moving. How long does it take for an enforcement application?
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#30
Stressful day. Went to court with application. Didn't get ex parte hearing. Clerk said Judge had listed urgent hearing for next week. I stressed that a lot of plans could be put underway in a week and it was really important to get a hearing today. Clerk said sorry. Long wait - then she came back and said it had been brought forward to this Friday. But it's the whole shebang again. Cafcass, Dispute Resolution hearing. Only had my final hearing 4 months ago and only just got the order through. Gruelling day really - bad memories of last dispute resolution hearing. Trouble is ex is playing for sympathy thing as well - has to move for better work due to all the legal bills i caused her to run up (a joke I know) but she may come across as this poor Mother struggling to do the best for her family.

My application is for prohibited steps and child arrangements and in the box says if she carries out the threat to move (ie breaching the shared care order) I will be pursuing for son to live with me. So slight hopethat when she sees that at 2 days notice of a hearing it may stop her making any further plans. She may already have accepted a job though.

Hearing this week is to "say what everyone can and can't do till next hearing". Next hearing is during school holidays and she's on holiday that week so no doubt that hearing'll get postponed. Probably into the week i'm on holiday!

Worried about son who had just started to get happy and confident adn back into a good routine - he's almost certainly been told he'll be moving away - won't see him till Friday - which is the day of the court hearing and she may throw a complete wobbly and stop contact.
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