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Ex moving further away
#31
Friday isn't too bad. She can't move that quick and even if she does she will not be settled to affect the case I think. Mine had a job offer for two months before the first hearing. Then she was told to stay put until the final hearing two months later. Good luck for Friday.
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#32
I think it seems a very positive thing that you got a hearing so soon. I think they didnt hear it straight away as our " urgent " isnt the same as what a family court sees as " urgent ". I.e they arent expecting your ex partner to move immediately. Hopefully you get same judges as last time and things will be put into place to stop her from not putting children 1st
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#33
I'm actually annoyed now at not getting a hearing on the day as the warning will probably mean ex now puts in a specific issues order and a residency order. It seems to me the Judge gave the Mother the benefit of the doubt and wanted to hear her side of it. Despite her clearly writing "it's your own fault for making me run up all these legal bills" And her attitude. Assume he didn't look at the case notes from the hearing and see all the dismissed allegations! Oh and I have the standard court papers asking for a parenting plan! What! When I have a detailed shared care order that contains more than a parenting plan! And after 10 years of care. What on earth am I supposed to put in it. I have one from last year which is now completely irrelevant as most of what was in it no longer happens - the music lessons and tennis lessons have stopped due to alienation. I think I might use it with a note saying - this was my parenting plan x months ago but xy and z have now changed.

Having black moments about how this is a difficult court decision and Mothers invariably get what they want, but trying to keep positive. Came across these two recent decisions. One of which places the Fathers relationship with the children over the Mothers well researched plans - unfortunately it was in Scotland - not sure if caselaw from Scotland can be used in England. Her big argument is his little brother (her child with her husband).

Previous allegations against Father 2017
https://www.familylaw.co.uk/news_and_com...zIWZCBrzIU
2018 Scotland – Father’s relationship was priority
https://www.harpermacleod.co.uk/hm-insig...mportance/
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#34
The Judge hasn't given her the benefit of the doubt. They just have a different concept of URGENT as supposed to as dads. I think 2 week wait is good as normally its 5 or 6 weeks at least. Shes in the wrong and she is the one being spiteful and moving sabotaging your relationship with your son. You already have a lives with both parents order which most people haven't so you should definitely get listened too.

Your ex is just being silly again and not taking things serious, just thinks I will say got a job and just up sticks which isn't being child focused. If she wants to move away and earn more money maybe she can leave your son behind lol
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#35
Cheers. She has been plotting to find a way out of the court order. Last year she "found a loophole" saying she could take the child abroad for up to a month - so she did - cancelling contact for 3 weeks. That's what triggered my last application. That and the fact she wished to "vary" to no contact! She will be gloating at having found another loophole. Believe me she would just do it. Yes am asking for him to stay here if she moves but have also said I have no objection to a move within 15 miles.
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#36
You would think your ex would learn by now just like mine. Everytime you return to court you win , all she has achieved ever is to for a short period upset you by taking child away for a month. After 2 weeks abroad probably spent so much money wanted to come home and varying to no contact is ridiculous.

With hearing 2 weeks away she wont have very long to think of a decent excuse , I think she is going to come unstuck again and put in her place.

If I was judge I would be by all means move and better yourself if that's what you want, but I will be handing full residence to father to ensure stability and routine.
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#37
Hearing is this week! Still gives her time to cause trouble. Unfortunately Cafcass were quite taken in by her "Mother stance" and whoppers.
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#38
I updated in the court results thread but not a good day really. In response to my application, ex had a solicitor write a letter to the court which they said was what she wanted to say, so she didn't have to speak at the hearing. They claimed she was not being represented because she couldn't afford it and her husband would attend with her as a supporting friend (to back up her claim she had financial problems - all caused by me taking her to court!). It was a long emotional sob story about how distressed she was and how I kept taking her to court and she wanted mediation. Before that I had a second hearing lined up. But the Judge seemed to take her side. If I'd had the further hearings I could have filled in the gaps. Yes she rents but they also own a house. Both she and her husband already have well paid jobs (not to mention the child support money from me and the child tax credits). She is not a destitute single Mother! Which is how she portrayed it - even though she brought her husband with her.

What I did have were the emails - nasty abusive ones, making quite clear it was a vindictive motivation. I also had a Barrister. Judge was very hostile and bad tempered and seemed to have made his mind up from the start. My Barrister wasn't allowed to say much at all. Judge was sympathetic to the Mother commenting on how I was lucky to have a house and a job and maybe I didn't understand how other people didn't have that security of home and job. (If I could have spoken at that moment I'd have said about the other house they own and her husband's very good job and her business!). So I'm a mean selfish b......ard apparently - because I want my son to carry on enjoying his home with me and stay at his current school.

In hindsight some was bad luck. The Judge on the day was the one that issued my previous useless "reasonable contact" order in favour of the Mother, and that order was criticized by Cafcass and the Barrister - and maybe the Judge read the hearing notes.

Upshot is - no prohibitive steps order. He has withdrawn my application in an order (so no next hearing or opportunity to present evidence). My Barrister showed him some emails and he dismissed them saying he'd seen worse (missing the point it was a threat). Ex had already refused an undertaking so Judge got her to agree to one to go to mediation before making any move. So all I have is something that prevents a moonlight flit. But technically she could go to mediation once, have fulfilled the undertaking and then just move saying I wouldn't agree. As it's unlikely to be agreed at mediation I will then have to apply to the court again - or she will.

A bit despondent. Felt sorry for Barrister who wasn't even allowed to do his job. Ex has officially been allowed to keep tormenting me, sending me nasty emails and my son's home and schooling did not seem to enter into the matter at all.

So I know Judges vary but there is something very wrong when a decision affecting a child's life and relationship with a parent is based on a Mother's letter without any evidence at all that what she says is true.

Just to add - ex made it very clear it was about distance and not money as she kept saying - so does that mean I can move x miles away then? My argument had been I had no objection to her moving within x miles - she wouldn't agree to that - wanted no restriction on distance - which has absolutely nothing to do with her changing her job (and she already has a well paid one).
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#39
I don't get it, but I can't say I am surprised. Sounds like my judge at the final hearing. I don't know how these judges make their decisions.

My judge at the first hearing who I must say was quite reasonable refused mediation request from my ex barriter. When asked he said to the barrister "there is no point in mediation in such cases realy, is there?". So he granted the prohibitive steps order until the case was "heard" at the final hearing.

So sorry yet another father and the child having to deal with judges arbitrary decisions. Doesn't make sense at all.
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#40
Got my head round it all - the Mother was favoured. I wasn't given the chance to prove the move is a deliberate attempt to reduce his time with me and complete the alienation process. Only options now are - move as well and keep the current order - or wait till we've had the mediation she has to attempt before she can apply for a variation and push for 4-3 time split with me having every week-end. But no doubt the court woild favour the alienating Mother again. Sorry I'm feeling bitter right now.
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