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What would your next step be??
#1
Background to my story is have not seen my kids since September, tried arranging next time to see my kids but always seemed to have something on then ex stopped replying to my texts and calls. Tried calling her from a mates phone in December and she answered and as soon as I spoke to made out could not hear anything then hung up.

January I decided to turn up at her door and asked what was going on, kids were not there. Part of me wanted them to be there but at same time did not want to get them upset. She starts saying about how I can’t just turn up after not hearing from me for so long and that I have no right going to her door. It basically turned into her shouting abuse while I stayed calm which annoyed her even more. Her partner also tried launching at me and had to be held back while she was holding their baby. She then decided to phone the police and saying that I had tried forcing my way into house and threatening her. I left at that point stating to her if I did not get contact from her about me seeing my kids then I would have no option but to come back to house. Never heard anything from police so don’t know if she was ever actually on the phone or not.


I decided to send her a recorded letter in February stating I was looking to get things sorted. It was a very polite letter nothing nasty in it, no reply to it.

I then got a friend to phone her house and ask to speak to her, not stating who it was. When she came to phone I spoke so it was too late to act as if she could not hear anything this time. I spoke to her for about half an hour about how I was wanting to get things sorted. She went on about how she was worried kids would be let down and was worried about them being messed about and did not know what we should do. I felt that we were getting somewhere and said that I would call her in a couple of days to discuss it again. She also denied ever receiving the signed for letter.

Have tried calling her and texting her nearly every day since and no answer. I know she is still using phone because I did use pay phone to phone her and she answered but did not want to talk as I want to record any contact now. Tried to call her back straight away from mobile and no answer.

Have also being to mediation before and she refused to attend.

Don’t know what to do next. Options I believe I have are

1. Go straight to court. Tried so hard to avoid court as not fair on kids. Will cost so much money and time and even if I win case, she has stated before when we have had an argument if we go to court she would still not let me see the kids. What can I do if that’s the case? Keep going back to court and we all know nothing really happens to the mums to force them to let us see kids.

2. Get lawyer to send a letter stating she has 7 days to respond or would go to court. Feel this may be waste of money and time, think she would rather go to court.

3. Turn up at door. Would really upset kids, mainly eldest who had slight learning difficulties but at least if it goes to court and they get questioned they will know that I came to try and see them. What if I go to the door, they may beg to see me but then they may turn round and say they want nothing to do with me and I can’t blame them.

Really don’t know what to do. Before I would have been happy just with an agreement between two of us now but feel she would never make it legal and if it’s not legal then she has some sort of hold over me.
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#2
Number 1 . You carry on going to door you will get done for harrasement which will get her free legal aid. you can represent yourself with help off people from this forum.

Contact a mediator 2moro who can get in touch with your ex, if she doesnt attend get them to sign c100 and take her to court. whilst she is stalling and making up excuses you now havent seen your children for 9 months. Depending on their ages you may have to do supervised if she is awkward due to the fact time you get to court if would of been at least a year of not seeing them. dont delay get the ball rolling 2moro
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#3
I’m up in Scotland, we don’t have such thing as a C100. What we have to do is submit a writ to the court.

I know it’s a document that can be done by general public but it must be exactly correct and to have a solicitor create one it’s about £900 plus court fees.
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#4
I'm not up on Scottish law unfortunately but in agreement with Warwickshire. Do NOT go to her door! She had a point about you just turning up but mainly you should have a witness if you ever speak to her or see her. When an ex doesn't want you involved, accusing violence is the easiest option for them (and helps them get legal aid too - not sure how that works in Scotland). Next thing a minor row on the doorstep is turned into domestic violence, controlling behaviour etc etc. And whether the police were called or not the courts would need to investigate any claims she makes.

There's a lot of info on how a Dad can apply to the Scottish courts on the link below - it's from 2014 so assume it's still the same as quite recent.
As to your question what to do next. If your mediation was too long ago to count (assuming a mediation sign off is necessary to apply to court, I don't know) then have another one. If she won't attend this time your only option is to apply to the court for an order. Maybe look into groups that help people do it themselves. Or it might be worth getting the initial application done by a solicitor and then acting for yourself.

Thing is - she is not going to agree to it. She has a new life, a partner, a baby and wants you to just disappear. She doesn't have to do anything and will just ignore you or keep fobbing you off. The longer that happens the more they will see their new life as the norm. The only way you'll get to spend time with your kids is to force the issue and get a court order.

It will look better for you if you've tried every option first, which you have. Off the top of my head if i was writing an application I would "respectfully ask the court" to make an order for contact (I think it's still called contact in Scotland - not sure) for - whatever schedule you list. And explain briefly what you have tried. That you have tried discussing the matter with the Mother on a number of occasions but this doesn't come to fruition. You have tried writing a letter to try and forward the discussions, which you sent registered, but had no reply. You have tried mediation but the Mother wouldn't attend. You feel the only option left to you is the make the court to make an order so the children can continue to have relationships with both parents, which you feel is important to their psychological wellbeing now and in the future. That all you wish for is the children to have the right to know both parents, be loved by both parents and enjoy time with both parents. Also give a brief background into when you separated, what was agreed regarding the children, when contact was first refused etc.

If you are blindingly reasonable and can show this it is in your favour. Although I appreciate there are formalities that you need expert advice on. The link also shows how to represent yourself in the Scottish Family court.

http://static1.1.sqspcdn.com/static/f/86...qntvzf4%3D
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