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Battling child contact whilst divorcing
#1
Hi all

At the moment I am mid divorce and simply can't afford solicitor fees for that and fighting for child access (even doing it on my own)  

Does it negativity impact your divorce if they deem you aren't seeing your child which is through no fault of my own?  After the divorce is final I'd then be in a better position to fight access.  

My ex emailed my solicitor recently, regarding my daughter stating she wanted to keep it out of court and was open to arranging access as she thought I was about to kick off the courts. Basically a crafty ploy to up my legal fees. I subsequently informed my ex directly by email that my solicitor is not representing me on my daughter and she needs to channel all contact on my daughter via myself. Since then I have heard nothing. I sent that email seven days and have sent a polite follow up today. 

Basically I'm trying to stack up evidence for later down the line to state I tried contacting my wife multiple times based on her own willingness and she never responded. 

Any advice, thoughts? Half the problem with the court route is as my daughter is not even 1 then the best I can hope for is a contact centre which is a lot of money to spend just to get when it's only going to be a temporary solution anyway. Obviously the other half is prioritising costings, the immediate priority is getting the divorce done.
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#2
Updated post to remove Child's name
The opinions here are not that of Separated Dads, but merely a loving father who has been through the process and has come out the other side.
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#3
(06-26-2018, 12:36 PM)invisibleintellectual Wrote: Updated post to remove Child's name

Thankyou
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#4
I would get in touch with mediation immediately , you don't need a solicitor as loads of people will help you on here. If your ex doesn't want to go through court even more reason not to.

I would ask for in mediation 2-4 hours every weekend ( unsupervised) sat or sundays

If you can get more access then fine , depends on your ex. When your daughter is 2 this would need to be reviewed as no doubt you would want overnight stays.

Only people that make money out of divorces are solicitors . I would personally just want it over and done with as quick as possible and not care what people think.

Don't delay mediation as your daughter is not seeing her daddy at moment and its important she does. Don't let divorce proceedings delay you as that's a separate issue

If she absolutely point blank refuses any contact get mediation to sign C100 and start court proceedings. Remember your daughter needs to see dad as soon as possible.

I didn't see children for a whole year once due to loads of complications. that time lost can never be replaced. hope all goes well
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#5
Just because the child is only 1 doesn't mean you can't have unsupervised time - it just means you wouldn't get overnights unless the Mother agreed. I would write another letter/email with a clear request for specific time, to the Mother. eg

"I am concerned at the effects on our daughter of not seeing me regularly and wish to make arrangements for her a priority. I propose she spends time with me every Saturday from 9am to 4pm until she is 2. Please let me know your thoughts"

See what she replies - don't discuss it over the phone. Your email and her response (presumably no and a load of excuses) will help with evidence of contact being witheld in a court application.

However I think this should be the priority. Not sure where you're at with the divorce but these things tend to take way longer than planned. Plus she can hold you to ransom financially by witholding contact. I would suggest putting the divorce proceedings on back burner, make her wait, and deal with seeing your daughter regularly as a priority. If she says no, go to mediation and invite her and try and get her to agree something in writing. If she won't agree or doesn't go, put a C100 in for child contact. you'd have an interim hearing in 4 to 6 weeks. It's important to keep the bond at that age.
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#6
Plus ... why contact center... what did you do to need that... nothing... then unsupervised 2-4 hours is where you start

If you have no court order on child contact ... why are you asking the ex's permission to see her... speak to one of her friends or mother... and explain she has stopped responding and you wish to see your daughter...
"Being a good father, for its own sake, does not require your ex to see it or agree"
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#7
Thanks, just to add I've already done the mediation route and was about to kick with court, the application is good to go.
The mediator decided it wasn't a suited for mediation after a ten minute conversation with me and my ex's actions (non-molestation threat, blah blah)

I only recently delayed it due to latest legal costs and her latest email stating she was willing to keep it out of court. Essentially I saw through it and am showing 'willingness' to keep it out of court through her her own words.

My feelings are if I can show I tried being reasonable one last time based off her own email and she continues to ignore then I'm hoping it shows further evidence of her unreasonableness

If I do it myself outside the initial court application fee are there any other costs I need to be made aware of.


In the initial phases of separation she essentially revealed all her cards.

Via her old solicitor threatened a non molestation if I returned to the house (no police evidence or anything like that) and then also through her old solicitor wrote bible letters alluding to my lack of parental skills. She also alluded to having witness statements drawn up by friends alluding to god knows what verbally refuses unsupervised access.

Both the mediator and my solicitor advised a contact centre to start off with.
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#8
Which is why you need to apply to court if she has been refusing unsupervised access. It sounds like she is wanting you to withdraw your application/not apply to court, and suggesting "willingness" to agree something. If you have the application all filled out and ready to go (and I would alter it if you've asked for contact in a contact centre - to unsupervised contact) - make sure it is all ready to go and send her an email along the lines of.

"Dear Ex name, I would also like to keep matters out of court and would like to arrange to spend some time with our daughter this week please - I suggest Saturday morning from 10am to noon and can collect her from your house".

If she replies she will only allow contact in a contact centre then I would submit your application to court asap. You can take it into the court (at least 3 copies) and pay the fee and have it logged that day.
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