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Mediation
#1
Judge has ordered myself and my ex to do mediation before we go back in 6 weeks.

What can I actually expect from it ? What sort of things happen etc ?

I’ve been told I will do one myself as will she and then the 2 of us is that also right ?
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#2
They want you to try and come to an agreement - or narrow the issues before the next hearing. I had this too and mine was shuttle mediation as ex won't speak to me. It only lasted one session as we were poles apart. You both have a MIAM (separately) and then a session togehter.
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#3
so if we don't agree when we do it together they will just say it's a waste of time basically as we are worlds apart as I suspect that will be the case
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#4
I think they want you to try it and try reaching an agreement rather than it get to a contested hearing and a Judge make a decision (which one or other of you may not like). Plus cross examination can be nasty and increase hostility. Mind you I ended up with a consent order by negotiation at the final hearing and still get hostility.

It depends how good the mediator is and how willing either of you are to compromise. I had a bottom line so was not compromising on certain things. She wouldn't compromise at all. So it was stalemate. The mediator I had was a solicitor mediator and didn't really attempt to try and get us to see each others points of view or persuade either of us. She just said - no agreement. Another mediator I saw was more of a counsellor type and got down to emotions and misunderstandings (at my MIAM) but I pointed out my ex had an agenda therefore she would say one thing and go away and do something else.

Personally I went through the motions with it knowing it wasn't going to get agreed as what she wanted was less contact. As she delayed going to the mediation so long there wasn't really time for it before the final hearing anyway. I actually wanted a final hearing and to have evidence heard. But pre hearing negotiations went on a long time and a consent order was reached (with compromises) and only a couple of points ordered by the Judge. That was only because we both had legal representation. If you're self repping then don't agree to a consent order at final hearing (or mediation) as you need someone to negotiate your side and to have legal advice.

If you do end up getting an agreement thrashed out for a consent order at final hearing, then insist it is drawn up and sealed on the day. My ex wouldn't agree to it after the hearing! And had great difficulty getting the order sealed - she wanted to change loads of things and I ended up compromising more just to get it sealed.

The advantage of mediation now is she has more of an incentive to agree something if she doesn't want to go ahead with an expensive final hearing. Just see how it goes.
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