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Shes gone to the csa help
#1
hey guys, this is my first post on here, tried to keep it short with a bit of background information


i have a son with my ex, hes 6 in august. we split when he was 18 months old, january 2014, she told me she wasnt happy anymore as the reason (4 years later she still isnt happy btw ) and with the financial difficulties (just short of £5k) she left me with i had no other option than to move back to my mums, 60 miles away (buxton where my sons based, and ormskirk where my mum is based) then we have had a routine in which ive paid £40 a week and had him saturday 10am until sunday 6pm until she failed to be home one sunday night in feb 2016, and when she did return it was 11pm and she was drunk, the police got involved and she stopped me seeing my son for 6 weeks, until she decided she couldnt afford the mediation to successfully arrange a legal plan that worked for us all, so in june 2016 now debt free, i moved back to buxton by myself to be able to see my son more regular. as we managed to work a solution out between us, i wa to be able to cut hours down at work and have my son 3 nights a week, and she agreed to me not paying her anything as long as i paid for his school trips, summer camps, school uniform etc, which i happily agreed on and did, and she got some work to make up the £40 when he was at school. 

at the start of 2018 i managed to shorten my hours in work again, down to 30, leaving me able to have my son alternate saturday nights, plus every sunday monday and tuesday overnight, 6 months have gone past without any problems at all, until now....

she has decided to book a 3 week trip to australia in december this year, and take my son with her, which is legal and i dont mind this happening as he's really excited to be going. but to be able to afford this trip it means she has to take on a 2nd job, shes demanded that i have my lad now every saturday night so she can pay for this holiday, but with commitments for alternate saturdays already arranged during this time i have suggested she look for work on either a sunday monday or tuesday night, when our son is with me anyway, before she asks me to commit to saturdays every week, she point blank refused, and she has decided instead to phone csa and ruin our entire setup instead of finding an evening job

after speaking to csa direct, i have to now pay her the suggested £30 a week, but i will need to work extra hours to pay this, taking me upto around 40 hours again, which will increase my payments to £45 a week with 2 overnight stays for my son. shes now trying to tell me the nights she wishes him to come to me, ill have to work saturdays until 7pm but will then be off until 6am wednesdays. is sunday and monday overnights enough in this situation, as shes saying i must have him saturdays (she likes a drink) switching him from house to house at 7pm earliest isnt exactly fair on him in my eyes, considering i have 3 days off every week to see him. sundays and mondays overnight would make my life and my sons life a lot easier (he lives in a cul de sac with all his school friends as neighbours, and loves playing out with them during the weekend)

so 12 oclock on sundays i would pick him up, until i drop him off at school on tuesday is my suggestion, shes going mad of course, but can she refuse this plan as the receiving parent?!?! i work as a bus driver, and not every night i make it home by the time i should do, due to heavy traffic, incidents roads closed etc so maybe would not get home until 8pm some saturdays, i would imagine with being the "paying parent" and with this being a legal matter now, i can only commit to the days in which i will be able to see him on set days and with set times? meaning sundays and mondays would be perfect. but she thinks im making it awkward!! i am losing a night a week with my son but shes getting all the money she's entitled to, so in order for me to be able to fund these payments they should work around the hours that i work/suggest, is this right?? or would i have to go further and get a legal contract or something?

any advice would be great Smile
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#2
(06-29-2018, 05:23 AM)daniel_birkett Wrote: hey guys, this is my first post on here, tried to keep it short with a bit of background information


i have a son with my ex, hes 6 in august. we split when he was 18 months old, january 2014, she told me she wasnt happy anymore as the reason (4 years later she still isnt happy btw ) and with the financial difficulties (just short of £5k) she left me with i had no other option than to move back to my mums, 60 miles away (buxton where my sons based, and ormskirk where my mum is based) then we have had a routine in which ive paid £40 a week and had him saturday 10am until sunday 6pm until she failed to be home one sunday night in feb 2016, and when she did return it was 11pm and she was drunk, the police got involved and she stopped me seeing my son for 6 weeks, until she decided she couldnt afford the mediation to successfully arrange a legal plan that worked for us all, so in june 2016 now debt free, i moved back to buxton by myself to be able to see my son more regular. as we managed to work a solution out between us, i wa to be able to cut hours down at work and have my son 3 nights a week, and she agreed to me not paying her anything as long as i paid for his school trips, summer camps, school uniform etc, which i happily agreed on and did, and she got some work to make up the £40 when he was at school. 

at the start of 2018 i managed to shorten my hours in work again, down to 30, leaving me able to have my son alternate saturday nights, plus every sunday monday and tuesday overnight, 6 months have gone past without any problems at all, until now....

she has decided to book a 3 week trip to australia in december this year, and take my son with her, which is legal and i dont mind this happening as he's really excited to be going. but to be able to afford this trip it means she has to take on a 2nd job, shes demanded that i have my lad now every saturday night so she can pay for this holiday, but with commitments for alternate saturdays already arranged during this time i have suggested she look for work on either a sunday monday or tuesday night, when our son is with me anyway, before she asks me to commit to saturdays every week, she point blank refused, and she has decided instead to phone csa and ruin our entire setup instead of finding an evening job

after speaking to csa direct, i have to now pay her the suggested £30 a week, but i will need to work extra hours to pay this, taking me upto around 40 hours again, which will increase my payments to £45 a week with 2 overnight stays for my son. shes now trying to tell me the nights she wishes him to come to me, ill have to work saturdays until 7pm but will then be off until 6am wednesdays. is sunday and monday overnights enough in this situation, as shes saying i must have him saturdays (she likes a drink) switching him from house to house at 7pm earliest isnt exactly fair on him in my eyes, considering i have 3 days off every week to see him. sundays and mondays overnight would make my life and my sons life a lot easier (he lives in a cul de sac with all his school friends as neighbours, and loves playing out with them during the weekend)

so 12 oclock on sundays i would pick him up, until i drop him off at school on tuesday is my suggestion, shes going mad of course, but can she refuse this plan as the receiving parent?!?! i work as a bus driver, and not every night i make it home by the time i should do, due to heavy traffic, incidents roads closed etc so maybe would not get home until 8pm some saturdays, i would imagine with being the "paying parent" and with this being a legal matter now, i can only commit to the days in which i will be able to see him on set days and with set times? meaning sundays and mondays would be perfect. but she thinks im making it awkward!! i am losing a night a week with my son but shes getting all the money she's entitled to, so in order for me to be able to fund these payments they should work around the hours that i work/suggest, is this right?? or would i have to go further and get a legal contract or something?

any advice would be great Smile

The money side of things are not considerd work working at the Contact. The Child has rights (Children Act 2002), to spend time with both parents.

It is the avaliablity of the non resident parent what sets out when this would be. However, how Courts look at things are
a, Quailty Time, school term weekends, and school holidays. They will be 50/50 if you asked
b, Care Time, is school term weekdays. You need to show that this is workable, if you want contact at that time.

A court can not require you to have contact at a time you have not asked for. Your ex if she need Child Care to work can get this in the form of the Working Tax Credit Childcare Element, if under the law she is entitled to it. This pays up to 75% of the cost of either an Ofstead Aproved Company, or Registered Childminder.
In Universal credit areas they pay a bit more.

Regarding the holiday, under the law every one with PR needs to give consent for a child to leave the UK, except where a Child Arrangements Order Exists, and it must say xxxx LIVES WITH xxxx. This gives that person the right to remove the child for up to 30 days holiday at a time, but not for it to be in contact time without agreement.

What i need to make you aware of, is you can get half school holidays if you ask, but due to your work, you will only get 4 weeks a year and Bank Holidays off.

My suggestion for contact is Saturday PM till Sunday PM or Monday AM, every 2 weeks, but to have an extra 3 days on Bank Holidays a year.
1 week at Easter and Christmas holidays.
2 weeks and another weekend in the Summer Holidays.

Child Support takes into account the number of nights you have the child (not daytime), so you need to either exceed 52 per year, or 104 to get the higher reduction.

If this holiday is going to result in the child not seeing you at christmas, then its turns each, so next year is your turn. Who the child lives with has no bearing on this.
This 3 week holiday is going to result in you not getting nights you should under the law, and she might get extra child support from it. Check if this will affect the bracket you would be in.
Posts made by me are my opinion and any factual information should be checked out. If you do not have a Solicitor, often your local CAB can get you some initial advice.
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