07-04-2018, 10:20 AM
Hi,
Thank you for taking the time to read this thread and also in advance for any help you can offer.
Please bare with me as I set the scene...
My son had originally been taken out of the country by my ex (never married) when he was 5 to live in Dubai with her and her boyfriend, now husband. It was a difficult decision at the time as my son and I were very close, I had regular contact with him prior to this and had made every effort to be in his life as much as I could for the four years after his mother and I had split up. However, with the initial promise of them only going for a year and the threat of upsetting his mother should she not get what she wanted and her withholding contact altogether as a result, I decided to let him go, a decision I instantly regretted and have done since. Four years on, they're still there but now without my consent, I've tried to see him as often as I can but with Dubai not being the cheapest of places to visit it's been difficult at times for my wife and I financially, not to mention emotionally as there had often been large gaps between visits whilst recuperating from the inevitable loss in every sense, but this last year he's been flying back and forth on his own now that he's old enough although he's not keen on it.
We've attempted to keep regular 'contact' through Skype each week, but the first couple of years were erratic due to time zones, his mother not being available etc. and recently the country banning it's use altogether...I'd just like to say from experience that if anyone thinks Skype is an acceptable form of alternative regular contact to physically being present with their child, they can't possibly be serious, try explaining to an 8 year old that their beloved grandfather passed away and they can't even attend the funeral over Skype and they'll understand (I apologise for my bitterness). The experience was made all the more difficult with their refusal to provide my wife and I with an address for him for the first three years, so we were unable to send gifts or even know where he was, their having enrolled him in a school with a new surname and him being encouraged to call her then boyfriend 'daddy' due to his mother having broken the law out there by having a child out of wedlock and it also being socially acceptable!
Since leaving my son has also experienced emotional problems, he's had to move schools a couple of times due to behavioural issues, being bullied and has been struggling with the work in general.
This week I've received an email telling me they are moving back to the UK in a couple of months, although this is great news they'll be living 4 1/2 hours away from us and unfortunately we can't move due to many reasons. As you can imagine I want to get some kind of contact order in place and also some kind of control over whether or not they are able to take him out of the country for extended periods of time again, I'm after any and all advice anyone can offer regarding how I can go about this please? They've also enrolled him in a school but I'd have liked to have at least been included in the process, would that be something a judge can stipulate?
Thanks again for your help.
Thank you for taking the time to read this thread and also in advance for any help you can offer.
Please bare with me as I set the scene...
My son had originally been taken out of the country by my ex (never married) when he was 5 to live in Dubai with her and her boyfriend, now husband. It was a difficult decision at the time as my son and I were very close, I had regular contact with him prior to this and had made every effort to be in his life as much as I could for the four years after his mother and I had split up. However, with the initial promise of them only going for a year and the threat of upsetting his mother should she not get what she wanted and her withholding contact altogether as a result, I decided to let him go, a decision I instantly regretted and have done since. Four years on, they're still there but now without my consent, I've tried to see him as often as I can but with Dubai not being the cheapest of places to visit it's been difficult at times for my wife and I financially, not to mention emotionally as there had often been large gaps between visits whilst recuperating from the inevitable loss in every sense, but this last year he's been flying back and forth on his own now that he's old enough although he's not keen on it.
We've attempted to keep regular 'contact' through Skype each week, but the first couple of years were erratic due to time zones, his mother not being available etc. and recently the country banning it's use altogether...I'd just like to say from experience that if anyone thinks Skype is an acceptable form of alternative regular contact to physically being present with their child, they can't possibly be serious, try explaining to an 8 year old that their beloved grandfather passed away and they can't even attend the funeral over Skype and they'll understand (I apologise for my bitterness). The experience was made all the more difficult with their refusal to provide my wife and I with an address for him for the first three years, so we were unable to send gifts or even know where he was, their having enrolled him in a school with a new surname and him being encouraged to call her then boyfriend 'daddy' due to his mother having broken the law out there by having a child out of wedlock and it also being socially acceptable!
Since leaving my son has also experienced emotional problems, he's had to move schools a couple of times due to behavioural issues, being bullied and has been struggling with the work in general.
This week I've received an email telling me they are moving back to the UK in a couple of months, although this is great news they'll be living 4 1/2 hours away from us and unfortunately we can't move due to many reasons. As you can imagine I want to get some kind of contact order in place and also some kind of control over whether or not they are able to take him out of the country for extended periods of time again, I'm after any and all advice anyone can offer regarding how I can go about this please? They've also enrolled him in a school but I'd have liked to have at least been included in the process, would that be something a judge can stipulate?
Thanks again for your help.