Thread Rating:
  • 0 Vote(s) - 0 Average
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
Ex wife is 5 months pregnant - how could this affect my relationship with my children
#1
Hey gang - long time no post - because everything had been ticking along nicely for a few months!

Quick background. Married 10 years. 2 kids 5&7. She had an affair with a close friend of mine, I left. Divorced now papers say adultery. Bitter custody battle and I have 5 days out of 14.

Today’s news. Got a letter from her addresses to my solicitor saying she was 5 months pregnant. The father is not the guy she left me for but his flat mate (ho ho). I knew the two of them had been spending a lot of time with each other and my kids say they really like him.

I’m in shock to be honest. She never wanted more kids, got chronic post natal depression each time and had massive physical issues after the birth of our second child.

I’m really worried about his this will change my relationship with my kids. Will I see them more? Less? Will they become closer to him as that will be a family unit? Is she fucking the kids up more because she won’t last with this guy (she really won’t). Will they move and take the kids further away from me?

I’m really a bit shook up about it - but I also know this happens all the time.

Any advice? Anything I should check or do? Use it as an opportunity to get more custody?

Cheers all - appreciate your ear.
Reply
#2
If she’s on benefits she may be hit by the two child policy but perhaps she will gets two lots of child maintenance ... possibly she may look to seek more to make up for the benefit loss which will be approx £2,700 which is max child tax credits for one child.

It could go either way. She may want bonding time with the baby so might let you have the kids more or if she remains with the father of the baby she may way them to be seen and known as one family unit.
Reply
#3
what access are u getting at moment ? do you get a lot ?
Reply
#4
(07-04-2018, 11:18 PM)warwickshire1 Wrote: what access are u getting at moment ? do you get a lot ?

5 nights out of 14 now although I’d like to get 6 moving forward. Has only been in place 5 months, so was hoping to increase after a year.

(07-04-2018, 10:45 PM)Hazy Wrote: If she’s on benefits she may be hit by the two child policy but perhaps she will gets two lots of child maintenance ... possibly she may look to seek more to make up for the benefit loss which will be approx £2,700 which is max child tax credits for one child.

It could go either way. She may want bonding time with the baby so might let you have the kids more or if she remains with the father of the baby she may way them to be seen and known as one family unit.

I assume from her letter that the intention is to stay with him for now, although as I say I don't reckon their chances to be good given past form. She must be getting benefits now, although I don't know how much as the £500 I give her CSM can't possibly pay for her entire rented household. Although I have nothing against this guy, obviously he's done nothing to me. I am very keen that he is not a part of my family at all, as in my children
Reply
#5
how long she been with this new fella (one who has got her up the duff?)

Speaking as a man who had a child with a woman who had two kids previously.

My step kids father saw no change in access to his kids, he would get them when ideal for both parties and go for there.
Reply
#6
(07-05-2018, 09:20 AM)Tom_W88 Wrote: how long she been with this new fella (one who has got her up the duff?)

Speaking as a man who had a child with a woman who had two kids previously.

My step kids father saw no change in access to his kids, he would get them when ideal for both parties and go for there.

Well we split because she wanted a polyamorous relationship and I didn't, I assume she has been banging both of them for a while but decided to have a child with this second guy - unlike the one she had an affair with, I don't have anything against the second and as I say the kids like him. I'm just trying to think of what I can do to prepare for any risk of them moving, changing schools etc and how to really support my long term strategy of having them for 6 nights or even 7 in the end.
Reply
#7
(07-05-2018, 09:36 AM)Tamagoto Wrote:
(07-05-2018, 09:20 AM)Tom_W88 Wrote: how long she been with this new fella (one who has got her up the duff?)

Speaking as a man who had a child with a woman who had two kids previously.  

My step kids father saw no change in access to his kids, he would get them when ideal for both parties and go for there.

Well we split because she wanted a polyamorous relationship and I didn't, I assume she has been banging both of them for a while but decided to have a child with this second guy - unlike the one she had an affair with, I don't have anything against the second and as I say the kids like him. I'm just trying to think of what I can do to prepare for any risk of them moving, changing schools etc and how to really support my long term strategy of having them for 6 nights or even 7 in the end.

Polyamorous relationship??

I always thought this as a joke? Didnt realise people actually wanted it.  

How the hell does that work around children?

How long have your kids been at their school for?  
Reply
#8
(07-05-2018, 09:50 AM)Tom_W88 Wrote: Polyamorous relationship??

I always thought this as a joke? Didnt realise people actually wanted it.  

How the hell does that work around children?

How long have your kids been at their school for?  

Fairly sure thats what she's doing now - no idea how it works for them but it's why we split!

Kids are about to go into year 1 and year 3
Reply
#9
(07-05-2018, 10:00 AM)Tamagoto Wrote:
(07-05-2018, 09:50 AM)Tom_W88 Wrote: Polyamorous relationship??

I always thought this as a joke? Didnt realise people actually wanted it.  

How the hell does that work around children?

How long have your kids been at their school for?  

Fairly sure thats what she's doing now - no idea how it works for them but it's why we split!

Kids are about to go into year 1 and year 3

the schools will try to stop her moving the kids if she tries.  I am almost certain of that mate.
Reply
#10
If you've got a court order in place for 5 out of 14 days, she will be breaking the order if you get anything less.

If you've concerns about her moving further away from you, take it to court and a judge may prevent her from moving 'X' amount of miles away - if you can make a good case for it being more difficult for contact between yourself and the kids
Reply




Users browsing this thread: 1 Guest(s)