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Wife Leaving with kids with no access
#11
Please tell me what I can do. It's been over a week since they left and my wife is not allowing access. I've been told maybe a day next week.
Mediation has only started for me and it's a 8 week waiting period for it to start for both together.
What can I do in this interim ? By law with no arrangements we have equal access but yet I feel powerless here.
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#12
I wouldnt start it together and wait 8 weeks. I would want some kind of contact straight away or get c100 signed and go to court. That would probably take less than 8 weeks
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#13
It says you have to attend mediation before c100

https://www.gov.uk/looking-after-childre...ourt-order

I assume that's mediation between the 2 parties.

I'm just going to have to play her at her own game. I feel have no choice. I've tired to keep things amicable but it's got me nowhere.
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#14
yes but it dont take 8 weeks. If she dont want to do it you can go to family court , if you dont agree then mediator will sign c100. Quicker you contact a mediator the better
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#15
Thanks warwickshire1 for your help here.
I have contacted a mediator and did my first session alone. Next session with my wife is 8 weeks, that's the waiting times. I was advised by mediator to come to a temporary arrangement until then.
Well this is what I get, no access.
I'm kind in limbo here I feel. But every passing day I feel I'm losing the kids further
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#16
Hi Luckyg,
I
Firstly I am sorry to hear about your situation which is unfortunately so familiar.
i am not lawyer but one more of us suffering our ex's horrific behaviour, I do not understand why they say they love their kids when they are doing this to them.
Secondly, have you tried a differnt mediator firm? they might have a shorter waiting time. The queation is, if your ex will accept to attend.

Trhidly, in reference to Warkick above which is a Senior Member. I think he is right there.
My experience was that I could not seat with her with the mediator and straight away issued the famous C100 which leads you directly to court, as this is a requirement to access the judge.

In additon, you could contact a lawyer and ask for an emergency hearing to step in and set some inintial arrangements which will grants you access by the court. Hence, she will have to obey. This happened to me. The emergency hearing was trigered by her as she was converned I could removed the child from the jurisdiction of England and Wales. (not that ever crossed my mind).

However, within the hearing granted, access was awarded to me. Small, only a couple of hours a couple of days a week and every other satudays but that was vital and managed to see my daughter after weeks without seeing her. it was very special moment and emotional.

A piece of advice: Be extremelly careful with any comments you might have with your children. She will use that against you, anything even insignificant, she will fire back at you.

Finally, also really consider to follow the court path. I will not be able to enphysised enought how dangerous and expensive this route is. If you are "minted", then by all means. If on the other hand you are just and avarage salary individual, this will cost you between 40 to 80K. My lawyer was an avarage lawyer and cost me 350gbp and our + VAT per hour. I belive me, you will need a lot of hours. A court hearing bill can be as much as 2,500K or more. Final hearing 5K. So take this into account.
The problem is that once the lawyers are involved, you will lose control of the situation and you are dragged into the system. Then Cafcass will get involved and there is when we die.
In conclussion, what I would do is look for another mediator firm that can offer a shorter waiting time. If not, you might need to bite your tongue or hold your horses and wait and see.
In my opinion, parents do not have rights. It is all bulls**t. Mothers will obtain the custody and you will end up having contact wednesdays evening and every other weekend. This is the standard. I fought for 50/50 but the majority of the courts, are still in the 20th century and "kids belong to their mothers". Outrageous!!
Mediation, will give you the chance to get a better deal and is cheaper. Go to court when you have no other alternative. that is my advise.
I have just literaly I have finished watching the classic film Kramer vs Kramer. I could not hold my tiers.
It surprise me how old the film is and how little we have progressed on this matter. In fact. we have not moved!!
Wish you all the vey best in this difficult and stressful times.
John
ps.- This is based on my experience and what I have been reading and learning in the last year an a half.
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#17
Thanks for your long response, I feel for you and I now realise the pain out there with separated fathers. Funny, on freeview last Saturday afternoon Kramer v Kramer was on. This was the day after kids were taken from me. A movie never hurt so much that day as I sat alone crying over and over.
The local mediator is a free service covering the extended area and for that reason there's a wait. I don't live near any cities for choice.
I think I will just stick it out and fight for 50 50 as for now there is no arrangements. Another day passed and another whatsapp argument with ex
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#18
You can do a mediation by phone sometimes. phone another one up out of area . don't sit around for 8 weeks.. it will make u feel worse
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#19
Ok after 2 weeks my ex has allowed me have 2 (maybe 3) of my 4 kids for 2 nights. Looking for some sound advice. Mediation will start in 2 months. Till then my ex will probably resist but may give me minimal access. We are at opposite ends as regards visitation so I'm sure we will end up in court.
My question is, will it reglect bad on me with a judge if I take kids from school etc to my home without her permission. I am told we have equal PR. Or should I do what I'm told until court ?
Can she take any legal action to stop me ?
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