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On the benefits of total separation from our ex partners
yeh definitely time to lay it down to her...

i'd try and keep it as brief as possible, making your point clear.....

you just have to explain that she has her own place now, which provides her with space and privacy....this house is your only place for space and privacy and it should be treated as such....

then wrap it up with something like, i'm obviously not saying you aren't welcome here, just that you would appreciate a heads up.

make it a bit of a shit sandwich...

a short shit sandwich
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Thanks LB, so like a shit roll? LOL. I've been writing out some sentences this morning at work but will edit the text after lunch and make it as short and sweet as I can.
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(10-18-2018, 10:06 AM)Fatcat1980 Wrote: so like a shit roll?

yeh maybe....or a shit Taco....

i've got enough for a shit buffet in my outbox
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I'm going to decline that dinner invitation, if it's all the same with you.
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(10-18-2018, 10:16 AM)Fatcat1980 Wrote: I'm going to decline that dinner invitation, if it's all the same with you.

Yeh I think thats what she said...
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(10-18-2018, 10:21 AM)Living Bate Wrote:
(10-18-2018, 10:16 AM)Fatcat1980 Wrote: I'm going to decline that dinner invitation, if it's all the same with you.

Yeh I think thats what she said...

LOL
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(10-18-2018, 08:21 AM)Fatcat1980 Wrote: ... I recognise that the house was her home and remains 50% her property ...

I am not sure if you are right to recognise this. I have an idea that regardless of it used to be her home once she has moved out it stops being her home any more. She shouldn't be doing this even if she owns 50%. She's gone and now it's your home until such time as the legal things are sorted out. I might be wrong. 

IMHO she is taking the piss. As simple as that.
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At some point, in the very near future, I'm probably going to have to leave my house & find somewhere to stay for a while so she can apply for tax credits for the purpose of being able to arrange a mortgage for when we sell up & look to buy our own places. Believe me, I don't want to but I don't think I've much choice in the matter if we're both to be able to move forward (I will be consulting my solicitor prior to doing this mind, I don't want any nasty surprises by doing so).

My point is though, I've no intention of handing over my door key when I do but I wouldn't just turn up unannounced & let myself in. If I have a valid reason to be there then I'll arrange it with her first & still knock on the door out of respect even though I'll have a key in my pocket.
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I've been drafting an email all day, trying to get the message right. I'm not sure why I still give a fark about what she thinks, but I guess I just want an easy life. It's better if we're getting on than in conflict and I know she's sore about this. And I don't need her being difficult while I need her cooperation wiht the kids, the house, the money etc. But she doesn't get it. She has her place, I have mine. I asked what she was doing about the internet at hers. She finally got a telephone handset yesterday after 4 weeks, checked the line and it's dead. She said she's going to leave it for now. Yes, leave it for now! No internet. She can tether her phone fortunately but the kids aren't happy going round there.

Taking the piss, perhaps, but I think she just doesn't think. I'll get that email sent once the kids are in bed.
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(10-18-2018, 05:24 PM)DanDad Wrote: At some point, in the very near future, I'm probably going to have to leave my house & find somewhere to stay for a while so she can apply for tax credits for the purpose of being able to arrange a mortgage for when we sell up & look to buy our own places. Believe me, I don't want to but I don't think I've much choice in the matter if we're both to be able to move forward (I will be consulting my solicitor prior to doing this mind, I don't want any nasty surprises by doing so).

My point is though, I've no intention of handing over my door key when I do but I wouldn't just turn up unannounced & let myself in. If I have a valid reason to be there then I'll arrange it with her first & still knock on the door out of respect even though I'll have a key in my pocket.

You're putting an awful lot of good faith in her doing all this. Personally I would stay in the house till a sale has been confirmed. 
What will you do, if once you go, she does nothing about getting a mortgage or selling? 
She'll then have a massive advantage in terms of the financial settlement and custody.

She can change the locks once you've been gone for a month anyway.

A good solicitor will tell you this.
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