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On the benefits of total separation from our ex partners
(10-19-2018, 08:05 AM)watsa64 Wrote: She can change the locks once you've been gone for a month anyway.

A good solicitor will tell you this.

Is that still the case if 90% of your belongings are still in the house?
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(10-19-2018, 08:30 AM)Living Bate Wrote:
(10-19-2018, 08:05 AM)watsa64 Wrote: She can change the locks once you've been gone for a month anyway.

A good solicitor will tell you this.

Is that still the case if 90% of your belongings are still in the house?

I think you can enter to retrieve your possessions but you can't just wander in as you see please.
These are typical opportunities for claims of threatening behaviour to be made ...
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(10-19-2018, 08:05 AM)watsa64 Wrote: You're putting an awful lot of good faith in her doing all this. Personally I would stay in the house till a sale has been confirmed. 
What will you do, if once you go, she does nothing about getting a mortgage or selling? 
She'll then have a massive advantage in terms of the financial settlement and custody.

She can change the locks once you've been gone for a month anyway.

A good solicitor will tell you this.

That's what's concerning me & why I'll speak to my solicitor before committing to anything.

I still can't find reference, anywhere, at all, other than here to this "28 day" thing. Can anyone provide a source with black & white reference to this as everything I read says the opposite & all the time I'm a legal owner of that house then I cannot be refused entry & nor can she change the locks (unless of course I give reason for harassment etc).

https://www.onlydads.org/information/can...ndering-in

https://www.divorce.co.uk/divorce-resour...-out-can-i

https://www.stowefamilylaw.co.uk/blog/20...moved-out/

https://www.compactlaw.co.uk/free-legal-...e-out.html

The list goes on.....
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Plump-Pussy

Your ex instigated this, you just need to tell her that for you to move on with your life, you need boundaries, you need a date from her to hand over keys and get her stuff out, she started it....
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(10-19-2018, 10:14 AM)Mr Sandman Wrote: Plump-Pussy

Big Grin
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(10-19-2018, 10:14 AM)Mr Sandman Wrote: Plump-Pussy

Your ex instigated this, you just need to tell her that for you to move on with your life, you need boundaries, you need a date from her to hand over keys and get her stuff out, she started it....

Big Grin Big Grin Big Grin    I took me ages to work out who you were talking about.  What a div!  Gotchya now.

Yes, I actually emailed her this morning and said I need boundaries and explained it as neatly as I could.  She actually texted me before I sent the email and said, "Would you prefer it if I stayed away completely" and i was very tempted to say yes, but we need to cooperate and I don't want to be so strict at such an early stage.  She'll only use it to turn people against me and will throw it back in my face when I need help from her.  

I've asked her to respect my space, to let me know if she's coming over at non-agreed times, not to let herself in, not to invite friends over, not even school friends for the kids. She can do this at her place.
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(10-19-2018, 10:41 AM)Fatcat1980 Wrote: let me know if she's coming over at non-agreed times, not to let herself in, not to invite friends over, not even school friends for the kids. She can do this at her place.

that all sounds pretty fair and reasonable....
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(10-19-2018, 09:28 AM)DanDad Wrote:
(10-19-2018, 08:05 AM)watsa64 Wrote: You're putting an awful lot of good faith in her doing all this. Personally I would stay in the house till a sale has been confirmed. 
What will you do, if once you go, she does nothing about getting a mortgage or selling? 
She'll then have a massive advantage in terms of the financial settlement and custody.

She can change the locks once you've been gone for a month anyway.

A good solicitor will tell you this.

That's what's concerning me & why I'll speak to my solicitor before committing to anything.

I still can't find reference, anywhere, at all, other than here to this "28 day" thing. Can anyone provide a source with black & white reference to this as everything I read says the opposite & all the time I'm a legal owner of that house then I cannot be refused entry & nor can she change the locks (unless of course I give reason for harassment etc).

https://www.onlydads.org/information/can...ndering-in

https://www.divorce.co.uk/divorce-resour...-out-can-i

https://www.stowefamilylaw.co.uk/blog/20...moved-out/

https://www.compactlaw.co.uk/free-legal-...e-out.html

The list goes on.....

Apologies, you're right it seems to be a forum myth 

This link from the main site explains it better than I can
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(10-19-2018, 10:41 AM)Fatcat1980 Wrote: Big Grin Big Grin Big Grin    I took me ages to work out who you were talking about.  What a div!  Gotchya now.

Glad I wasn't the only one. I thought he was referring to me as a "Plump Pussy" at first as that was immediately after my last post!

Took me a few mins & a "how do I respond to that??" LOL

(10-19-2018, 10:55 AM)watsa64 Wrote: Apologies, you're right it seems to be a forum myth 

This link from the main site explains it better than I can

Does seem to be a bit of a "grey area" in terms of what can/can't be done.

I will absolutely be raising that with my solicitor though before I make any decisions on how best we move forward so things can work for us both.
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My ex texted me this morning to ask if her and the kids could go back to the house (my home) to see the dog and so that she could use the tumble dryer (she rented a place without one or without space for one, in spite of the fact that she used to use our one all day long). I guess they'll go there for a couple of hours.  Bit of a pisser because I cleaned all the floors this morning!

I find it impossible to say no when the kids are involved and I know she'll struggle without the dryer.  I don't want to be an arsehole.  It's the kids' home.  But it makes me feel very uneasy.  Do I need to just get over this?  It's coming from me, not her.  It's early days - she's been gone a month.  I can be harder with her next year if she doesn't get a suitable home. Perhaps I'll just sell and be done with it.  And, of course, I don't need to turn her into an enemy while we still have the house to sort out.
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