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Just joined, where do I start. I'm ex army and was in hospital for depression & anxiety, then my wife decided to leave me after 25 years of marriage whilst I was in hospital. She has left the family home which we both own with our 7 year old. My wife wont speak to me and will only allow access to my son via a phone call.  There is no history of domestic abuse or violence, she has accused me of assault which never happened but after 2 months I am still waiting for the police to come and take my statement in fact I have not even seen the police. (Just to say that I have a Security Clearance & Enhanced DBS) I have asked for access to see my son but she has replied that I am only allowed supervised access, again I don't know where this is coming from as there is nothing in writing from Social Services or the courts. This makes me feel like I am a child molester or rapist and I feel like ending my life because of how I have been treated. I have suggested to my wife via email that we sell the house and split 50/50, the mortgage is paid off, I move somewhere else as at present she lives with her dad 5 minutes away from the family home and I will resume contact with my son once settled. I have also stated that afterwards the divorce proceeding will be easier, quicker & cheaper as apart from our son, there is nothing to tie us together. She has said that after getting legal advice her solicitor has said divorce first then the house as she will get more that the 50/50 split. I cant afford lawyers or barristers, but she can and that's the stage that I am at now. Any views or advice will be greatly received. Cry
Chin up soldier, you have new orders....

At this point in time you have seen nothing from her solicitors or social services or the police about any of this, have the police actually been to see you? She may well have just done her research at this stage and be 'projecting' what she wants to happen. Do the following:

1) See SSAFA and RBL, they have support workers who will assist you, getting your head in the right place is your priority right now, your child needs you to stay strong for them.
2) See some solicitors who will offer free advice, a 30 minute or 60 minute consultation, SSAFA and RBL will be able to do this also .
3) Her denying you access to your child is wrong, if there is nothing to back this up she may just have done a runner, she might be trying to push you into doing something stupid, others here will advise you better, I'm fairly sure you could take action to access your child.

Then it is time for you to take the offensive:

1) It costs £550, but start the divorce on grounds of unreasonable behaviour, its just a form to fill in.
2) Start separating things like bank accounts, savings accounts, anything really where you can protect yourself from her meddling.
3) Arrange mediation to sort out child access and split of equity. You've clearly started looking at this but for both children and money, its complex, but you have to start somewhere. She hasn't started yet otherwise you would have had something in writing from one of the agencies.

Good Luck and feel free to PM me...

SSgt Sandman
Hi SSgt Sandman,

Many thanks for your prompt reply, great advice working on it now. I will keep you posted.


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