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She wants me to tell the kids we're separating on my own
#1
In short our marriage has been dead for years, she was unhappy way before I was. No physical closeness, rejecting me, putting me down and not wanting to do anything at all together. I hung around for years wanting it to change but nothing has. We've had conversations before about splitting but never gone through with it. I now have told her I can't see anyway back so I think it's over.

Problem is she has now made it out to be all my decision to break up the family so I would have to tell the kids on my own. I think this is a really bad idea and will make me look like the bad guy.

Has anyone experienced something similar?
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#2
I think you should both tell children together then nobody is getting the blame. thats out of order expecting u to tell children and u been made to be responsible. also how could this affect the children if it isnt done the correct way
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#3
How can I force her it's really difficult? Agree it will harm the children if we don't have a united front on this. If she was really honest she'd admit our relationship is long dead. Think the victim card will be played. I really wanted things to turn around but they're not going to and I feel strong enough to move forward now (it's taken years to get here)
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#4
This is how they operate. Prepare for a rough ride.

How old are the children?
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#5
5, 7nd 10
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#6
Paul, my ex was much the same, she cannot see or accept her own part in anything. Have you suggested counselling? its a great tool for dealing with the emotional side and making the decision to split and will help to split amicably with some closure.
You'll need patience to let her come round to the idea that its real and she cant bury her head in the sand.
The councillor suggested to us that we have a trial separation, get away from each other and see how you feel in 3 months. I was all for it but ex didnt want the embarrassment of telling anyone. As if a terrible split and a year of custody battles was a better choice. Se le vie
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#7
If it comes to it and you have to do it alone then use the royal ‘we’. Mummy and Daddy are breaking up, no reasons need to be given to the kids really. Kids don’t need to know all the ins and outs of adult stuff.

The usual and sensible advise is not to move out until certain things are sorted , access, financial agreement etc so they don’t really need to be told until you are at the stage where one of you is moving out to live elsewhere.
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