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Ex breaking contact order
#1
Hi everyone,

So I am still battling my ex for access to my sons, she had the case delayed from the 16th July to the 27th September based on the fact her legal aid has yet to be granted and has had her solicitor working for her for free. (Surely this isn’t good practice on their behalf?)

However in the mean time my ex is still refusing to allow me contact with my sons, making the allegations that because I was supposedly domestically abusive to her, she fears for their safety around me. Not to mention she still has yet to have me tested for drugs and alcohol as she has made allegations of me supposedly being a user and an alcoholic, both of which are completely outlandish and something she has said purposely to prevent me from having contact.

The court in the meantime has continued with the direction that I am to send a letter and small gifts to my sons no more than once a fortnight, which I have adhered to. My ex however was ordered by the court to reply to any letters that the children receive but she has decided to take it upon herself to ignore this and stopped replying, the last response being on the 6th June.
I am getting sick and tired of this woman choosing what suits her and her lifestyle, she was able to pay for a boudoir photoshoot for herself for example, but claimed she had no money to pay for supervised contact to allow me to see my sons.
I have asked her solicitor to direct my ex that she is to reply to any correspondence sent to the children, but again this has been ignored. They seem to be very good at making claims that I need to read the orders given to me, something I do very carefully, but then ignore the orders issued to them by the court.

What should I do because I’m tired of getting the run around continuously on her whim while she can breach court orders whenever she feels like it. Hell as it is I am already missing my second sons 1st birthday because of my ex next week.
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#2
I can bet you now that you will have to pay for the Drugs/Alcohol tests.....
The opinions here are not that of Separated Dads, but merely a loving father who has been through the process and has come out the other side.
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#3
Don't think they can make someone self representing pay all for the drugs/alcohol test. his ex is receiving legal aid soon, also they would of ordered one by now as well anyway. Most you would have to pay is half towards it as its his ex making the accusations also and trying to get him to do one. When they do suggest you pay half I would also state to court that your ex is asking for one so she can pay for it !!
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#4
I’m not so much concerned about the drugs/alcohol test as I barely drink and I never take any form of drugs.

I think the thing that annoys me the most is her breachig a direct order from the court that states she is to respond to my letters and is refusing to respond to the letters. It doesn’t seem to be enough for her that she has stopped all direct contact, seeing as I haven’t seen them since April 14th in a contact centre but she seems intent on removing me from their lives entirely.
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#5
A lot of people have had this . A solicitor that will use anyway possible even not complying with courts to delay you seeing your child on their clients instructions.
Not all solicitors operate this way as some are child focused , but a lot will as its all about getting best for their client any means possible even if it means not thinking about poor children that have to suffer.
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#6
Wouldnt it be nice if the guilty party paid in full.
If the accuser is wrong and the tests clear then she pays.
If the accused denies it and the tests prove drugs, alcohol then she pays.

Akarou, my one piece of advice is try not to get too wound up or upset about her games. Just get the proof in court admissible format. Youre playing the long game and when you are successful she will be beside herself with anger and you need to be well practised in not reacting. It would be exactly what she wants [not that you have, just advice]
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#7
if you don't drink kindly offer to do an alcohol test to courts , but she will be expected to pay costs.
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#8
(08-13-2018, 05:42 PM)warwickshire1 Wrote: if you don't drink kindly offer to do an alcohol test to courts , but she will be expected to pay costs.

If its up to the judge, can you say - "I know this to be a completely false accusation so Im happy to do these tests but WHEN they come back negative can you award the costs against Satan over there?"
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#9
Thanks for the replies guys. She has to pay for the drugs/alcohol testing under her legal aid certificate as ordered by the courts. It was never done by the last deadline as apparently 15 weeks between April and July was not enough time to rectify any issues with getting her public funding certificate... ?
Hence they delayed it until September 27th and ordered my ex wifes solicitor to get the funding within 10 working days from the 16th July and here I am still waiting for the drugs/alcohol test to be booked and done. Something tells me that she will still have no legal aid by the 27/9/2018 and try to delay it again, while being represented for free by her solicitor yet again.
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#10
they wont let her delay again , what is the next hearing called you are going to ? are you not going to a final hearing next ? Let them dig a hole as once you done test , remember her solicitor doesn't know you personally , everything will suddenly swing in your favour due to what shes doing. just got to be calm .

Niave: I wouldn't word that different , you say it all serious and kindly offer to do test out of kindness of your heart - so fully co-operating with courts Smile. They will soon know what is going on when it comes back fine...a mum denying a dad access anyway possible
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