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Moving out - Why not?
#1
Hi, I've been reading through the posts on here, this is a great site and resource, but one piece of advice I keep coming across is not to move out of the family home and I was wondering what the rationale is behind this piece of advice? Is it due to the old tale about if you move out you lose your rights? I don't think this is applicable anymore.

Me and my STBX wife have separated and started divorce proceedings, she lives in our home with our 2 children, 5 & 4, the house in in my name and I still (and have always) paid the full mortgage. I moved out as the atmosphere was terrible, we were arguing and I also couldn't bear to go home after work, she would also shout and swear in front of the kids which I hated, so I moved out and live a short distance away at my parents. She lets me see the kids whenever I want (so far) which is good and we are generally amicable. I will go into more detail on my story in another thread but I was just wondering about the above question, why not move out?
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#2
hi

basically I did also into a shared house, they judge said my housing needs have been met even though I have nowhere for my kids and awarded her the house in its entirety even though she's struggling to afford it..of course she will be more amicable as she has the house and you're paying for it!
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#3
(08-17-2018, 11:03 AM)mrbungle Wrote: hi

basically I did also into a shared house, they judge said my housing needs have been met even though I have nowhere for my kids and awarded her the house in its entirety even though she's struggling to afford it..of course she will be more amicable as she has the house and you're paying for it!

Thanks, presently there are no courts involved and our house is up for sale with us agreeing a 50/50 split of the equity. If we fall out then I will move back in to protect from the above situation.

Are there any other reasons?
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#4
What if she backs out of the sale?
Practically she's got everything she wants, you paying the mortgage and not in her life any more.
What's her reason to want to sell?
You can't just move back in if you feel like it.
Also if she gets legal advice she could be told she's entitled to more than 50%
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#5
(08-20-2018, 10:25 AM)watsa64 Wrote: What if she backs out of the sale?
Practically she's got everything she wants, you paying the mortgage and not in her life any more.
What's her reason to want to sell?
You can't just move back in if you feel like it.
Also if she gets legal advice she could be told she's entitled to more than 50%

1. It's possible, but she wants the sale as she can't afford the house and wants the equity for a new start.
2. Yeap, something I'm willing to put up with as at the moment I can see the kids whenever I want.
3. She can't afford the house and wants the equity for a new start.
4. Why not? The house is in my name.
5. Yes, I'm hoping she doesn't, at the moment she's happy with half the equity.
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#6
4) If you have been out of the house for more than 30 days it is no longer classed as your home, and you would have the same rights as a landlord, basically you would have to ask her for access but could not live there.
The opinions here are not that of Separated Dads, but merely a loving father who has been through the process and has come out the other side.
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#7
You could argue that she can afford the house at the moment because you're paying for it.
Have you sought legal advice?
The usual pattern here is for all the niceties to go out the window once she sees a solicitor.
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#8
(08-20-2018, 11:11 AM)invisibleintellectual Wrote: 4) If you have been out of the house for more than 30 days it is no longer classed as your home, and you would have the same rights as a landlord, basically you would have to ask her for access but could not live there.

Interesting, I never knew this. 

I've explained my full situation here if anyone wants to comment. Thank you for the reply's so far.

http://www.separateddads.co.uk/forum/thread-7163.html
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#9
OUTLOOK: You might be one of a small percentage, that you left on amicable terms and your ex is a nice person with morals . You left the home and she respects that and she doesnt want children to not see their father. Your ex respects you need to find a new home and wants to sell up and has realistically realised that she cant afford it on her own. so everything is been totally fair.

Hope it works out for you this way. big percentage it can go very wrong and nasty , not suggesting it will happen in your case.
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#10
I probably spoke to soon as she's now demanding more money and threatening to not let me see the kids until I pay up. She is volatile though and see's how much the kids love me and their time with me so will probably come to her senses, I have a short holiday booked with them next week.

I will try to hold out as if I bend to her will she will always have that card in her pocket in future!
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