Thread Rating:
  • 0 Vote(s) - 0 Average
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
Breaking my court order - children being smacked.
#1
Hello,

My ex partner and i seporated a few years ago, i had to twke her to court to get access to my children.

To cut a long story short,

The kids have been telling me her partner has been smacking this children, i rang the police and social services and none of them were interested in taking it further.

They have come again and stated he is still smacking them.

I would like to keep the children breaking my court order and apply to the courts to get a custody order to live with me.

I have expressed my concernes to the mother and she has told me she is stopping access and i have to go to court anyway.

I have been googling for hours and have come across nothing about how i should go about this, she is telling me that if the children are not back with her on sunday the police will be collecting them (not sure if this is true). How do i put an application to the courts for a hearing without giving the kids back?
Reply
#2
If you been to court to see children and got a child arrangements order you must return the children. I am pretty sure if you dont you will be in a lot of trouble and she more than likely could involve the police.

I see before you contact police and social services and they didnt do anything, so likely the same is to happen again. sorry its not what you want to hear and it is frustrating to say the least if her partners boyfriend is behaving like this. only possible thing you could do is tell children if they get hit is to tell their teacher
Reply
#3
You can’t keep the kids.

But you can tell them that they should fight back. That they should tell their teachers. That they should call child line.

You can also keep telling social services. Every week send a letter. seriously you can wear them down.

But don’t keep the kids. It will backfire.

The kids telling their teachers will probably be the most likely to have an effect.
Reply
#4
You cant keep the kids but......
When I called the police once they said they would do nothing unless I could explicitly say child was in danger, otherwise they said it was a civil matter and would need to be sorted in court.

Definitely agree with Tomato, encourage the kids to make enough noise so its not just you. School could help a lot if they get involved. You have to go to court so get it done ASAP but dont keep the kids. If anything let her stop contact and her be the one in trouble.
Reply
#5
Agree tell them to talk to someone at school. The school have a duty to refer on - and they will probably contact social services which will give your report more back up - especially if they hear it from the kids. It is frustrating and worrying and upsetting - been there. Keep pushing - as Tamogoto says - put something in writing and send it to social services and ask them to keep it on the file from your previous report.

It's a nightmare really. I had something like this a few years ago - more than smacking - son terrified. Had to take him back - told him if anything happened before he came again to tell someone at school. Ex then stopped contact which made the anxiety worse. Went to see a solicitor next day to get an urgent hearing to have him live with me. Solicitor told me - you won't get it - you have no evidence. She also said - if you call social services they'll go round and won't find anything. They won't do anything unless he is hospitalised. I asked if they would do anything if he told them himself and she said yes. She said best to get the regular contact back and just keep an eye on things. My plan at that time was - if anything happened again i would call social services to come out when son was with me and let him tell them. She however had got wind of it and nothing happened for ages.

Recently contacted social services with similar concerns - they said they were opening a case but didn't do anything after the police went round and said "no concerns".

The evidence you need for court for welfare issues is a social services or police report - but social services are too busy and don't do anything unless there's evidence (they may talk to the children at school if the school report it). The other thing is i am pretty sure if it's in a situation wth separated parents they don't take it seriously. My ex told the police it was harrassment when they went round - and they seemed to believe her - at first.

The other issue is - as the Solicitor told me a few years ago - smacking is a parental choice. I realise it's her partner and not her and he's not the parent. But if there are no visible marks then there may not be much you can do. Best option is to get the kids to talk to someone at school.
Reply
#6
Fair enough Charlie, there may not be much you can do if the other parent or partner smacks but me personally, I would create merry hell to put the fear of God in ex and partner. Make them think twice before he raises a hand to my daughter. If a fuss is made each time it happens then maybe there might be a real possibility of removing the child the mother might think twice.

Honestly what kind of a parent lets someone else discipline their child physically. Seems alien to me.
Reply
#7
Believe me. A dark alley and a baseball bat isn’t beyond me. Especially around my kids and as a last resort..... but it’s not likely to make anything better. Only much much worse. Let’s keep hammering the system and get it moved.
Reply
#8
If there are genuine concerns around safeguarding and there is a court order , You can keep hold of the children. But in doing so yes u are technically breaking the court order. If you do prevent the children going back in to the other patents care you need to act very quickly. Get Social on board , raise the concerns. Get an application into court ie emergency hearing. With the backing from Social Services and police.
I stopped contact due to safeguarding concerns. Courts didnt give two monkeys about it.
evidence everything. The problem is that your a father. If you was the mother it would be considered ok .
Reply
#9
You're right Naive - I've become jaded. Yep what kind of parent disciplines their child physically - my ex - from day 1 - and makes no bones about the fact she does it. Unfortunately its not illegal.
Reply
#10
In law smacking children is not illegal however leaving a mark is. I never promoted any time of abuse, in terms of social work ,emotional harm from the impact of any physical is equally damaging to a child. Its never ok to abuse children. Yet the courts allow the said when it choose too. (When the father is alleged to cause harm to a child)
Reply


Possibly Related Threads...
Thread Author Replies Views Last Post
  Mum breaking CAO prior to Dispute Resolution Hearing Sadman2016 0 408 08-30-2021, 05:25 PM
Last Post: Sadman2016
  At breaking point now Larri002 9 10,016 11-13-2018, 10:33 AM
Last Post: warwickshire1
Exclamation Not returning children - residency order and child protection Dalton2018 2 3,452 09-22-2018, 03:23 PM
Last Post: Tamagoto
  Ex breaking contact order Akarou 11 10,417 08-13-2018, 09:17 PM
Last Post: Akarou
  email refresh button breaking Naive 0 1,769 03-29-2018, 10:33 AM
Last Post: Naive
  variation of court order - attempt to increase time with children Spigot58 2 3,895 01-12-2018, 01:24 PM
Last Post: Spigot58
  Access to Children and what to expect in Court SF79 1 3,054 08-17-2017, 09:06 PM
Last Post: marwood
  Non-UK citizen with UK children -- court system Yank 1 3,162 08-13-2017, 05:25 AM
Last Post: MarkR
  EXTRA ACCESS APPARENTLY BREAKING COURT ORDER? ootracieoo 1 3,907 09-27-2016, 06:05 PM
Last Post: MarkR



Users browsing this thread: 1 Guest(s)