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Advice on breach of order
#1
So we went to court in may, we didnt take the stand as an agreement was made regarding the schedule. Its taken 3 months for the order to be sealed but I finally received it last week.

This is regarding our 4 year old daughter who is starting school next week.

During the drafting of the order the ex fought very hard to have my time start at 3:15 after school on my days and finish at 9am before school. Thus her time covers all school time. You can probably see where Im going with this.

The courts legal adviser said it would have to be a separate court application if we wanted the court to decide [this was obviously debated], I had asked for my time to include school time on my days, so I gave the ex the benefit of the doubt and agreed her times. The exact scenario I predicted has now occurred and daughter hasnt even started school yet.

The long story short is, ex has made every attempt to exclude me from school stuff so far, however the school was kind enough to offer a teacher home visit to me as well as the ex. Mine was first in the morning and ex's was in the afternoon. I had my daughter the night before so organised the visit first thing in the morning and then took her to childminder.

I text the ex to let her know about the visit and text the childminder to let her know we would be late. No answer from the ex until 9:05 on the morning of the visit. Ex claims I am in breach of the order, she clearly stated I should not be informing her but asking her permission.

My solicitor said at the time of court that school events would not be classed as a breach, this is the only reason I agreed, rather than go back to court.

My daughter absolutely loved the home visit from the teachers, it went great and it was lovely to sit down with the teahers and discuss daughters education.

So here are my thoughts, if I EVER had a chance of changing the order to include school time, surely a home visit from teachers is the most innocent and wholesome example of why it needs to be changed. [rather than lets say, daughter was ill on a school day and stayed home with me]
But the order has only been sealed a few days and daughter is starting school, is this really best for daughter to be going back to court so soon?

Now that its sealed would we get the same judges or whichever judge was sitting on the day?

I can feel a great relationship with the school coming on, they asked me to bring my partners shetland ponies to the school Fayre next April. I really dont want to go into school and explain that we are having trouble before she has even started school.


What are your thoughts guys? its a 50/50 whether the ex will apply for enforcement on this single occasion, I tend to think she would be stupid to do so.
I know this issue isnt going away, she made it clear in court she wanted the school to only deal with her and she is f**king furious that the school OFFERED to do two home visits.

Should I ask for a variation for my time to include school time so that I can get involved with school without fear of breach?
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#2
Good luck enforcing order to your ex. she will be going absolutely nowhere with this.
I would write down what happened though as its highly likely if she don't change her ways you will be going back to court to variate order.
next time hopefully there isn't a next time for you I would be asking to drop off at school and pick up from school for starters
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#3
(09-07-2018, 07:42 AM)warwickshire1 Wrote: Good luck enforcing order to your ex. she will be going absolutely nowhere with this.
I would write down what happened though as its highly likely if she don't change her ways you will be going back to court to variate order.
next time hopefully there isn't a next time for you I would be asking to drop off at school and pick up from school for starters

Cheers, yes as of next week ALL pick up and drop offs will be from, to school. I wont have to see ex on any regular basis, woohoo. Its the fact that her contact time covers all school time, which means if I attend school events, late drop offs etc I will always be risking a breach. A stress I can do without [but its not going to stop me]

Considering how bad it was last year its ten times better and Im not worried, ex has very little control left and is grasping on to any last semblance of it.
My biggest fear is a judge that thinks mum knows best and I should be asking permission to be involved in school.

THERE WILL BE A NEXT TIME> It will be next week because daughter only has half days lol
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#4
You are definitely not breaching. You ae allowed to go to school events and dropping off late isn't a breach either.
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#5
As Warwicshire said, I would just document it in a polite email. Something like Dear Ex - our daughter's teachers organised a home visit for both parents and mine was on x date when daughter was here the night before. As a result I took her to nursery later than usual so she could meet the teacher who came for the home visit. I see this as normal flexibility and in our daughter's best interests. Regards, you.

Something like that then forget it. If she did try and enforce you can show the email sent and the court would agree!

I also have an issue that the times start end of school and return to school. However it's not that important. Technically they are in the school's care between 9am and 3.15pm. The only difference would be if your daughter was taken unwell at school and needed to go home early. Although that suggests she would go to the ex in that situation - it is not a situation that would happen very often. I haven't had that situation yet but have no doubt ex would insist he went home to her and I would then collect him from her house at 3.15pm! Silly - on the other hand if school phoned me and said he was unwell and it was my night I would just collect him early.

Just remember - he is in the school's care 9am to 3.15pm. Teachers are classed as in loco parentis (ie stand in parents) during that time. If it is a school event - a play or other thing - it is not her time - it is a school event and either parent can go. My ex tried that - said sports day was her contact time. Bollocks - it's sports day - a school event, not home living time.

It makes her feel she has the upper hand and it's annoying, but in reality it won't be an issue except on very rare occasions. My order isn't specific enough = it says "until school drop off time". Ex is now arguing that school drop off time should be 10 minutes before school starts and that 10 minutes is her time so she should provide the packed lunch. That immediately preceeded her threat to move away so never got dealt with.

Glad the school are being helpful. I've found primary school quite good. Not so much these days as ex has made so many formal complaints against individual members of staff that they are all scared of her.
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#6
Cheers, I said this “school events aren’t your time to control and is not a breach, check with your solicitor and if you still feel strongly we can go back to court to change the times. The school have agreed to give me exact copies of everything so there’s no need to discuss anymore.”
She’s wound her neck right in now. She’s being sickly nice, she thinks I’m stupid. Shes offered to share everything now in the hopes I’ll give up and the school will only deal with her.
On a side note we’ve both done drop offs and pick ups together this week (I had it in the court order) and she looks terrible. She is almost completely grey now and just hasn’t been looking after herself. I’ll never understand where this desperate need to control everything comes from, she’s gonna put herself in an early grave.
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#7
Good news :-) Primary schools are good I've found. Their remit is to deal with "parents or carers" - they aren't interested in who the child lives with or whether or not you have PR - unless the ex makes a stink then you just prove you have PR.
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