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Forced to move out
#11
(09-13-2018, 08:10 AM)separatedsoon Wrote: Thank you everyone. Especially Charlie7000 for taking the time to go into so much detail. I will look into Form C100 as well.

We have our next mediation session shortly when we will be discussing the kids arrangements and ideas for the house. So I'll not do anything until then in any case. I've already put forward suggestions for both. I can't afford to move out, but have said it will only happen if I pay less each month towards my home/family etc. It will be with a loan from my parents, that will then show as a liability on my Form E.

Thank you again. I'll check out 'move out' posts as well. Just to scare me some more! Smile

Isn't it amazing in today's world, this is allowed to happen still.

I was persuaded by this forum  not to move out. I stayed for 6 months until finances were agreed by both sets of solicitors and the house was sold. 
I can't say it was easy - I was physically threatened and verbally abused, but I think if I hadn't stuck it out she might still be there now.
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#12
(09-13-2018, 09:15 AM)watsa64 Wrote:
(09-13-2018, 08:10 AM)separatedsoon Wrote: Thank you everyone. Especially Charlie7000 for taking the time to go into so much detail. I will look into Form C100 as well.

We have our next mediation session shortly when we will be discussing the kids arrangements and ideas for the house. So I'll not do anything until then in any case. I've already put forward suggestions for both. I can't afford to move out, but have said it will only happen if I pay less each month towards my home/family etc. It will be with a loan from my parents, that will then show as a liability on my Form E.

Thank you again. I'll check out 'move out' posts as well. Just to scare me some more! Smile

Isn't it amazing in today's world, this is allowed to happen still.

I was persuaded by this forum  not to move out. I stayed for 6 months until finances were agreed by both sets of solicitors and the house was sold. 
I can't say it was easy - I was physically threatened and verbally abused, but I think if I hadn't stuck it out she might still be there now.

Interesting point though. I'm worried that if I do stay, she'll then play hardball and I'll end up with less out of it during the divorce. If I go, she'll be happier and I'll end up with more of what I want (and probably more of what's best for the kids).
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#13
If you move out, she'll have gotten what she wants. There's no incentive for her to compromise. You may end up having to take her to court to force the issue. This will be a five figure sum for you.
The key thing is not to give her an excuse to get you out via an occupation order.
That means avoiding all confrontation and recording all interaction between each other.
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#14
If you're already going to mediation it could be an idea to write up a parenting plan and take it along. If the mediator can use it to get agreement on most areas it could be put into a consent order by solicitors. I found this template good and it helps think about all kinds of other issues that can occur, as well as how much time with each parent and when etc. You can edit it how you want - change headings, add or remove sections etc, to fit what you want. I had in it a bit about school uniform - eg I paid for school shoes, she paid for school coat. Saves arguments later. As well as the agreed child support. You don't have to put money things in though. Stuff like - what you'll do if the child is ill. I put - manage it within the family but inform the other parent.

What I like about it is it assumes, in the wording, that the children "live with" both parents. And with a bit of luck she may not notice that bit! Although she probably will. It's just for the child arrangements though. Even if it's no help at mediation, it's a good thing to have prepared if you apply to court for a child arrangements order as they usually ask for a parentig plan from each parent at the first hearing. The Judge looks at both and sees where you're both coming from. So your parenting plan would be as you would like things to be (and shows how sensible and reasonable you are) whereas hers might be me, me, me!

Click on the download link further down the page. It's a pdf.

https://www.separatedfamilies.info/home/...greements/
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