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When did the emotional "fog" lift for you?
#81
(09-24-2018, 08:59 AM)Fatcat1980 Wrote: p.s. It's difficult right now.  I've come a long way and have been strong.  I feel great.  But she moved out at the weekend and due to the fact that we can't just have an instant clean break, she's coming and going from the house for at least the next few weeks.  That makes me feel like the one left behind, which is tough.  Tougher than I thought.  A lot of the pain and the jealousy is back.

Fatcat - you might have seen it written elsewhere, but the next few weeks will be difficult, cut her off as much as possible, keep out of her way, stick her stuff in boxes and leave this all in the garage (or similar), my ex insisted on keeping a key for way too long, I regretted it. Also, if you can afford to, start putting your stamp on your place as soon as possible... Good luck!
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#82
(09-24-2018, 08:59 AM)Fatcat1980 Wrote: p.s. It's difficult right now.  I've come a long way and have been strong.  I feel great.  But she moved out at the weekend and due to the fact that we can't just have an instant clean break, she's coming and going from the house for at least the next few weeks.  That makes me feel like the one left behind, which is tough.  Tougher than I thought.  A lot of the pain and the jealousy is back.

It's a strange one. After the revelations I had over the weekend I thought I'd be feeling a sense of relief today but in fact, sadness has come back & hit me quite hard.

I'm not sure what it is, perhaps it's because things are actually becoming real now, decisions have been made & there's a sense of it all becoming final in the air. I guess with all of the emotions over the last 3 months or so it's felt more like a battle than anything else & all time it was being fought, the actual sense of what's going to end up being wasn't always at the front of my mind. 9 times out of 10, when sadness got me, we'd have a blazing row & anger would replace that feeling & suppress it.

We even discussed getting some of the decorating finished (we pretty much have all of the paint & materials bought anyway) to make things look more attractive to potential buyers. For those moments, it felt like us being a team again & all the shit stuff kinda disappeared. The emotional roller coaster continues!
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#83
(09-24-2018, 11:40 AM)Mr Sandman Wrote:
(09-24-2018, 08:59 AM)Fatcat1980 Wrote: p.s. It's difficult right now.  I've come a long way and have been strong.  I feel great.  But she moved out at the weekend and due to the fact that we can't just have an instant clean break, she's coming and going from the house for at least the next few weeks.  That makes me feel like the one left behind, which is tough.  Tougher than I thought.  A lot of the pain and the jealousy is back.

Fatcat - you might have seen it written elsewhere, but the next few weeks will be difficult, cut her off as much as possible, keep out of her way, stick her stuff in boxes and leave this all in the garage (or similar), my ex insisted on keeping a key for way too long, I regretted it. Also, if you can afford to, start putting your stamp on your place as soon as possible... Good luck!

Thanks fella.  I'm doing a lot of what you say... going round the house and moving things, changing things, dumping things.  It's going to be a nice place if I can get over the past. My son is moving into our old office that became her room for a month or so.  I've changed the feel of our bedroom with new bedclothes, shifting furniture and putting up blinds.  All pictures are gone.  I've moved all the furniture in the living room and am getting rid of furniture downstairs.  I'm going to redesign the kitchen. Might even fit a new one.  Yes, she has a key.  I'm going to roll with it for a few weeks. We still have much to divide and sort out, but as soon as I can I'm going to lay down firmer rules.  I can't get into her place, after all.  Not that she's said I can't.

I'll try to stay out of her way.  I'm WFH today so I'm stuck here... on my own.  Probably doesn't help.  There have been a lot of tears over the past 3 days which has surprised me a bit.  Mine and hers and the kids seem very agitated too.

Dan mate... revelations? What did I miss?
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#84
(09-24-2018, 12:11 PM)Fatcat1980 Wrote: Dan mate... revelations?  What did I miss?

http://www.separateddads.co.uk/forum/thread-7652.html
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#85
Yeah sorry, just saw it.  Will get with the programme pronto.
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#86
Think it's been a strange weekend for all mate.
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#87
(09-24-2018, 12:20 PM)DanDad Wrote: Think it's been a strange weekend for all mate.

Mine started with a date in London with the woman I've been dating... so yes, a complete rollercoaster of emotions!
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#88
(09-24-2018, 12:20 PM)DanDad Wrote: Think it's been a strange weekend for all mate.

Yeh i got a long text from the ex having a go at me for letting my daughter have a nap in the car when I dropped her back to my house....

Thats on top of a text a few days ago of her accusing me of putting spiders in our daughters bedroom...

She is crazy...
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#89
(09-24-2018, 11:38 AM)Fatcat1980 Wrote: Hi Jim,

She's an odd one.  She'll come across to many people as a mature, well-rounded individual but she's anything but ...
... The last I heard of this guy, she told me he turned out to be a prick.  

That comes across in the things you've written. He sounds like a predator not jut a prick. She's acting like a love struck teenager.
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#90
Meteorological autumn started. No one likes the dark nights. I reckon it's that!
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