Our nightmare...

[BKCurran]

Hi, I fear my son  is in big trouble, he has
been with his partner for 10 years married 3...but I have not trusted her
since he met her for loads of reasons that she has manifested , they have 2 children which we hardly see and has tried to
manipulate money from us for years.... they have a equity loan which she
wants us to pay off but now wants a £100,000 pay off, she has said she will
run up debts on their joint account and said she wants her garden redone so
its more child friendly and hall and stairway redecorated and will get
tradesmen in to do it,,,,,,they live in a newly built house... I am over half
way building another house each for my 2 sons from a converted bungalow left
to them jointly before they got married, She said she could take him to the
cleaners but is being reasonable....help needed please.

[Mr Sandman]

You need to sit your son down and tell him to start preparing. Tell him to:

1) Start separating finances with her, removing joint accounts, bills in only one name, tell him to cancel credit cards and joint credit cards and accounts, you might help him with some of that to protect him from her financial abuse.
2) The equity loan is in effect a mortgage, so don't worry about that, it cant be increased unless they both sign.
3) Other avenues of debt (secured against the house) can only be done if they both sign, tell him to be careful what he signs.
4) Tell her there wont be another penny from you.

Once he has cut off her access to run up debts in joint names, she cant do it. If she does take out a loan in her name and its secured against the house I guess there must be a way to prevent this or write to someone to stop her doing it in advance, but I don't know how, maybe a dept management specialist could advise you on that?

[Living Bate]

Sage advice there Sandman

[BKCurran]

The bungalow is my sons in his own right , I was advised to not finish it but can he give it to his brother peace meal to protect it from being used as a bargaining tool...I have already put new floors and kitchen in her new house and yet treated like poo on the bottom of her shoes because I stick up to her.. She just spent £5000 at the dentist and says the £100,000 pay off will be cheaper in the Long run....Thanks for your help.