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Nightmare!!!??
#1
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Had a nightmare day with the ex...

A couple of months ago I order the kids passports and booked a holiday in October for a week for myself, my partner and my two kids. In the court order it says I can take them away for a week just need to give a months notice. 

Got everything booked.. Informed school as they'll be missing the last two days of term and signed the required papers, school were happy. 

Wrote up a letter for the ex to sign to state that she was happy for me to take them out of the country. 

40 days to go and she's turned round today to say that she 'no longer agrees to me taking them away as she's decided she's changed her mind and will write a letter of retraction' she's saying she can stopcock me going because they'll he missing two days of school and she'll miss out on two nights a with them.. Where on earth do I stand?! Can she stop I us going even though she's been signed to letter and it's all paid for?
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#2
Someone else will come along with definitive advice.

What we can say is that you sought and received the school's permission and her permission. She's signed and the school has signed. You're within your rights as per the order and per the law, you gave the required notice and got the required permissions.

First things first, keep a very very cool head and be exceptionally polite. Write to her offering what days she'll miss in the following week, you lose out a bit but you're only trying to do the best for your children. If you can't be persuaded gently to relent, then I suggest you seek an urgent enforcement order (c79) and in it you seek costs for the lost holiday. If that don't frighten her, then go ahead and enforce. Painful but judges will actually give financial compensation if a holiday is booked and you loose out. Its one of the few things they do give a financial compensation order for. The judge will lol at from the perspective of the child and want to know why if you went through all that trouble and she was in agreement she changed her mind.

C79 is free if you're on a low income.
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#3
(09-14-2018, 06:16 PM)Chi21965 Wrote: Someone else will come along with definitive advice.

What we can say is that you sought and received the school's permission and her permission. She's signed and the school has signed. You're within your rights as per the order and per the law, you gave the required notice and got the required permissions.

First things first, keep a very very cool head and be exceptionally polite. Write to her offering what days she'll miss in the following week, you lose out a bit but you're only trying to do the best for your children. If you can't be persuaded gently to relent, then I suggest you seek an urgent enforcement order (c79) and in it you seek costs for the lost holiday. If that don't frighten her, then go ahead and enforce. Painful but judges will actually give financial compensation if a holiday is booked and you loose out. Its one of the few things they do give a financial compensation order for. The judge will lol at from the perspective of  the child and want to know why if you went through all that trouble and she was in agreement she changed her mind.

C79 is free if you're on a low income.

Thanks so much for your response!!! Just want to know where I stand in all this ridiculousness!
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#4
she will have to allow you otherwise like said above you take her to court and she has to reimburse you for holiday as it is in your order u can take them away for a week and to give a months notice.
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#5
You're welcome Anondad.

I think all the work you have to do consists of two emails. The first you can send now saying you'd like to carry on with the plans that you have for the kids' holiday, they deserve a nice break and you hope that she will go back to what she agreed because that's what best for our children. If she says no, then send her another email.

Your second email runs like this - write saying how disappointed you are that she has decided not to honour what she agreed and signed to. Attach the C79 form and say that if she does not honour her signed agreement you will take the matter to court urgently and that there will be two outcomes. A cancelled holiday for the children and her being made financially responsible for that or being ordered to allow the holiday to take place under some other future penalty from the judge if she continues to block it - hey, thr judge could get creative! Point out that judges will always reimburse for cancelled holidays and its one of the few things they will make a financial compensation order for in family law. You should add that you will also be seeking for her to pay the costs of seeking the enforcement application; you won't get it but she doesn't need to know that!

I would give her 48 hours to respond (point out that this whole matter is time pressured) and if she doesn't respond, go to court and file the C79. At the very least you'll get your money back, she won't play this game again next year and the judge will be appprised of just how difficult a woman your ex is which will be handy is she decides to be a pain again in thr future.

C79 form here:

https://www.gov.uk/government/publicatio...ment-order

The form is mostlh fillable electronically and you need to only put in the bare bones of what you did, date of signed agreements, attach them and attach a copy of the relevant court order. Make sure you fill out the section where they ask if you want money awarded.

If you're on a low income, the aplication is free. You send in Form EX160. You don't need a reply that thr fee is being waived before you pay. Just fill in the form, sign and take along with you to the court. Form here:

https://www.gov.uk/government/publicatio...bunal-fees

The emails need to be super polite and suggest an alternative or more than one alternative for her missed contacts as the judge will ask at court, 'yes, I see you have an order supporting your right to a holiday and I see you sought and obtained all the relevant permissions, but what did you do to fix the situation when your wife changed her mind?' These two emails showed you try to convince her, offered a choice of alternative dates and even for her to suggest some other alternative and warned her of the consequences. I don't think you can be more reasonable than that!
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