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Mail order brides
#11
From my own anecdotal experience British women are increasingly getting a bad reputation at home and abroad truth be known.
I've had this discussion with British, Dutch, Polish, Romanian, American colleagues (even a polish lady I share an office with).
There is a valid reason why the Germans openly mock British women as Vicky Pollards.

A big reason simply comes down to the way they've seen the way British men and women interact with each other in clubs and pubs. The clue is we don't interact normally with each other compared to the continent
I know this sounds basic but in East Europe they book a table somewhere for the initial start of a night out, they order drinks and they simply interact and get merry. This is just one example but I've worked enough in east Europe to pick up on the major differences culturally and the British way of doing things is simply crap, culturally and in lifestyle.

Comparatively in the UK men and women don't have that same level of interaction, you generally get separated groups of men and women standing separately in deafening music not interacting. I could go on forever on the other subtle differences I see.

Personally speaking when I do look to date in the future I will try and keep an open mind but for many reasons and past experiences I do feel the odds are stacked against me for finding a British woman I'd ever want to settle down with. In today's world of having to be politically correct though I'll bite my tongue on what those reasons are.
To clarify it's nothing to do with me being some chauvinist 1950's throwback.
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#12
(09-19-2018, 10:32 AM)Jim Wrote: Is it as simple as a literally transactional relationship? If our ideas of romantic love are unrealistic and doomed to fail after 10 years or so then relationships in other cultures and other times must have been based on something different. The divorce rate itself suggests our way of thinking about things isn't working out. Our concept of romantic love seems to start with high expectations and slowly crash lands to it's opposite. Maybe a relationship that starts with a transaction grows with friendship into something more like our idea of love and better than our experience.

Well, yes - it's literally transactional, you actually buy them. If they could come to the UK themselves, with  in demand skills - they wouldn't need you to do it either so when they arrive, if they arrive, they are hardly going to get a job and be equal contributors to the household are they? They'll also feel debt, a real financial debt to you and feel obligated to perform in certain ways to you, housework and sex comes to mind.

As for the divorce rate - I feel a much large topic coming on about this because the divorce rate isn't going up because "Uppity women want more" - it's going up because people are unhappy with their lot in life - that might be because of social media, because of unfair cultural expectations, unrealistic portrayals in the media, lack of real concrete conflict resolution in schools or probably - all of them.

The fault is not with 'Women" however much we may detest our individual ex partners (or not, I've moved on). The fault is with the system

(09-19-2018, 01:50 PM)beehive84 Wrote: In today's world of having to be politically correct though I'll bite my tongue on what those reasons are.
To clarify it's nothing to do with me being some chauvinist 1950's throwback.

Nobody is forcing you to be politically correct. You can share your opinions, whatever they are, if you back them up with good arguments, politely, however!
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#13
https://www.maciejdakowicz.com/cardiff-after-dark/

This is a collection of photos taken by a Polish photographer of Cardiff after dark a few years back...

Nowadays i tend not to get into the city centre of an evening as much, but if I ever do it pretty much looks like that...
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#14
(09-19-2018, 02:21 PM)Living Bate Wrote: https://www.maciejdakowicz.com/cardiff-after-dark/

This is a collection of photos taken by a Polish photographer of Cardiff after dark a few years back...

Nowadays i tend not to get into the city centre of an evening as much, but if I ever do it pretty much looks like that...

Looks like a load of people having consensual fun to me - and nothing I haven't seen in Berlin or Prague either!
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#15
(09-19-2018, 02:21 PM)Living Bate Wrote: https://www.maciejdakowicz.com/cardiff-after-dark/

This is a collection of photos taken by a Polish photographer of Cardiff after dark a few years back...

Nowadays i tend not to get into the city centre of an evening as much, but if I ever do it pretty much looks like that...

(09-19-2018, 02:25 PM)Tamagoto Wrote:
(09-19-2018, 02:21 PM)Living Bate Wrote: https://www.maciejdakowicz.com/cardiff-after-dark/

This is a collection of photos taken by a Polish photographer of Cardiff after dark a few years back...

Nowadays i tend not to get into the city centre of an evening as much, but if I ever do it pretty much looks like that...

Looks like a load of people having consensual fun to me - and nothing I haven't seen in Berlin or Prague either!

I've partied pretty hard in East European cities and never seen anything close to what I've seen in an average Uk city. 
The police rule with an iron fist. 

If it's a stag party district the police will tolerate it to a point but the locals avoid it.
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#16
But either way - so what? People having fun - big whoop. You don't *have* to go to those parts of town, they aren't the only women available!
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#17
Much of the UK is a cultural wasteland, especially in our cities after dark. Having partying hard for three decades across Europe I can confirm that when I see pissed up people getting out of hand in Berlin, Munich and Prague, they are usually British. When I've been partying in Ljubljana, Soest, Torun, Split, Madrid, Stockholm etc etc there are fewer Brits, strangely enough there is a better vibe... its a pleasure.

I live in a party city (Newcastle) and still go out and although its getting better now, its still rough. Strangely when I go out in London or Brighton it feels more.... responsible.
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#18
Well it goes back to the main thrust of this thread. Essentially he's asking about dating non British women.

My main point is culturally the British are extremely lacking comparatively to Europeans. I've been guilty of the samething.

From my own experience culturally the average way British people interact with each other is very limited. Essentially much of it gravitates around alcohol in a city or town centre on a weekend. Yes you don't *have* to go there but undeniably it's the the dominant British past time until you get past the age of 35.
The independent recently stated that British women are now the top drinkers in the world

https://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/ho...06856.html

Yes on continent they do similar but it is not the be all and end all we British make it out to be.

Getting onto the female aspect take the average female in my old Romanian office. Their past times included regular dancing groups, playing squash, going on hiking weekends, keep fit classes, visiting their home villages for get togethers, regular road trips around Europe, etc. I've never once worked in a UK office and found anything remotely like that.

Without a shadow of a doubt they have a better rounded lifestyle culturally than the British do and it becomes more obvious the older they get. This is where I think many British women struggle in later life, they find it harder than men to find social events because they grew up with a very limited cultural experience in the first place. They then become unhappy and tend to blame their partner for their own unhappiness.

This is also where I fall down on online dating.

What I used to find was I was meeting people who weren't really happy with their life and were trying to find someone to be happy.
They may be good for meaningless sex but relationship wise it's already doomed for failure.
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#19
I think there might be some crossed wires. I have been thinking of mail order brides as being something more like an arranged marriage not some kind of white slavery. In other words a relationship that starts with an agreement and none of the baggage of romantic concepts. Isn't it a fact that marriages by arrangement have worked successfully throughout history? If there is any implicit criticism it's not of women but of unrealistic expectations and the online dating scene. Maybe it's unrealistic: it's not something I have looked into. That's why I asked.
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#20
I think that there isn’t a perfect girl out there for anyone. If you meet someone, enjoy each other’s company and then both work at it, especially during the tough times, then the rest should come, regardless of where she is from. And if that initial meeting is through an agency tor overseas women looking for a western lifestyle then fair enough, as long as you are prepared to work at it.

The chances are that if you source this woman abroad, she will have given up her lifestyle, home and family. All you give up is the money to get her to marry her. So it has to be a serious commitment on your part.

My great concern with such marriages is that the man retains all the control, the woman is like his asset and, when he’s bored, he just gets another one for a few more thousand quid.
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