Final Order. I can not see my children :(

[ashkhan]

Hello guys

My final order came in Dec18 however I was not feeling well as I broke both of my hands in November and I did not have any solicitor .
I remember leaving the court the court cussing at the judge.

Long story short I was accused of rape in marriage and domestic violence that the judge said is proved .

I can not see my children until I admit the rape and domestic violence and go on some kind of course before I can see the children.

The problem is if I admit the rape charges then there is a police investigation waiting in line they would charge me for rape in marriage.

I am now pulling my hair. I went to three solicitors to appeal against the order but they said it is too late i.e. more than 3 months now and also there are no grounds for appeal. and they feel sorry for me to be in this situation about police in waiting..

My ground for appeal are that
I was not feeling well when I attended the courts and was heavily under the morphine medication.
I was not given the opportunity to cross examine my wife directly as she was behind screen and I had to write questions to the judge only.
I want to bring a solicitor now to cross examine her lies as I was not even in the country for the time I was accused of rape.
it is unfair to make me admit the rape charges before I can see my children.

Anyone in situation please share your experience and what are my options.

In my defence I loved my wife of 16 years we also had good relationship. it is only when I caught her cheating she changed and started to accuse me of rape and domestic violence and made police reports in my absence to leave a track. just to get full custody of the children.. I just can't believe my life have changed suddenly because of her actions my children 10&8 are suffering. I have not seen them for over a year now.

Thanks

[warwickshire1]

You havent been asked to admit to anything. they have decided that facts are proven against you.
All you have to do is attend the course as requested by courts in order to see your children again.
There is no point wasting your time and thousands of pounds appealing and returning to court and highly likely been told the same again. Do the course i am afraid its the only way, it doesnt mean u are admitting to anything , you are doing what it is required to see your children.

[ashkhan]

thank you but I went to 2 solicitors and one barrister they all said we feel sorry for you but if I do the course it means I admit the facts and then the police will have reason to charge me. it has been two years since police report was made against me  and I am still on bail. they have nothing to charges me with just keeping me in limbo..

I don't car about anything anymore I will do anything to get access to the children but I will never admit to something criminal  I never did.
Just want to make sure about my next step. feeling hopeless and suicidal.  

[warwickshire1]

you are not admitting to anything. you are attending the course you say as you need to complete course to see your children.
domestic violence is little things like shouting/ sending a few too many texts to extreme stuff. only seems to be blokes that get in trouble for it and accused of it. but no course no kids, so u have no choice to do it

[ashkhan]

(09-30-2018, 11:30 AM)warwickshire1 Wrote: you are not admitting to anything. you are attending the course you say as you need to complete course to see your children.
domestic violence is little things like shouting/ sending a few too many texts to extreme stuff. only seems to be blokes that get in trouble for it and accused of it. but no course no kids, so u have no choice to do it

Thanks for your comments. you are right no harm in doing the course. 

Just an extra question i believe is related...
Do you know how long is the course and what happens?

[warwickshire1]

I would guess its a few months long and you are in a room with a group of people and get taught what not to do etc.
There will be many others that dont want to be there either for sure

[ashkhan]

(10-01-2018, 09:46 AM)warwickshire1 Wrote: I would guess its a few months long and you are in a room with a group of people and get taught what not to do etc.
There will be many others that dont want to be there either for sure

sure..

it is 30 months course..

[warwickshire1]

30 months, thats insane. surely you will get contact before 30 months. whats the course called ?

[SF79]

I was told to admit what the court had said was proven in fact finding. In fact, on a number of occasions I was told this. I didn't because it wasn't true and I'm now on a course and on the way to seeing my kids.

After two years of experiencing the family court, I believe it is not fit for purpose and is totally discriminatory towards men.

[ashkhan]

(10-03-2018, 07:42 PM)warwickshire1 Wrote: 30 months, thats insane. surely you will get contact before 30 months. whats the course called ?

I am sorry my bad. it was typo. 30 weeks i.e about 7 months. the course is called DVPP, Domestic violence perpetrator program by Arch.

I was told by someone I should call Victim Support instead and their programs are quick. Don't know what does it means by I have called them too see what happens.

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(10-05-2018, 07:41 PM)SF79 Wrote: After two years of experiencing the family court, I believe it is not fit for purpose and is totally discriminatory towards men.

I agree. I experienced it myself as I was self litigating. 
Funnily enough From start till the end there was no one man in the process but all the bitter feminists social workers, school head teacher, solicitors, the police and worse of it all the whole bloody court including the ushers I had to deal with and they won. There should be atleast one dick in court for equality and moral support