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Financial Settlement Worries
#1
Hi All
 
New bloke here.....and probably going to vent!!.....a bit of background...
 
My ex decided that it was over dec 17. I have 2 girls (9 & 5) and a 4 bed place. I work abroad on a 9/4 week rotation and my earnings are approx £6K monthly average. My ex works 16 hours and gets some assistance with benefits. We went to mediation and agreed to the following.....
 
Monthly payments £2.6K per month. This is split between CSA payments and marital spouse payments. The marital spouse will continue for the next 5 years or when the ex has someone new move in etc. The payments cover mortgage, car payment and all utilities as well as leaving some spare cash. I have never missed a payment. I moved out of the FMH and when i return to the UK i pay approx £2.1K for a static home and a hire care so I am able to see my girls and they can stay with me. 
 
Ex has the house and I keep my pension CETV £340K. I am ex mil so I receive approx £850 per month as a payment.
 
I keep my long term savings (due to mature 2020) and valued at £9K and my current savings, ISA, approx £18K. This was to give me the ability to get a deposit together for a 2/3 bed place to have something stable for the girls.
 
I pay approx £400 per month for my daughters dance lessons.
 
My ex retains £5K in savings and we have ring fenced £10K for repairs to the house and solicitors fees.......which I am paying. Any of the money left over from the 10K will go to my ex.

I do pay for school trips, clothes, presents etc etc which is not included....

As mentioned we agreed to this financial settlement and I fully understand that my ex does not have the same capacity to earn and save like myself. And I am liable to pay my fair share. However since she got a solicitor involved the settlement is growing arms and legs. My ex text me to say that her solicitor now wants my pension and savings?! She has said no but the pressure being applied is rediclious.  I then receive another message that the solicitor wants me to pay up front for the remainder of the car costs approx £10 - 15K as part of the settlement.
 
I keep saying that we had agreed on the finances at an early stage and that whilst I do earn good money I do have nothing especially if my pension and savings go.....I have no car and am homeless at the moment as I do not have the savings to put a deposit down on a house.....How it is going and having read some articles on various websites from dads and professional legal advisors I am terrified that if I am made redundant anytime soon I could be on the streets....and there is little I can do as my ex has everything……
 
As mentioned I am currently working abroad and I have contacted a solicitor for advice as I have never felt as powerless as I do now. I want a fair settlement that allows both of us to move on with our lives and not have too much of an impact on our girls. Like many on here emotionally I am having a tough time and am in a very dark place. I feel as both my ex and her solicitor are using me as a cash cow as she knows my girls are my world and I will sacrifice my happiness for their well being. I am seriously considering resigning from my job and will be better off returning to the UK…..I just wondered if anyone has been in a similar situation?
 
Thanks for reading the ramblings of a tired and drained average bloke…….
 
 
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#2
You can ignore her demands for the moment - the agreement you reached in mediation is not legally binding (??)
You could in theory stop all payments apart from the Child Support and the mortgage.
Now that she's on her own she's entitled to a lot of benefits - have these been factored in.

Goes without saying I would engage a solicitor properly on this.
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#3
(09-27-2018, 04:01 PM)watsa64 Wrote: You can ignore her demands for the moment - the agreement you reached in mediation is not legally binding (??)
You could in theory stop all payments apart from the Child Support and the mortgage.
Now that she's on her own she's entitled to a lot of benefits - have these been factored in.

Goes without saying I would engage a solicitor properly on this.

thanks for the reply.....

I am ignoring her as its exhausting being away and trying to second guess everything....

I have my moment of clarity and started to look and our original mediated agreement in a different way....yes its not legally binding but it was a great help and sets the building blocks for future agreements. These extra demands are achievable but at a compromise on her part.....i.e. downsize, use the equity for savings, increase hours at work although this will effect her benefits......and accept a change in lifestyle like I have had too..... 

The only winner here is the solicitor although I would like to read their code of conduct given the amount of pressure being applied....
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