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Divorce
#1
Ok, so i don't really know hardly anything about divorce. None of my immediate family have any experience with it and I also don't have any friends that have been through it.

I've had my Divorce Petition drafted up by my solicitor, and next week I plan on paying the £550 fees and getting it rolling. 

Just wondering, if she doesn't accept fault for unreasonable behaviour, what would happen next?

Does she have to pay £550 to issue her own petition? or can she just respond to mine?

If she comes back to me blaming me for unreasonable behaviour I understand if I want to just get divorced I am better off just accepting the blame.
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#2
(09-28-2018, 08:13 AM)Living Bate Wrote:

Just wondering, if she doesn't accept fault for unreasonable behaviour, what would happen next?

Does she have to pay £550 to issue her own petition? or can she just respond to mine?

If she comes back to me blaming me for unreasonable behaviour I understand if I want to just get divorced I am better off just accepting the blame.

Well this is exactly my situation a month ago. I went ahead and submitted the petition without telling her ( she had non-mol on me anyway). 

There are 2 likely scenarios if she doesn't accept fault for unreasonable behaviour a) She can state she doesn't accept the allegation HOWEVER on the acknowledgement form she can answer 'NO' to the question 'do you intend to defend the case'. This option is sensible and cheaper one ! 
b) She can cross-petition if her ego comes in the way you being the petitioner ! in this case, either one party back tracks OR if both the parties can't budge then it might end up in court as to whose petition should be allowed and therefore acrimony and money ! 

I think you have already stated you are prepared for the 2nd, however note that you DON'T HAVE TO accept the blame. 

In my case I didn't press for court cost to be split with my ex, as a bargain for her not to cross petition, which kind of worked for me. Good luck.
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#3
Sean thanks for your reply...

Just to clarify; if she wants to cross-petition can she do that for free on the back of my £550? or will it cost her to do that?

If she comes back at me i'm just going to take it. I just want to get this all cleared up so we can move on.
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#4
(09-28-2018, 08:33 AM)Living Bate Wrote: Just to clarify; if she wants to cross-petition can she do that for free on the back of my £550? or will it cost her to do that?

If she comes back at me i'm just going to take it. I just want to get this all cleared up so we can move on.

IF she wants to cross petition, yes it is treated as fresh divorce petition and therefore all the court costs as well. Yes it will cost her the same. Note, She could also ask the court to split the cost with you, which means not only you have paid 550 for your petition, and then have to pay for half of hers too. In my case I was ready for this anyway, like as you said, I just wanted to get the ball rolling towards closure anyhow.
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#5
If she can ask the court to split the cost can I just ask that too?
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#6
(09-28-2018, 08:58 AM)Living Bate Wrote: If she can ask the court to split the cost can I just ask that too?

yes absolutely. 
She then retains the option of agreeing to split the cost, or object to paying the cost in which case she has to provide the ground for objecting and ask for a hearing just to settle the costs. 

Some of my research says it would be better for one person to pay up the costs, especially in cases where emotions are still raw to avoid introducing time delays in regards to divorce proceedings.
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#7
(09-28-2018, 09:32 AM)SeanS Wrote: Some of my research says it would be better for one person to pay up the costs, especially in cases where emotions are still raw to avoid introducing time delays in regards to divorce proceedings.

Yes that is how i'm currently seeing it. I'm prepared to pay the full £550 just to get this thing into action. But I'll be less pleased if she wants to cross petition and expects me to pay another £225 to cover that!

As an aside I find it really weird right now seeing her still using my surname, and posting with it on social media etc. and at the same time she's treating me like shit...

I know it is currently her name, its just a strange thing that i've never experienced before...
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#8
(09-28-2018, 09:42 AM)Living Bate Wrote: yes know the feeling...there is a good chance whoever first files the petition is the one that will be taken up as official, so it is worth going solo. 

As for the name, I'm sure you already know you both are officially married (and all the perks and pains that come with it ) until the final decree absolute has been issued which is really the final curtain on the marriage. For lot of different reasons people would look at changing their names only after decree absolute has been issued, not least you need the court papers to change names on passport for example. Not trying to kid, but you haven't applied for the petition so you are in the early days Smile
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#9
To be honest the divorce reason, in this case "unreasonable behaviour" is neither here nor there and it is just a tick box exercise to actually get divorced but it is so much easier if you both agree.

Although my ex committed adultery i paid the court costs but this was to ensure a smooth transition but i also factored this in to the settlement to ensure i wasn't loosing out.

My ex also now, 3 years on and after a divorce still has my surname !! Not sure why but i'd rather she did't but not a lot i can do about it. Her social media surname is her maiden name so go figure !! But she is as thick as two short planks so i gave up trying to understand her long time ago
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