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At my wits end
#1
My ex wife (seperated in June 18) has now met a new "friend" as she call him but wont give me any details about him or even his name.  This "friend has now been out on day trips with my 2 children and yet she wont divulge any information.  

I have confronted her about this and all i get is he's just a friend, not any of your business and the obvious blocking me on all messaging platforms.  I have told her that i dont care that if she is with someone else but this man is getting access to my children and i dont have a clue who he is.

To top it all off, they were out for the day on Saturday and when i left work at 10pm i thought i would just take a drive by the house to see if they were back which they werent.  i then messaged the x asking about seeing them yesterday and just casually asked what time they had got back in to which she replied just after 7.  This lying is now getting to the stage i dont believe a word she says.

When i was over yesterday (8am) it was obvious that she had been coaching my eldest on what not to say!! however kids being kids he said he had already been dressed yesterday morning to which she ran in and said stop talking nonsence.

i would like us to remain amicable as she has never questioned my seeing off the kids but i cant put up with the lies and torment of not knowing who this other bloke is.

Anyway sorry for chuntering but just at my wits end over what to do.  Is there anything (legally) i can do to find out who he is

Thanks
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#2
Im afraid theres nothing you can really do. Where you havent been apart very long it can be really frustrating/upsetting.
However if you carry on questioning your ex and asking questions and driving past late at night you run the risk of her potentially stopping you seeing your children and even harrasement phone calls to police.

Its very hard putting your emotions to one side but whats important in the long run is that you see your children regular set times and dates and try and forget what your ex is doing as hard as i know that will be. as long as you see your children regular and often and they are happy things will improve for you slowly but surely . you certainly dont want your ex denying access to children if you are both arguing etc
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#3
It's a hard pill to swallow but unfortunately you have no say in who the ex introduces to your kids in her time with them. That also is the case if you want to introduce someone to them in your time.

Even if you end up finding out the guy is a scumbag, drug dealer or something similar, unless you can prove the children are in danger then you will just have to grin and bear it.
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#4
As far as I'm aware there's nothing you can 'legally' do to find out who this guy is, but I'll tell you this for free, and you already know it. He's not just a 'friend'.

She's entitled to see whoever she wants, no matter how much as you don't like it.

My STBX has been seeing someone for a good month at least now, I've no idea who he is, don't know if he's met the kids, don't know anything other than he's called 'Nick' (according to my daughter who says my STBX spends hours a day on the phone to him while ignoring the kids).

I don't particularly like the thought of him meeting my kids but it'll happen sooner or later if it hasn't happened already. I'm not naive to it, and my STBX is smug as hell as she thinks I split from my GF recently. I'm letting her have her moment of smugness as we're back together and better than ever at the moment. I'll not be letting on till we have the house sorted out as she turned into a nutjob when I was with my GF, and oddly enough was more agreeable when she found out we'd split (the part where she literally laughed on my face about it told me that much)
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