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The importance of distance from children
#1
Hello, everyone,

This is my first post here. I won't bore you with a long back story, but a few years ago I had a son with my then girlfriend (we were/are not married) who I'd moved out of London into the home counties for. We separated when my son was around one, in what was a very hard situation, however this followed months of physical and emotional abuse, abuse towards my family etc etc. Following our separation I moved in with family down the road, and there followed a huge battle to see my son regularly, repeated false accusations from my ex about child abuse, threats of court, and demands for extortionate amounts of money . - I take it from reading the threads here that this sort of thing is quite common.

Anyway, three years on, and following a court order, all is a lot more manageable, although I still have to put up with some nonsense from time-to-time. (Bit of advice, don't shy away from being assertive when you need to, always verify claims and stick to the CMA payments and court orders rigidly - it makes things much easier ).

I bought a house outside London just over a year ago, however, now things have settled down I am thinking of moving back in, as I feel I gave a lot away when I decided to trust my ex. I feel that it is not all that good mentally to be just 20 mins drive away from my son when I only see him every other weekend most of the time (I would be an hour away if I moved back to North-West London). Furthermore, my ex has stated that she will move to another location if it is in her interests to do so.

Has anyone had a similar experience and has anyone got any advice?

This is absolutely NOT a sob story by the way, I have things pretty good, and it is a huge objective of mine to be an amazing Dad; I'd just like my own life back also.

Advice greatly appreciated from those more experienced than myself.

Thank you.
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#2
(10-04-2018, 04:32 PM)Albion Wrote: Hello, everyone,

This is my first post here. I won't bore you with a long back story, but a few years ago I had a son with my then girlfriend (we were/are not married) who I'd moved out of London into the home counties for. We separated when my son was around one, in what was a very hard situation, however this followed months of physical and emotional abuse, abuse towards my family etc etc. Following our separation I moved in with family down the road, and there followed a huge battle to see my son regularly, repeated false accusations from my ex about child abuse, threats of court, and demands for extortionate amounts of money . - I take it from reading the threads here that this sort of thing is quite common.

Anyway, three years on, and following a court order, all is a lot more manageable, although I still have to put up with some nonsense from time-to-time. (Bit of advice, don't shy away from being assertive when you need to, always verify claims and stick to the CMA payments and court orders rigidly - it makes things much easier ).

I bought a house outside London just over a year ago, however, now things have settled down I am thinking of moving back in, as I feel I gave a lot away when I decided to trust my ex. I feel that it is not all that good mentally to be just 20 mins drive away from my son when I only see him every other weekend most of the time (I would be an hour away if I moved back to North-West London). Furthermore, my ex has stated that she will move to another location if it is in her interests to do so.

Has anyone had a similar experience and has anyone got any advice?

This is absolutely NOT a sob story by the way, I have things pretty good, and it is a huge objective of mine to be an amazing Dad; I'd just like my own life back also.

Advice greatly appreciated from those more experienced than myself.

Thank you.

I would look at this purely from a practicable point of view, being closer to your son means it's easier to pick him up. When he is older it will also be easier for him to come to you as and when (providing either of you don't move away).

The situation is what it is, being 20 mins or 2 hours away to my mind does not make one jot of a difference and I certainly know which choice I would go for, the logistically easier one!
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