Thread Rating:
  • 0 Vote(s) - 0 Average
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
Mediation failed - court monday
Got court Monday after failed mediation. :-( Below is a brief (honest!) summary...

She left when babies were 1 month old, they’re now 3 years old. Went through 2 years of interim contact, meeting at parks, cafes etc. Twice during this period attempted mediation but other side wouldn’t attend and stopped all contact whilst she decided if she wanted to attend. Ended up applying to court and had hearing start of this year. Court ordered mediation… Have now been having contact one day at weekend and finishing work early one day in week but no overnight stays.

2nd Mediation in May we agreed to try overnight during summer holidays. I approached other party twice about this during holidays but got nowhere. In the meantime I’ve been postponing court dates as don’t want final order signed off until overnights agreed. Court have said they can’t keep postponing so final hearing on Monday!

Attempted another mediation yesterday to try and agree a plan to take to court but other party wasn’t interested and had a bit of a breakdown. She was unable to give any reasons as to why overnight stays were not possible other than to quote “they are my children and I know what’s best for them”. The mediator corrected her on the “my” children part. However it was clear from that comment and others that she sees herself as the only parent and there is no other family.

I have 2 other children that live with me (their mum died from Leukamia when they were younger), I made a reference to my older daughter being an older sister and able to help in the night (as they are sharing a room) should the girls need toilet etc and other party’s immediate reply was “She’s not their sister”.

She also would not have any input into plan moving forward and said go to court but she knows from experience if she doesn’t stick to the court order there would be no repercussions anyway and it would make our relationship as parents worse. Basically either I have overnights when she says, in which case we can get along or I go ahead with court and she won’t get along. Then she walked out.

Aside from what happened at mediation she does thing at school (her other children and mine go to same school) like turn the girls away from my older children if we see each other at school and has told me my mum is not allowed to look after them.

My original plan I put to the court at the start of the year was to build up to overnight stays, have a period of say once a week then move to long weekends with me having Friday to Sunday every other weekend and once in the week and even longer term to have equal custody.

My concerns following what happened at mediation yesterday are that there is some sort of mental block and she doesn’t see that the girls have 2 families who want to give them love and support. Any sort of court order being forced upon her is going to make her even more hostile and can only be more psychology damaging for all involved. 

She also did similar to previous partner/children and lied about it at mediation yesterday. She said her previous partner waited until the children were old enough and ready for sleepovers. I know from being with her at times he was messaging her she was replying to tell him he couldn’t see his children because they were already busy that weekend etc. He just gave up for a couple of years until her child maintenance agreement changed then she started letting him see them.

The mediator has said she is not allowed to feed back to court anything that happened or was said yesterday, other than we couldn’t reach agreement, and it’s up to me to give details. If I feedback to the court it will look like I’m just doing some sort of character assassination. Guess I just need to be careful how I word it as I am genuinely concerned of potential issues and psychological issues with the girls bearing in mind what was said at mediation.

Is this normal that court ordered mediators cant feedback t courts even if there are potential issues? This seems crazy as the court ordered the mediation, I’ve had to pay £171 a session plus time off work, surely the mediator should have some sort of feedback for the court?

Is there anything the court can do if there is a concern? Would they offer her some counselling?

Thank you.

Possibly Related Threads...
Thread Author Replies Views Last Post
  Training Day on Monday? andynumpty 7 6,046 11-04-2019, 11:08 AM
Last Post: Naive
  her solicitor failed to exchange final statement nandop 6 6,355 06-28-2018, 05:28 PM
Last Post: warwickshire1
  child arrangements - mediation failed, what next? lostsoul 17 16,755 04-05-2018, 08:54 PM
Last Post: lostsoul
  Mediation court no homes Rjc 10 13,200 02-08-2018, 09:04 AM
Last Post: Rjc
  Is mediation a must to extend visits of existing Court Order? Alibash 3 4,865 01-05-2018, 08:28 PM
Last Post: Charlie7000
  Court ordered mediation? Charlie7000 2 3,917 12-07-2017, 11:21 PM
Last Post: Charlie7000
  Advice needed on court after mediation? j1801 11 15,958 04-10-2017, 09:32 AM
Last Post: mcnl

Users browsing this thread: 1 Guest(s)