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Mother moving away
#1
First post, I just don't know where to ask about this, maybe folks here have some advice...

I have a son (6), I have parental responsibility, there's a contact order and he sees me for 5 nights per fortnight (including one per week). It's going relatively OK, except...

His mother has tried at every step to prevent / limit his contact, has never won anything. She's moved house twice since he was born (she's in local authority housing, so this hasn't been because of unsecure tenancies, it's been her choice each time). Now she's moving away again and won't tell me where (I believe she's made false allegations of abuse against me but I don't know how to challenge this, or even if I can)

I've got a strong track record of involvement, positive parenting and no complaints against me from anywhere. I'm basically a good dad, who's worked hard to get court orders in place with no help from a lawyer. But his mum hates that he sees me, hates that he loves me, refuses to communicate or accept she's in any way answerable to me. She treats the boy so badly that he cries when he sees me and calls her mean and rude and says she doesn't love him.

I see her moving away as the latest in a long line of attempts to block his contact with me, as no other strategy has worked for her. She's moving so far away that he's talking about going to a new school (and I know changing schools is pretty bad for kids) and I want to know what, if anything, I can or should do.

1. Can I prevent him from changing schools? The school he goes to now is excellent.
2. Can I apply for a residence order / primary carer status? What does this involve, beyond the C100?
3. Is there a way to get Legal Aid? So far I see that being a victim of her abuse might make me eligible, but I don't know how to begin this process.

I think I may have more questions, but I've outgrown the CAB and so far have got 3 court orders all by myself. The problem is that she ignores them and acts as if she can do whatever she wants - plus as I mentioned, I believe she's alleged abuse at some point, but nothing concrete has ever been presented to me (and obviously I've never behaved abusively, in fact I can prove that she has .. if anyone cares to ask for that proof, which they do not)

That's it. Please feel free to ask more questions if anything needs clarifying. For info, I live in Bristol.
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#2
Number 2 and Number 3 you wont be able to do . I do believe you can possibly put a stop to your son just moving and changing schools. I think someone will pop along and tell you what that is .
I think its a prohibited steps order i believe to stop your son moving schools and possibly house as you have PR and a court order she should follow and she is doing this to stop your son having a loving relationship with his father
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#3
(10-18-2018, 07:47 PM)mojo Wrote: First post, I just don't know where to ask about this, maybe folks here have some advice...

I have a son (6), I have parental responsibility, there's a contact order and he sees me for 5 nights per fortnight (including one per week). It's going relatively OK, except...

His mother has tried at every step to prevent / limit his contact, has never won anything. She's moved house twice since he was born (she's in local authority housing, so this hasn't been because of unsecure tenancies, it's been her choice each time). Now she's moving away again and won't tell me where (I believe she's made false allegations of abuse against me but I don't know how to challenge this, or even if I can)

I've got a strong track record of involvement, positive parenting and no complaints against me from anywhere. I'm basically a good dad, who's worked hard to get court orders in place with no help from a lawyer. But his mum hates that he sees me, hates that he loves me, refuses to communicate or accept she's in any way answerable to me. She treats the boy so badly that he cries when he sees me and calls her mean and rude and says she doesn't love him.

I see her moving away as the latest in a long line of attempts to block his contact with me, as no other strategy has worked for her. She's moving so far away that he's talking about going to a new school (and I know changing schools is pretty bad for kids) and I want to know what, if anything, I can or should do.

1. Can I prevent him from changing schools? The school he goes to now is excellent.
2. Can I apply for a residence order / primary carer status? What does this involve, beyond the C100?
3. Is there a way to get Legal Aid? So far I see that being a victim of her abuse might make me eligible, but I don't know how to begin this process.

I think I may have more questions, but I've outgrown the CAB and so far have got 3 court orders all by myself. The problem is that she ignores them and acts as if she can do whatever she wants - plus as I mentioned, I believe she's alleged abuse at some point, but nothing concrete has ever been presented to me (and obviously I've never behaved abusively, in fact I can prove that she has .. if anyone cares to ask for that proof, which they do not)

That's it. Please feel free to ask more questions if anything needs clarifying. For info, I live in Bristol.

a, Make an application to Court on a C100, for a Prohibitted Steps Order, preventing the relocation of the child over 15 miles, stating it would make existing Child Arrangements not workable.

b, The next time the Court Order is not followed, file a C79 to enforce it. She will get a warning, fine or made to do unpaid work.
Posts made by me are my opinion and any factual information should be checked out. If you do not have a Solicitor, often your local CAB can get you some initial advice.
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#4
(10-19-2018, 06:27 AM)MarkR Wrote:
(10-18-2018, 07:47 PM)mojo Wrote: First post, I just don't know where to ask about this, maybe folks here have some advice...

I have a son (6), I have parental responsibility, there's a contact order and he sees me for 5 nights per fortnight (including one per week). It's going relatively OK, except...

His mother has tried at every step to prevent / limit his contact, has never won anything. She's moved house twice since he was born (she's in local authority housing, so this hasn't been because of unsecure tenancies, it's been her choice each time). Now she's moving away again and won't tell me where (I believe she's made false allegations of abuse against me but I don't know how to challenge this, or even if I can)

I've got a strong track record of involvement, positive parenting and no complaints against me from anywhere. I'm basically a good dad, who's worked hard to get court orders in place with no help from a lawyer. But his mum hates that he sees me, hates that he loves me, refuses to communicate or accept she's in any way answerable to me. She treats the boy so badly that he cries when he sees me and calls her mean and rude and says she doesn't love him.

I see her moving away as the latest in a long line of attempts to block his contact with me, as no other strategy has worked for her. She's moving so far away that he's talking about going to a new school (and I know changing schools is pretty bad for kids) and I want to know what, if anything, I can or should do.

1. Can I prevent him from changing schools? The school he goes to now is excellent.
2. Can I apply for a residence order / primary carer status? What does this involve, beyond the C100?
3. Is there a way to get Legal Aid? So far I see that being a victim of her abuse might make me eligible, but I don't know how to begin this process.

I think I may have more questions, but I've outgrown the CAB and so far have got 3 court orders all by myself. The problem is that she ignores them and acts as if she can do whatever she wants - plus as I mentioned, I believe she's alleged abuse at some point, but nothing concrete has ever been presented to me (and obviously I've never behaved abusively, in fact I can prove that she has .. if anyone cares to ask for that proof, which they do not)

That's it. Please feel free to ask more questions if anything needs clarifying. For info, I live in Bristol.

a, Make an application to Court on a C100, for a Prohibitted Steps Order, preventing the relocation of the child over 15 miles, stating it would make existing Child Arrangements not workable.

b, The next time the Court Order is not followed, file a C79 to enforce it. She will get a warning, fine or made to do unpaid work.

Thank you for this. I'll get started. I'm speaking to the mediators I always use to get a date for an interview so they can sign off the C100.

Since she's moving so far away, I suppose I may be able to apply for a residence order so that he can continue at the same school. Her moving has already happened, I only found out yesterday.

Good to know there's a distance limit (15 miles). I'm pretty sure she's gone further away than that.
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#5
(10-19-2018, 09:47 AM)mojo Wrote:
(10-19-2018, 06:27 AM)MarkR Wrote:
(10-18-2018, 07:47 PM)mojo Wrote: First post, I just don't know where to ask about this, maybe folks here have some advice...

I have a son (6), I have parental responsibility, there's a contact order and he sees me for 5 nights per fortnight (including one per week). It's going relatively OK, except...

His mother has tried at every step to prevent / limit his contact, has never won anything. She's moved house twice since he was born (she's in local authority housing, so this hasn't been because of unsecure tenancies, it's been her choice each time). Now she's moving away again and won't tell me where (I believe she's made false allegations of abuse against me but I don't know how to challenge this, or even if I can)

I've got a strong track record of involvement, positive parenting and no complaints against me from anywhere. I'm basically a good dad, who's worked hard to get court orders in place with no help from a lawyer. But his mum hates that he sees me, hates that he loves me, refuses to communicate or accept she's in any way answerable to me. She treats the boy so badly that he cries when he sees me and calls her mean and rude and says she doesn't love him.

I see her moving away as the latest in a long line of attempts to block his contact with me, as no other strategy has worked for her. She's moving so far away that he's talking about going to a new school (and I know changing schools is pretty bad for kids) and I want to know what, if anything, I can or should do.

1. Can I prevent him from changing schools? The school he goes to now is excellent.
2. Can I apply for a residence order / primary carer status? What does this involve, beyond the C100?
3. Is there a way to get Legal Aid? So far I see that being a victim of her abuse might make me eligible, but I don't know how to begin this process.

I think I may have more questions, but I've outgrown the CAB and so far have got 3 court orders all by myself. The problem is that she ignores them and acts as if she can do whatever she wants - plus as I mentioned, I believe she's alleged abuse at some point, but nothing concrete has ever been presented to me (and obviously I've never behaved abusively, in fact I can prove that she has .. if anyone cares to ask for that proof, which they do not)

That's it. Please feel free to ask more questions if anything needs clarifying. For info, I live in Bristol.

a, Make an application to Court on a C100, for a Prohibitted Steps Order, preventing the relocation of the child over 15 miles, stating it would make existing Child Arrangements not workable.

b, The next time the Court Order is not followed, file a C79 to enforce it. She will get a warning, fine or made to do unpaid work.

Thank you for this. I'll get started. I'm speaking to the mediators I always use to get a date for an interview so they can sign off the C100.

Since she's moving so far away, I suppose I may be able to apply for a residence order so that he can continue at the same school. Her moving has already happened, I only found out yesterday.

Good to know there's a distance limit (15 miles). I'm pretty sure she's gone further away than that.

You do not need a C100 signed off to apply for a Prohibited Steps Order.

You also do not need one signed off if a CAO exists, as it has to be an application to vary an existing order you make to change the arrangements.
Posts made by me are my opinion and any factual information should be checked out. If you do not have a Solicitor, often your local CAB can get you some initial advice.
Reply
#6
I've done an initial (C100) application today, did it online at the PSU Personal Support Unit at Bristol (linked for anyone who neeeds help with paperwork and procedure, they're great). They persuaded me to do it sooner not later, and really helped with what to actually apply for. Them being there also made me a lot braver about stating what's happened in the past. I also bypassed the MIAM requirement because it's urgent (though I've already scheduled a mediation meeting to get the form signed off anyway)

I asked for an urgent hearing because I don't know where or when the move is happening. I also included how abusive and obstructive she's been, breaking orders and insulting me to our son, and how this move seems to be just a pretext for preventing contact.

Turns out that if it's already happened or directly imminent when the hearing comes to court, it's possible to have my son placed with me while the school situation is sorted out.

That rule is worth knowing about IMO; looks like the sort of knowledge people pay lawyers a lot of money for.

Thank you for the replies. I'll keep this thread updated as things move forward.
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#7
Just caught up with this. I had something similar earlier this year. A few things I learned:

1) Courts rarely prevent a Mother from moving - it's her human right to live where she wants - but if it can be proved that the move is to disrupt contact and no genuine reason then they can say the Mother can move but not the child. So if she has already moved you'd want to either be asking for residency or shared care (lives with both parents). You're more likely to get the lives with both parents but you'd then be looking at child living with you during the week and with her 3 week-ends out of 4, plus half the holidays each or proportional holidays if it's 50/50.
2) If she's already moved they're not going to tell her to come back. Neither are they likely to move child back to old school if he's already started at another school - but they may do. In that situation you would at least want lives with both parents and a variation of the schedule.

Glad you got some help with the application - get it in on Monday first thing - you may even get a hearing the same day and an interim prohibited steps order (prevents her moving until the next hearing which may only be a week later).

Good luck and let us know how you get on. What did you ask for on your application?
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#8
(10-20-2018, 11:57 PM)Charlie7000 Wrote: Just caught up with this.  I had something similar earlier this year.  A few things I learned:

1)  Courts rarely prevent a Mother from moving - it's her human right to live where she wants - but if it can be proved that the move is to disrupt contact and no genuine reason then they can say the Mother can move but not the child.  So if she has already moved you'd want to either be asking for residency or shared care (lives with both parents). You're more likely to get the lives with both parents but you'd then be looking at child living with you during the week and with her 3 week-ends out of 4, plus half the holidays each or proportional holidays if it's 50/50.
2) If she's already moved they're not going to tell her to come back.  Neither are they likely to move child back to old school if he's already started at another school - but they may do.  In that situation you would at least want lives with both parents and a variation of the schedule.

Glad you got some help with the application - get it in on Monday first thing - you may even get a hearing the same day and an interim prohibited steps order (prevents her moving until the next hearing which may only be a week later).

Good luck and let us know how you get on.  What did you ask for on your application?

Just to pick up on this, it goes on a case by case bases.

In this one, there has already been a contested Child Arrangements Order made.

Due to him getting this contact, they will now prevent relocation unless she shows very good reason why. Its normal to restrict her relocation to 15-20 miles in this situaiton.
Posts made by me are my opinion and any factual information should be checked out. If you do not have a Solicitor, often your local CAB can get you some initial advice.
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#9
I am very sorry to break it to you.

She won't necessarily need to give any good reason at all other than she is the mother. Trust me I have been there and I had 50/50 care, yet she was allowed to move child 150 miles away.

And no they won't give residency to a father.

I hope you get a good judge, then there is a chance.
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#10
(10-21-2018, 04:48 PM)DadDolent Wrote: I am very sorry to break it to you.

She won't necessarily need to give any good reason at all other than she is the mother. Trust me I have been there and I had 50/50 care, yet she was allowed to move child 150 miles away.

And no they won't give residency to a father.

I hope you get a good judge, then there is a chance.

As per my last post on this thead, not all cases are the same.

Where there has been a contested Child Arrangements Order (what has happened in this case), it will be viewed as her obstructing the Order decided by the Court.

Therefore, they will limit the relocation if it makes the order not workable.
Posts made by me are my opinion and any factual information should be checked out. If you do not have a Solicitor, often your local CAB can get you some initial advice.
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