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Ex trying to change my contact arrangement
#1
Hi.
My ex and I have a 12 year old son, 7 years ago she moved him without my consent 13 miles away. Since then we had an agreement that i pick him up from school on Fridays and she picks him up from my house on the way back from work.  the agreement was temporary changed as my son was attending football training and i wasn't having him on the Fridays. Now that he no longer attending his football on Fridays I put in writing to my ex that we going back to original arrangements as he is no longer on his training. unfortunately she is refusing to pick him up from mine and trying to change the arrangements. My current wife and i have a 2month old baby and its important for us that he has as much contact with his sister as possible. 
Can she refuse to pick him up from mine after doing it for 7 years? and can she change our arrangements without court order??
Please help
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#2
Do you have a Child Arrangements Order at the moment?

No - Well sadly she can do what she wants as its agreed between you
Yes - This would be considered a breach of that order and should be enforced.
The opinions here are not that of Separated Dads, but merely a loving father who has been through the process and has come out the other side.
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#3
What contact arrangements do you exactly have at the moment. Cant you drop your son back off at home after contact? how often do you have your son?
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#4
No we dont have it through the court, but the arrangements been agreed at the divorse. I take him for a tea on mon, overnight wed and drop him off at his home on thu morning, me picking him up from school on fri and she was picking him up from mine, then she drops him off on sat for overnight stay and i drop him off at hers on sunday. This arrangement been agreed 7 years ago so i cant understand why can she refuse it now. I have 50/50 custody as well. Maintenance money is agreed between ourselves as well

I make additional 68miles per week to see my son since she took him away without my consent and she agreed to share "fair" traveling cost. Meaning i do 5 trips and she was doing 2
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#5
I think the best thing you can do for now is pay the agreed maintenance as normal. Also its going to look like you may be doing all drop offs now and pick ups. I would at this early stage be asking what contact she will let you have. If this went to court its highly unlikely the current arrangements would remain the same. It would be more than likely every other weekend and possibly 1 day during week where you would pick your son up from school and drop him back off next morning if went to court.

From what i read it may be a possibility she will allow contact to continue if you do all the travelling. if that is the case i would do that as its better than going to court or reduce/change some of it
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#6
My son told me yesterday that he wants to stay an additional night to spend time with his little sis. As he is 12year old now and as she says is old enough to decide where he wants to be she cant really stop him from staying an extra night??
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#7
If your son would like to stay an extra night he would need to discuss this with his mum. Final decision would lay with his mum without any court proceedings being in place. Maybe if you offer to do all pick ups and drop offs contact will all go ahead as normal
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#8
But we have an equal custody so she shouldnt be able to stop that
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#9
You do not have a child arrangements order. She can stop contact anytime she wants , which would lead to you having to go to family court and do mediation etc.
What does go in your favour that normally a child is a few years old and your son is 12.

However from what you wrote i dont think your ex wants to go to family court. I think she just wants you to do all pick ups and drop offs and effectively wants nothing to do with you.
I am guessing having a 2 month old child with your current partner and been mentioned in disputes with your ex partner wouldnt help matters. It would be better if you didnt mention it at all when arranging contact. I could be wrong but imagine if roles were reversed and she was saying this to yourself...if everything was going fine for 7 years and now its suddenly not something has happened recently. Your son is only actually a few years away where he would be able to make his own way to yourself via public transport etc train/coach/bus and be making his own arrangements to see you..
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#10
When you say you have 50/50 custody - was that just an agreement at mediation or was it actually put into a consent order?
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