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Devastated Son Claims Abuse from Mother
#1
I was with the mother of my child for 8 years, I walked in on her in bed with my best mate for the third time... She then walked out the house and told me "I'll be back in the morning for my dog" never mentioned her son her was upstairs in bed... We have been separated for 3.5 years now... I had my son full time after we split up I had him Monday to Friday and she had him weekends... However, I then moved to Glasgow due to work commitments and thought it was in my sons best interest to let him live with his mum as he had started school... My and my son have a bond like no other, he is a mini me, he is without doubt a daddy's boy... He has never had that bond with his mum which is sad... However, I travel back down south most weekends to spend the weekend with my son still... But a couple of weeks ago now, he made an allegation against him mum and her partner and her mum (his nan)... He told me they hit him when he's naughty, his mums partner has dragged him across a carpeted floor to teach him a lesson(which gave him carpet burns) to which I seen myself, his mums partner has also grabbed my sons head digging his finger tips into his head and screaming in his face... My sons behaviour has been effected he is angry all the time and it's not the little boy I know, it breaks my heart, he believes that it's ok to be hit if he is naughty... I confronted him mum and get told that my son is a liar and it's not true... I went back down this weekend just gone and my son told me that they have come up with a rule for him, if he is good they wont hurt him...

I'm absolutely devastated and I feel like my hands are tied... as I know for legal advice etc or to take action this is going to cost me a fortune which I don't have as I have my home in Glasgow I pay for, I pay for a home down south so me and my son still have somewhere to go when I visit, I pay maintenance to him mum, I pay my travel down to visit him for the weekends which costs approx. £250-300 per month...

I know every penny spent on my son and on legal advise etc is worth it as I took a vow the day he was born that I would do everything in my power to love, protect and care for him until my dying day... But I simply don't have that kind of money...

I kills me that I feel powerless and I am failing him as a father and I should be able to protected in... I would love nothing more than to have in Glasgow with me and him live with me again, he says he wants to live with me but him mum wont allow it... She wont even allow me to take him on holiday...

What can I do, is there anyone else in the same or similar situation how can help...

Please, my son is my world and I just want to protect him, he's 6 years old and I didn't bring him into this world to be abused by anyone...

Thank you for your time...
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#2
You are not powerless, you need to report this to the police, so it can be taken seriously. You have previously had custody and no issues but now you do not there is an allegation of Child Abuse.
The opinions here are not that of Separated Dads, but merely a loving father who has been through the process and has come out the other side.
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#3
(11-07-2018, 09:23 AM)invisibleintellectual Wrote: You are not powerless, you need to report this to the police, so it can be taken seriously.  You have previously had custody and no issues but now you do not there is an allegation of Child Abuse.

Thank you, I understand that but I'm scared that if I do this then it could back fire and then she stop me seeing him full stop which would kill me...

She is extremely manipulative, and you uses her emotions on my son which is wrong and breaks my heart, she uses him as a weapon against me all the time...

I feel I need to gather evidence before I can make a huge allegation to the police like this...
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#4
Is there any way you can have your kid live with you?
The opinions here are not that of Separated Dads, but merely a loving father who has been through the process and has come out the other side.
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#5
I agree....this is horrendous and should be reported to the police....
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#6
(11-07-2018, 09:33 AM)invisibleintellectual Wrote: Is there any way you can have your kid live with you?

If she would allow me to have him, I would take him in a heartbeat!!! I have a home, I can work from home, I can get him in a school, I can give him everything he needs... More than anything I can give him a loving, safe home where he can grow and be the child he is...
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#7
OK your child is in England, do a C100 - change of residency citing child protection issues, and the abuse

Step 1) Invite her to Mediation (likely to fail)
Step 2) Get the mediator to sign off 1) as a failure
Step 3) Fill in your C100 as clearly as possible with all facts
Step 4) Keep coming back here for help and assistance
The opinions here are not that of Separated Dads, but merely a loving father who has been through the process and has come out the other side.
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#8
(11-07-2018, 10:10 AM)invisibleintellectual Wrote: OK your child is in England, do a C100 - change of residency citing child protection issues, and the abuse

Step 1) Invite her to Mediation (likely to fail)
Step 2) Get the mediator to sign off 1) as a failure
Step 3) Fill in your C100 as clearly as possible with all facts
Step 4) Keep coming back here for help and assistance

What is the cost of all this?
It's his birthday this month and Christmas next month... I want to protect him but I want him to enjoy and celebrate too and sadly I'm not a person with a lot of money behind me...

(11-07-2018, 10:12 AM)scowan Wrote:
(11-07-2018, 10:10 AM)invisibleintellectual Wrote: OK your child is in England, do a C100 - change of residency citing child protection issues, and the abuse

Step 1) Invite her to Mediation (likely to fail)
Step 2) Get the mediator to sign off 1) as a failure
Step 3) Fill in your C100 as clearly as possible with all facts
Step 4) Keep coming back here for help and assistance

What is the cost of all this?
It's his birthday this month and Christmas next month... I want to protect him but I want him to enjoy and celebrate too and sadly I'm not a person with a lot of money behind me...

How long does it take to get the order in place? Would it be seen as an emergency application to the court?
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#9
Have you been to family court before . does she have a child arrangments order?
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#10
(11-07-2018, 11:15 AM)warwickshire1 Wrote: Have you been to family court before . does she have a child arrangments order?

No, there is no court orders in place... It has always been just a mutual (mutual used loosely, as normal her way or not at all) agreement verbally or via text...
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