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Therapist to blame?
#1
my wife started seeing a private therapist in January this year as she had been Ill.

4 months later she tells me that she's not happy with our relationship anymore.

Every single argument we have, I am told how her therapist is constantly telling her how abusive I am and that she should not stand for it.
firstly, it's false information she's being fed. I would have thought that any decent therapist would know that they are only hearing 1 (biased) side of the story.

I also thought that therapist are not supposed to give personal opinions?

I can't even speak to my wife after she has had therapy that day. My wife now thinks that the sun shines out of her therapist back side and that everything thing she says is gospel.

my wife tells me some of the things her therapist has told her.. such as..

"whenever I get a letter from a clients partner I never read it, I just bin it"
WTF? This means that she has had muliple letters from partners?
does it also mean that she has done this kind of thing muliple times before!?!

so far, my wife has isolated herself from her entire family (apart from here mum) and now I'm the target.

just wondered if anyone else has heard of a rogue therapist? can they be reported?
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#2
Sounds like a rogue therapist . . Especially if so many partners feel its necessary to write to her!

From my understanding they arent supposed to give personal opinions, but even with that in mind, certain lines of questioning can be pretty persuasive.

Mine was attending counselling for as long as i'd known her. Due to our house move she had to switch to a new one. I do wonder if it had any influence on the situation. That, plus with her toxic sister living so close by does make me think . . .

Throw a little mumsnet into the situation and its game over. .
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#3
I've pondered this from time to time. My STBX switched to a new one about six months or so before our breakup. I don't necessarily think this one was telling her to leave me, but these therapists can be quite indulgent. I've had one since we split and she seems to side heavily with me on every issue and I'm being as objective as it's possible to be. It feels like I'm paying someone to tell me I'm great, and she's paying someone to tell her she's great. It doesn't seem like a situation that would lead towards compromise and an emphasis on maintaining a relationship.
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#4
I think you've put your finger right on it, Mike.
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#5
My mother had the problem that she fell in love with her therapist, the articulate, listening and intelligent person on a pedestal can be very alluring and convincing....
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#6
I would warn couples considering therapy/counselling to be very very careful in the current climate.

Seems to me most have a very feminist/anti marriage world view. They can do more harm than good.

I and my ex wife attended a Relate session once and I was shocked by the attitude. basically all she was trying to do was to identify the victim in the relationship and correct the "oppressor" viewpoint. Roughly speaking!

At the time I remember I felt something was wrong, but couldn't put my finger on it.I couldn't understand why they have such and attitude, but it all makes sense once your understand their view point of the world.

Then they try to "help" you come into terms with the inevitable and that you should move on. Best for all concerned!
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#7
DadDolent - Its funny you say that!

My wife and I are seeing a marriage councellor at the moment (have an appointment tonight actually). In our very first session she told us both that she is a feminist. She outrightly said "Look, I'm a feminist".

She actually said it! I'm pretty sure that therapists are not supposed to share any of their views
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#8
I would run a mile away from them. It is a scandal that they are allowed to do what they do if you ask me.
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#9
Saying "I'm a feminist" is like saying "I'm not a racist" or "I think everyone should have access to education"

It's not a thought crime, feminists aren't oppressors, they aren't the enemy, they don't want to lock you up and cut your nob off.

1) You have nothing to go on but what your ex has said
2) Obviously a therapist cannot speak to you about what they do or say in a session and obviously they would bin any letters. They have a 1:1 exclusive relationship with their client, nobody else.
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#10
(11-19-2018, 04:50 PM)Tamagoto Wrote: they don't want to lock you up and cut your nob off.

I've met a few that aren't far off that mark (or maybe it's just me they hate)!
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