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Ex wanting to know when I meet someone new.
#1
I have been separated from my daughter's mother for a good 18+ months. I have a small network of friends who I regularly contact on WhatsApp. Because I'm therefore occasionally 'online', my ex becomes paranoid that I've met someone new and quizzes me, saying it is her right to know. Unfortunately, my ex suffers from depression and anxiety and I do struggle to 'manage' our post-relationship time (our daughter is 21 months and I'm not yet allowed to have her staying over at mine).  

So, does she have the right to ask? If and when the times comes I do meet someone, I'm dreading it. In fact I don't dare meet anybody simply to avoid a stressful life, and I couldn't subject a new partner to my ex's issues.
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#2
Its not her right to know unless your child is at risk.
The opinions here are not that of Separated Dads, but merely a loving father who has been through the process and has come out the other side.
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#3
She has absolutely no right to know and should mind her own business. maybe she should put more time and effort in organising overnight stays for her daughter and dad. from age of 2 she will have even less grounds to refuse
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#4
(11-19-2018, 03:12 PM)Dino17 Wrote: I have been separated from my daughter's mother for a good 18+ months. I have a small network of friends who I regularly contact on WhatsApp. Because I'm therefore occasionally 'online', my ex becomes paranoid that I've met someone new and quizzes me, saying it is her right to know. Unfortunately, my ex suffers from depression and anxiety and I do struggle to 'manage' our post-relationship time (our daughter is 21 months and I'm not yet allowed to have her staying over at mine).  

So, does she have the right to ask? If and when the times comes I do meet someone, I'm dreading it. In fact I don't dare meet anybody simply to avoid a stressful life, and I couldn't subject a new partner to my ex's issues.

Until a CAO is made you are both on the same legal standing. Once one exits, you outrank her in your time.

As a person with PR, she has a right to do a sarah's law application on anyone her child comes into contact with.
Should that flag anything up, she would then need to use that as evidance to get a Prohibited Steps Order.
Posts made by me are my opinion and any factual information should be checked out. If you do not have a Solicitor, often your local CAB can get you some initial advice.
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#5
(11-19-2018, 03:12 PM)Dino17 Wrote: I have been separated from my daughter's mother for a good 18+ months. I have a small network of friends who I regularly contact on WhatsApp. Because I'm therefore occasionally 'online', my ex becomes paranoid that I've met someone new and quizzes me, saying it is her right to know. Unfortunately, my ex suffers from depression and anxiety and I do struggle to 'manage' our post-relationship time (our daughter is 21 months and I'm not yet allowed to have her staying over at mine).  

So, does she have the right to ask? If and when the times comes I do meet someone, I'm dreading it. In fact I don't dare meet anybody simply to avoid a stressful life, and I couldn't subject a new partner to my ex's issues.

Dino - I hope a simple one to solve, in the settings for WhatsApp you can turn this off so she doesn't know what you're up to. She has no right to ask. There is a thread on the benefits of total separation, one of the best ways for you both to move in is to totally separate your lives, from pick-up and drop off, to social media, to possessions. Getting the separation formally done will help, if you aren't married you cant get divorced, but you can get a separation agreement which formalises things.

Obviously if you want to spare her feelings you could be discreet about your future relationships, but she has to get over it at some point... I'm guessing you chose to leave her, which will (if so) make this difficult for you, but everyone has to move on.
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#6
Dino,

Go to email contact only, block each other on WhatsApp. I have experienced similar, it is an nice feeling knowing no more abuse will be forthcoming in the form of instant messages.

I have an email filter setup that delivers all email from ex in to a “kids” folder, so even email notifications don’t pop up on my phone from her, the only time you see them is when you go into the kids fold set to see if there is anything. Phone number remains unblocked for emergency / urgent issues.

My ex wanted to know all sorts and got very funny with me about my new partner.... and it was my ex who left me and got together with someone else pronto we’ll before I was in a new relationship.

My new relationship has put the cat amongst the pigeons, my advice would be to get contact arrangements sorted before the presence of a new partner is disclosed, to prevent the chance of irrational behaviour preventing a suitable contact outcome.
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#7
yes - I'm vaguely friendly with my ex, but she crossed the line recently by asking me to turn back on the Whattsapp notifications, why would she do this other then to see when im online, I declined.... she just wants to know how its going with GOTM...
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#8
Do NOT under any circumstances give her access to knowing when you're online or offline. It'll lead to paranoia and accusations.

I only have contact with the STBX via email and text/phone calls. That's the bare minimum I can get away with and I'd never consider letting her have any other means to contact me.
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#9
Its none of her business. Absolutely none.
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#10
Dino, I agree with everyone else it is absolutely none of her business. I had similar from my ex for a good 2 years after we split. She was constantly trying to tell me who i could be friends with and that she wanted to meet any girlfriends i got. This also stemmed from being seen as online on whatsapp.

I would put some boundaries in place with your ex and stick to them (sometimes easier said than done).

Start with a pleasant message stating that you only want to communicate via email or at the very least text message as they are a more secure form of messaging then block her on whatsapp.
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