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Can you get married ... but not be legally married?
Strange question I know, given that Im in the midst of this. 

However, I think if I met the right woman I would want to settle down and have kids.

However I wouldn't want to get married again, marriage doesn't give the man anything, and transfer power and money to the woman. I believe its no longer in the interest of any man to get married.

Given that most women seem to dream of the wedding more than marriage... can you get married, i.e have the ceremony, exchange rings etc, her even take my name... without actually getting legally married?

You might not want to get married again, which is obviously your own choice. I certainly feel in a similar situation myself and given how badly burned I was financially, I don’t know if I’d sign on the line again.

But be fair - marriage has everything to do with levelling the playing field for both involved. It has nothing to do with gender. If it generally advantages women, it’s because they are structurally disadvantaged.

Now - if you are certain you don’t want to get married - just say so. Openly. Immediately. Put it on your dating profile. 3.5 billion women out there. Not all of them want to marry you ya know!
Even when civil partnerships come in for mixed sex couples they will allow legal and financial protections. You could do some hippy style get married in a field or temple with a guru or similar and just say you are married, change name by deed-pole? But if you move in together there are certain legal and financial protections anyway. I doubt a vicar would bless a relationship unless you were already married, it goes against the churches views on marriage.

Or get a prenup?
Prenups are difficult to enforce.
Also, living together doesnt provide any legal rights to the other person, theres no such thing as commonlaw husband/wife.

If you have a child, and are named on the birth cert then you have parent responsibility the same as if you had been married. But if you separate, she literally has no right to any assets or money, other than child maintenance.

Right now, I dont ever want to be in a relationship, let alone a marriage!

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