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STBX is on war path this evening
#1
Basically STBX has agreed to buy me out of flat - 50% equity. She agreed as her solicitor advised her that she would lose a lot more if we went to court, as she earns more than me, has $hit loads more assets, has significantly bigger pension than me. However, throughout our marriage I have maintained family by paying for shopping and all utiltiies (she kept threatening to take kids away abroad if I didn't).

Anyway, this evening she received a letter that I sent her solicitor correcting an undervalued offer they put into the financial order (it was £3k less than it should have been based on agreed flat value minus outstanding mortgage).

SHE WENT NUTS IN FRONT OF THE CHILDREN!

She started screaming at me "you fucking bitch, you thief, tu veras (French threat for you will see), you want more money from me - the house is 425, and I am giving you 460, you should have been out of the house by now! Connard Va (French for asshole), pede (French slang for gay)". 

She continued to scream and shout and repeat the same insults, raising her fists at me as if she were about to punch me whilst hurling abuse at me. I told her to calm down, as this happened in front of the kids.

She has gone out now with the kids. I am apprehensive for when she returns, as when she goes into a rage, she can't control her actions. I feel so sorry for the kids, as they have to witness this rage.

I have no idea what she will do in the short-term. My heart is racing.
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#2
Easy for me to sit here & say don't worry about but, don't worry about it.

The times mine goes nuts is when she's not getting what she wants, which seems to be a pattern among all of our STBX's around here.

I'm guessing she's probably already pissed as her solicitor has sensibly advised her that she can't have her cake & eat it (that'll do it everytime) so this latest letter has fuelled her already damaged expectations.

Give her the chance to calm down while she's out, keep calm yourself & see if you can indulge her in sensible conversation when she gets back. If not, go to bed & pick it up again tomorrow.

I'm beginning to learn that slow & steady really does win the race here & remaining calm in the face of a psycho bitch queen from hell aggravates them on the spot but, generally has the desired effect of them taking it on board after getting over their strop attack.

I'm now awaiting to meet a French person I dislike to use all of the insults I've learned from your post...
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#3
She came back with more rage. She screamed, swore at me, threatened me multiple times "watch your back". I kept headphones in my ears playing music so that I wouldn't have to hear scream obscenities at me. She came up to me and ripped them out. She then put her brother in France on Skype who said in French "I am coming this weekend, you are dead" and then made a throat slitting gesture. Following from the skype call, she kept mouthing at me "watch your back you fucking bitch".

My eldest son hid under the dining table then broke out into tears.

I have called 101 to log this, but in the end I didn't give my details because my kid seeing the police would just traumatise him further. Tomorrow I will stop at the station to log this.

She has also now come to me to say that she is going back to France with the kids. I will of course contest this.

I can't believe this is happening. I'm stunned. Absolutely fucking stunned.
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#4
Sounds flippin mental PD. . . hang on in there and keep the faith

It all sounds like a pretty aggressive situation

Do you know her brother? . . He sound like either a big kid or a psychopath
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#5
God, I'm so lucky that we haven't resorted to this sort of behaviour ever in our relationship or split. Our kids have never seen this. I don't know how people can do that in front of their children.
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#6
I know her brother. I think he's bipolar like his sister that I married.

My worry now is that she'll scrap all the agreements we've come to over this horrible year just to spite me.

Worst case scenario, she will apply to take kids abroad permanently.

What a screwed up day.
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#7
Oh my word, reading your post seems like i wrote it myself, except the swear words are German. Just take it easy and calm down. What i did was I sent her (STBX)an email informing her that any interaction I have with her, that i will have my phone video recording it. Be careful mate, my STBX is now alluding to going the malicious allegation route, so im freaking out as well. Shes blackmailing me to accept her offer which is an insult. Where are you located mate? Maybe we can meet up
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#8
I can assure if it helps that he wont be coming over from france to carry out any threats. hes a angry child that makes threats he cant carry out. Also i can assure you she wont take kids abroad, only trip abroad she will be doing is a holiday to see her brother if she even bothers. so be child focused and get contact with kids and dont react to nonsense and rise to their level. If they were going to do anything they were alleging they could actually do this without informing you. reality is it is empty threats from another country. dont antagonise them through
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#9
Christ, I actually thought she'd just bugger off out for a bit & then calm down. All that in front of your son too, fruitcake ain't the word for it!
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#10
PD, don't want to belittle how horrible this must be for you, but you're winning- all this stuff is ammunition for you to absolutely take her to the cleaners. Record, record, record, get everything to the police, apply for sole care on the grounds that she's mentally unstable. You've got leverage then. And you can break her.

Her and her brother have already broken the law making death threats - which of course they're not going to carry out, it's just noise - you stay calm. Record. Troll her. Push her buttons and record the outbursts. All this will bring a court down on your side.

I'm sorry you're having to go through this, I've had similar experiences and it's miserable and terrifying, but HANG IN THERE BECAUSE YOU ARE WINNING. It just doesn't feel like it yet.

Here: https://www.cps.gov.uk/legal-guidance/co...lationship

Meantime, stay cool, keep letting her give you ammunition. Stay passive, use the system against her - and keep going until she's sectioned. Good luck, brother, stay stay strong and weather the storm.
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