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Advice needed
#91
C100 with court. Will contact solicitor asking an update on draft order. Stbx going on holidays and will be back only few weeks before court hearing.
That's the reason I don't want to put 'once house sold' I don't trust her as she may change her mind. All I know that she is desperate for money, once she will get them she will change her mind

What shall I look for a clean break.in terms of financial agreement?
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#92
Advise needed on update:
(Short history: C100 in court for 50/50 shared care for our son, + every other weekend for stepson)

Verbally was agreed on 50/50 agreement. Solicitor drafted agreement which was emailed to stbx. Via phone stbx said she won't agree.
By the time she get home she asked to remove my stepson completely, as I don't have any rights to him. ( I have asked for every other weekend, summer holidays,term,Xmas to be same as per our son. Stepson is 14yo.) And like always started to abuse me that I have never loved them,etc..

I feel bad if he will be left aside, will court seal it without him included. ( C100 is for both kids)

I know he is old enough, just feeling bad like loosing a child.
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#93
It will depend on how Cafcass view it. I see no reason at all why you shouldn't have regular time with stepson - you have looked after him since he was 4 and lived with him for many years, so he is classed as a "child of the family". Does he have a Dad who has regular contact as well? If so that could create a logistical issue re time in 3 homes, but not impossible.

Chin up. This is par for the course. She isn't likely to agree everything. She is probably flip flopping because a consent order is cheaper, but she doesn't want to commit to reasonable arrangements.
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#94
Had a normal conversation:
Stbx agrees with everything but asking to remove step son. Still don't have idea why she would do that. But she is happy to sign agreement and state that she will not obstruct in any way for me seeing my stepson or him seeing me.
Does it sound ok?
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#95
Hmmm. She says she won't obstruct anything so why won't she agree to commit to it in a consent order? Your stepson is used to spending time with your son with you as well. I can see why she may not want to commit to a rigid schedule for Stepson (does he see his actual Dad as well via a schedule?) - but if it's not in the order, she has all the control and could just refuse, make excuses and you will never be able to make plans with stepson or with both boys.

Could you suggest a compromise? Say you understand why she doesn't want Stepson to have a rigid schedule, but you think it's important he spends time with his brother with you and would like a firm commitment to be able to keep the relationship in tact, and suggest the order is amended to be more flexible re stepson. eg:

Child B (Stepson) will spend time with Father/Stepfather regularly, at the same time as Child A, dates and times to be agreed between the parties, with a minimum of fortnightly time and some time during school holidays. Mother will allow phone contact between Child B and Stepfather.

Then if it's in the order and she doesn't comply you can ask to have it varied in future to be more regular.

Alternatively you could amend the order to be just for your son and get that submitted for sealing. But continue court proceedings

If she absolutely refuses then she's got you over a barrel a bit. The offer of a 50/50 shared care consent order with your son, but only if you give up your stepson (which it could lead to and her plans will always come before yours). See how it goes.

An alternative could be to say you will agree the consent order for your son now, and have further discussions about some kind of formal agreement with her for your stepson after that. Just to get the order in the bag. But then she might say she will only sign if you withdraw your court application. You mustn't withdraw the court application until the consent order is sealed by the court. It could be that a first hearing has to go ahead, with it being recorded you've agreed this order re son by consent.

Another alternative would be get this order sealed for son, accept her offer of letting you see stepson when you want (heard that before!) and see how it goes. Then if she doesn't play ball make a further application for an order with Stepson. But that would be more time, money and hassle, and if he is 14 you may not get an order unless she agrees. She may tell him to say he doesn't want to see you and at 14 his wishes and feelings would count.

I would suggest, carefully trying to ask her to commit to stepson being in the order but it being more flexible.
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#96
Thanks..he doesn't remember him, so no .

Will propose some flexibility...does not give a valid reason why stbx doesn't want him to be on consent order.( Financial interest? )
Definitely I won't cancel court hearing..if agreement won't be sealed before hearing, I will go for both at the first hearing.
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#97
Have received an email from court that first hearing will be vacated and child arrangement will be considered on a day. Court is waiting for report from Cafcass. Cafcass phone interview is due in few days.

My impression was that hearing will be vacated and arrangements would be sealed before the date. Is it common court process/practice to wait for a Cafcass report?
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#98
Not sure why. Have you informed them you're doing a consent order? Maybe that's why they've vacated the first hearing. Yes Cafcass report always has to be available by first hearing. Their recommendations are usually followed by the court, plus it's to make sure there are no welfare issues.
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#99
As per solicitors email to court. She was asking to vacate hearing as agreement was reached between parties, and asking for a judge to consider consent order. However non of the parties need to attend a hearing.
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I should get that consent order drawn up and sent to the court for sealing asap. Cafcass checks will go ahead after any application, even if they do the phone call and report after the order! Had that before myself. Even after an urgent hearing when Judge said - no need for Cafcass, all sorted. They still did their phone calls and checks and report after the event.
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