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Advice needed
#11
One more headache.

Stbx told me she wants to convert sitting room in to her bedroom, and will put locks on the door to it. I did not agree as we don't have dining room, also it has access to the garden. She will bring bed, and if won't agree she will call police! Wtf?!


I am so confused, and thinking about getting a solicitors advise. Also need to file C100 , just don't know on what grounds.

Thanks
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#12
She can maybe convert a sitting room into a bedroom but cant see her been able to put a lock on it as it blocking you and childrens access to the garden and is totally unreasonable. She cant call the police over something like that but if you are worried just ring police yourself and have it logged and explain the situation. I would imagine they would tell your ex to seek legal advice about it
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#13
She is subletting a one room to a lady ( I did not mind it ), if she needs separate room from the child, so she can ask her to vacate it?

What's the story of me login a call with police? How does it work?
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#14
You ring the police on non emergency number and just request you want it logged. You then explain what u wrote on here that she wants to turn a sitting room into a bedroom and lock it and u cant gain access to garden. U have refused to allow this and its unreasonable and you are ringing as she has threatened u with police if u dont allow it.

I may be wrong but i am sure you arent meant to be sub letting in a shared arrangement with housing association. they got some bizarre rules. u might want to check that.
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#15
Have you had mediation yet? You want something in writing about time with the kids before separating.
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#16
Hi. I have attended initial session, stbx refused. In other post posted, that she did verbally agreed on 50/50 share, but it her mind has changed over the night, I still don't agree on her converting living room to bedroom as it will limit movement access to garden for myself and my kids. Making statement at this moment for C100 and will ask court to put order for 50/50 care.
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#17
Sounds good - get the application in for 50/50 shared care, say you have had a MIAM but your ex declined to attend mediation. That she previously agreed 50/50 shared care but now won't agree reasonable child arrangements.

I would put things in emails to her - eg you don't agree to her converting the living room into a bedroom for herself as that would limit access for you and the children to the garden. And suggest xyz instead. Or suggest that you agree Child arrangements and write up an agreement and then decide which of you will move out. If she doesn't reply to the email it doesn't matter, because your email shows you tried to sort things.
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#18
Thanks. Shall I email her about room and child arrangements before submitting C100? Once child arrangements are done, and if I will move out am I still eligible paying for mortgage? Currently working on parenting plan based on 5:5:2:2. Do I need to make it detailed..include return of passport before traveling abroad, school changes, doctors, how we contribute towards clothes, etc..? Or it can be agreed at next stage?
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#19
You shouldn't need a parenting plan until the first hearing - maybe 4 to 6 weeks after you submit the application.

I would submit the application first. Then email her about the room arrangements. But not the C100 application. Wait - I would do that verbally nearer the time of her receiving the court papers (which could be a week to 2 weeks after you submit the application). Maybe do it in as amicably as possible and say you want Child Arrangements sorted before you separate and work out who is living where.

If you do move out, and before you have an order, you will need to pay child support - you can work it out on the CMS calculator. Anything above that you can agree between you, but have it in writing - eg if it's more to cover the mortage for x period of time or something. That is going to cause fireworks if she just wants you to pay for everything and move out. Which is why it's important to get the Child Arrangements sorted.

Realistically - how could it work if either of you moved out? Could either of you afford the mortgage on your own and could you afford to rent somewhere for a while and pay child support?

If she just changes the room arrangements then I would give the room mate notice and carry on using the living room and say you will move into the spare room and she can have your old room.

I am assuming she is thinking ahead - ie having a sublet tenant might mean she can afford to run the house without you?

It's a difficult and messy situation but take one step at a time. Get your C100 in.

Is there anyone else - family on either side, who can help mediate? Do you want to move out or stay there and her move out? If you do move out with a child arrangements order (or nearly with one once the process has started) then it could take quite a long time to get the finances sorted out re the divorce. But at least she can't hold you to ransom over the finances by threatening to stop child contact.
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#20
Charlie: thank you for you advise.
I thought to re-open a mediation if she would agree. But if I am submitting C100 for court to make an order, does it make any difference? Can we still discuss via mediation, as she has rejected it in first place.

Do I need to tick 'prohibition steps' also? so she wouldn't be able to change school

Don't know the reason but she wants everything sorted by this May, she sounded very desperate. ( I guess she is having financial difficulties, her part of rent has reached 6k in debt+plus other creditors are chasing her)
She wants house to be sold to cover her debts and enjoy her lifestyle. She won't be able to afford it on her own.
I don't mind keeping the house, but all depends how much it will cost me to buy her out. The best would be for me stay in house until we will sell it, so both of us could save some money. At the same time I would see kids everyday.
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