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She won't part with ANYTHING!
#1
hi all..

I'm still living at the family home and she wants me out.  I'm refusing to leave without any fixed child arrangements and some finance agreement.

She is currently trying all sorts of different things, secretly filming me, telling people bullsh*t trying to give me a bad name and she has also threated the DA card for which she has no evidence.

We also have a touring caravan worth approx. 5k.  I got a 4k loan for it in September last year (loan is currently at £2200) and we had 1k in savings.  I suggested selling this and she point blankley refused and said she doesn't want to get rid of anything. 

What she wants:

Me to leave the house with just my personal belongings.
Her lifestyle to remain exactly the same.
Not a single item to be removed from the house.
Not a single asset to be sold.


What I want:

Fair child arrangements that suit us both.
Fair financial arrangements that suit us both
Our joint debt cleared.
Disposable assets sold to clear loan.


Is she bonkers or is what she wants likely to happen? 
I would literally leave with nothing BUT a debt for a caravan that she refuses to sell !?!?!  What the hell!?

I'm really at my wits end with this.
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#2
(01-09-2019, 02:05 PM)Chester Copperpot Wrote: hi all..

I'm still living at the family home and she wants me out.  I'm refusing to leave without any fixed child arrangements and some finance agreement.

She is currently trying all sorts of different things, secretly filming me, telling people bullsh*t trying to give me a bad name and she has also threated the DA card for which she has no evidence.

We also have a touring caravan worth approx. 5k.  I got a 4k loan for it in September last year (loan is currently at £2200) and we had 1k in savings.  I suggested selling this and she point blankley refused and said she doesn't want to get rid of anything. 

What she wants:

Me to leave the house with just my personal belongings.
Her lifestyle to remain exactly the same.
Not a single item to be removed from the house.
Not a single asset to be sold.


What I want:

Fair child arrangements that suit us both.
Fair financial arrangements that suit us both
Our joint debt cleared.
Disposable assets sold to clear loan.


Is she bonkers or is what she wants likely to happen? 
I would literally leave with nothing BUT a debt for a caravan that she refuses to sell !?!?!  What the hell!?

I'm really at my wits end with this.

Assuming you have started the divorce process, get the child arrangements and financial arrangements sorted through official channels. Get the legal ball rolling.

Start with the child arrangements, making it clear that you won't leave the house until they are fairly agreed. For finances, work collaboratively with a good solicitor to draft a Form E and request an exchange as a first step to legally agreeing a financial order, which a decree absolute is dependent on.

This will enrage your STBX, so develop a silent strategy. Keep all comms related to divorce in email/text. Don't make any small talk with STBX. Change your behaviors so that you become a boring grey rock  in the house which she will eventually tire of harassing.

YOU NEED A SMART STRATEGY! DON'T BE REACTIONARY! TIME FOR A PROACTIVE STRATEGY TO GET YOURSELF THE BEST OUTCOME!
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#3
If you got a loan in your name for a touring caravan and it is in your name then sell it. U can clear your loan off and give her 500 pounds back ..half of the 1k savings put in
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#4
(01-09-2019, 03:42 PM)warwickshire1 Wrote: If you got a loan in your name for a touring caravan and it is in your name then sell it. U can clear your loan off and give her 500 pounds back ..half of the 1k savings put in

I ageee. If the loan is in your name, as long as she has not paid anything on it, you have title, so sell it.
Posts made by me are my opinion and any factual information should be checked out. If you do not have a Solicitor, often your local CAB can get you some initial advice.
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#5
You know how similar my situation is to yours Chester, with one difference being that I'm not married to my ex so I have virtually zero understanding of the implications of divorce.

Yours is doing exactly the same as mine was in the beginning, thinking she was going to have it all her way & threatening DA if she didn't. It was around August/September time she announced that if I wasn't gone by Christmas she was going to take the boys & her to a hostel! Well it's January, I'm still there, negotiations are pretty much there now in terms of how me move forward & its a far cry from how she initially thought things would pan out.

I stood my ground, admittedly not always keeping cool & calm (but I did nothing to give her any DA ammunition against me), you need to continue to do the same. Have you had legal advice yet from a family solicitor? If not I suggest you do immediately, even if it's just an initial free consultation to give you some idea of where you stand. I did that plus a 2hr consultation (£400) following on, gave me valuable information & grounds to stand up for myself to her.

As per the last 2 replies, get that caravan sold while she can't do a thing to stop you, give her half the deposit back & use some of what's yours to get proper legal advice. You really do need that at this point & as much as it'll probably piss her right off when you do (mine wasn't a happy bunny in the slightest), you'll be advised on what to say & what not to say to her to begin to work towards getting an outcome that works for you as well.
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#6
She can want a flying unicorn - but she can't have it can she.

Don't worry about crazy demands - just say no and remind her you can either go 50/50 or go through the courts and you both end up with 20/20 with 60 going to the solicitors.
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#7
Yeah, my ex thinks that because stuff is in her name then she'll own everything and I get nothing. She's going to get a shock when I finalise finances shortly!! Ignore what your STBX says, they make it up as they go along.
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#8
(01-11-2019, 11:49 AM)Tamagoto Wrote: She can want a flying unicorn - but she can't have it can she.

Don't worry about crazy demands - just say no and remind her you can either go 50/50 or go through the courts and you both end up with 20/20 with 60 going to the solicitors.

"just say no and remind her you can either go 50/50 or go through the courts and you both end up with 20/20 with 60 going to the solicitors"

Couldn't have put it better myself, I will use the same line on my ex.
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