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Here we go again...
#1
Hi guys,

I haven't posted for a while for myself, but today seems like I need to. I'm going to break this down into bullet points so it easier to digest and prevent any confusion.

• ex wife left Feb '17. I had no contact until April '17 which was two sessions in a contact centre.
• ex cut contact via court in Apr. No further contact until Sept.
• passed drugs & alcohol testing and disproved allegations of Mental Health accusations in Nov.
• contact was restricted to contact centre under supported contact.
× court ordered that I attend my sessions alone. But I could travel with whoever I wanted to, too the centre as it is a 4 hour drive one way for me.
× no further restrictions were placed on my contact sessions, other than I cannot remove my children from facility.

Now with the above breakdown you can probably see everything started to go in my favour as of Sept where my barrister cut my ex down swiftly in court on numerous angles. Even going so far that she ignored my undertaking for the NMO and reinstated direct contact. Something my solicitor advised was fine as long as I only answered or replied but never deliberately initiated.
The ex wife soon stopped this when her solicitor/barrister found out as they claimed she was withholding information. (Yet she is still under their representation?).

So with everything going well and my bonds with my son's on the up I thought I was finally back in a good position with my children. On the 28th Dec I was in a session with them when my phone had a text from my girlfriend. My eldest son who is now 3 asked what it was and I replied it was a text from my partner. My son immediately asked to speak with her, which I refused and he became visibly upset and dismayed, after all of the emotional distress he has suffered from my ex and what she has put us through I wasn't prepared to put anymore onto him. So I called my girlfriend via video call so that my boys could say hello, thank you for their presents and wish a happy new year. The call was literally 3 minutes and 26 seconds, so extremely brief. When my ex arrived to pick my children up my eldest said he spoke to my partner and she asked me and I told her yes because my son asked. She had no problem with it then.

Now court is happening again on the 18th and on Thursday 10th I received an email from my solicitor saying that there have been problems with contact because my ex has claimed that I have allowed my children to speak with my partner who they haven't met and her solicitors are claiming that this constitutes me not "attending" my sessions alone so I am in breach of my contact order currently.

My solicitor appears perplexed by this and sees no reason why what I did is a breach and also details that despite me having disproved the allegations in court, my ex is again alleging drug & alcohol abuse? I am seeing my solicitor at 9am tomorrow to discuss everything before court.

But what annoys me is not only my ex yet again attempting to raise an allegation already disproved, as if she will uncover so sort of trump card that she knows full well she will not. She is even going so far as to have her solicitors bend the description of the English language to suit their needs. The wording in the order states I am to attend my sessions alone. Attend as defined by the dictionary states "To be present".

So having no restrictions imposed on what I do during contact with my children in the centre, I attended alone as instructed but deemed it fit that my children speak with who they requested to for the sake of their mental stability after the distress caused by their mothers action.
If I was to sit in bed and facetime my barrister while he was in court 4 hours away and have him present me to the magistrates, they would postpone the case due to me not being in attendance as I am not present, despite being on a video call. So how can my ex even believe that twisting a definition of a word to suit her stance is even legal?

Yet on the 20th Decembery ex made a deliberate show of breaching this herself by knocking on my mother's car window who was parked outside of the contact centre while I was inside, just so that my children could see their Nan and Aunt before Christmas and even allowed them the.courtesy after contact the same day in front of me. Yet she hasn't raised that she did this to her solicitor?

It all seems very much like a case of she will do whatever she wants in order to suit her motive. Which is to cease all contact permanently so I never see them and she gets a larger chunk of maintenance due to no shared care...

Ludicrous.

What is everyone else's take on this?

Thanks guys. (& Ladies)
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#2
Your ex is out to stop your contact because she doesn't like you having a partner. That is all it is. I would suggest when it goes to court the argument is made that you did not breach, but accept that a phone call during your contact sessions may not have been appropriate. However, your main concerns are that false allegations have now been made again and you feel your ex is only trying to prevent contact because she doesn't like you having a partner and does not wish the children to enjoy time with you in your home because you have a partner. Make clear that you have already been tested for drugs and alcohol and have had issues with either in your life before (if that is true).

Anyway - is the next hearing the final hearing? It'll be easier to advise knowing what hearing it is for.
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