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Long term effects of the trauma of separation & divorce - changes in yourself?
#21
This is an interesting topic. I'm a contractor, and I too am waiting for my employer of 10 years to tell me that my work is not good enough and I'm fired. I also feel guilty asking for time off to do kids things even though I don't get paid. I originally thought a lot of this was down to changes in my employer's behaviour but after reading this thread, it looks like at least some of it is down to me.
I don't trust my own judgement. Particularly when it comes to reading people.

Although initially I was leaning on my friends as much as possible, now (a year later) there doesn't seem to be a good time to talk to any of them on the phone. Netflix evenings are an important escape.

I was never great at meeting women, I honestly can't see it happening again, which is a shame because although I can be content on my own, there are other needs which are going un-met! I worry about that.

I can't read anything sad about children in the news, although I was never good at that. The tears come much easier now.

I also still feel like I'm thinking about my situation every minute of every day. This can't be the case, but it feels like it.

I live in London and I'm forced into renting. Now more than ever, I want to own my own place, for my security and for my children. I should be able to have it, but can't. I'm bitter about this!

Apart from these, things are going great!

Actually, I have thought of one positive. In my relationship I deferred to the STBX for most parenting decisions, but I am a better parent than she is. I now have a lot more confidence as a parent. My kids love the shit out of me and I them. I am happy when I am with them despite all that's happened.

I need to find some joy for when I don't have them. I expect that to be a long journey. Currently filling some of the void with GTA 5 - unbelievable the advances that have been made since I last played a game over 15 years or so ago!
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