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50/50 but not lives with?
#1
So I’m preparing to go back to court, I’m only asking for the extra Thursday night each week which will make it 50/50 as already have half holidays. If you’ve seen my last posts I’ve decided to stop contracting and hopefully secure a permmie job with the appropriate flexibility.

So I’ll obviously be asking for the current order to be varied to a lives with both. I’ll be up against the no order principle so was just wondering, does anyone else have/heard of a 50/50 order that’s not lives with both? It seems logical but I’m aware they aren’t mutually exclusive.
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#2
I would just push for the lives with shared care. I think you have good reasons to apply - you are changing your work pattern to accommodate shared care 50/50 - and you've had some issues (breaches even?). So you want the order varying to establish a workable ongoing schedule for your daughter and help prevent conflicts for her. I would ask for a District Judge based on the difficulties since the last order.

What exactly can you say that have been issues? Has she been obstructive over school drop offs and collections or parents evenings etc? Has she changed or cancelled anything? Or interpreted the holiday dates unfairly and to her own agenda - that kind of thing?

Sometimes it helps to list the issues since the last hearing and then someone else can say whether that would be considered or not.
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#3
Thanks Charlie, yeah there has been some issues. Teaching daughter I’m not allowed in school, claiming the home visit from teachers before school was a breach. Teaching child her clothes aren’t hers they’re Daddy’s or mummy’s. Playing games at Christmas. Trying to turn child against my partners child. And recently teaching her that her birthday with me is not her real party. The list goes on but other than dangerously close to parental alienation I’m not sure if the court won’t just see that as parental conflict.
She hasn’t been actively obstructive but won’t work together, I txt her but she did parents evening separately.

I know this might seem silly but the main reason I want her the extra night (past my own desire) is because I signed her up for dance class on my night but the age group is too high so she needs to go on the “extra night” I’m worried they’ll just say swap the nights now fuck off.
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#4
Ok - so one key thing and a bit of evidence to hang it on would help and the rest be more reason for backing up changes needed. Have you actually written to her to ask to change one night for a different one so daughter can go to the dance class, or asking if she will take her to the dance class? If you did, by email, and she refuses, that could be a good start. Your daughter wishes to have this activity which is not a night she is with you and your ex is refusing to discuss any changes to nights to accommodate this activity and is not willing to allow the activity on her night either. That would be a bit of evidence for later.

So maybe you would have - difficulty agreeing times for collection and drop off, especially over Christmas and these need to be defined more clearly, difficulty arranging activities your daughter wishes to attend. Claiming a breach because she did not wish my daughter's teacher to visit me, concerns at the negative language being used about me to my daughter, and disruption to my daughter's enjoyment of her time with me - in particular on my daughter's birthday. in particular my daughter has been informed I am not to go into the school at any time and she has become distressed on occasion when there was a school event on one of my days. I attended but my daughter had been told i was not allowed to be there and so was upset when I arrived and worried about the situation.

Communication is very difficult with Mrs Ex who does not respond usually or just changes things without discussion or agreement and as such the current order is not working in my daughter's best interests.

(You can give details later but that gives the picture).

Then what you think would resolve things. I feel it is important to my daughter's ongoing sense of happiness and security, to have it established that she lives with both her parents equally and that both her parents be involved in her education and extra curricular activities. In addition I wish the court to define the schedule so that my daughter knows when she will be seeing me, and does not have anxiety over such matters, and feel she should be spending an equal amount of time with both parents. This would also enable me to stay involved in her school and extra curricular activities.

Currently my daughter spends xyz time with me fortnightly and half the school holidays - but this is not actually being achieved successfully on an ongoing basis and with uncertainties.

I therefore respectfully request the court to make a Child Arrangements order that my daughter lives with both of her parents, and with her Father every Monday and Tuesday through to 9am Wednesday, and every other week-end from Friday through to 9am Monday, plus half the school holidays with specific weeks and defined times and dates. With all term time collections and dropoffs directly to and from school to allow for an easy transition between homes.

I feel this will enable my daughter to adjust to both her homes and settle into her ongoing school life successfully.
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