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Left FH today - feel like I've experienced bereavement
#1
Left FH today. My kids were crying, pushing me back in, latching doors shut, shouting for me to stay, ripping my bags away.

My heart has been ripped out. I've failed my kids, who I love with such intensity, words cannot describe.

I hope they will one day forgive me.
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#2
(01-26-2019, 06:08 PM)proud_dad Wrote: Left FH today. My kids were crying, pushing me back in, latching doors shut, shouting for me to stay, ripping my bags away.

My heart has been ripped out. I've failed my kids, who I love with such intensity, words cannot describe.

I hope they will one day forgive me.

That's a big deal for you today proud_dad….its a big deal for anyone.

I can only imagine how that felt for you and the kids...was it planned for today or did you just have enough and walk out?
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#3
Those were my words at the begining.That's tough beyond words. It will get easier, just hang in there.

Keep reminding yourself that you are still their dad and nobody can take that away from you. They will need you more than ever now.
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#4
Exactly...from what I've seen of your posts on here dan you are decent chap...hang in there kid...
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#5
That is awful mate and really feel for you.

Hopefully you will get the opportunity to show them the emotion you have shown here once the dust has settled.

You are there Dad and always will be, no one can take that away from you. They will just need reassurance that yes you have left but you will always be close.

Good luck with it all
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#6
Awful you've had to go through this mate, I remember sitting down with my two children in October and my son was sobbing asking where daddy was going to live and how he didn't want me to be on my own. It's really tough but it does get better. I'm due my first court hearing on the 25th and I'm still seeing my son at least once a week so you need to keep focused on the positives and things always work out in the end. Smile
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#7
Like many others who as Fathers have experienced this, your words strakly remind us of the utter blackness of the day only
those who have experienced it can ever understand.

They will forgive you Proud and they will love you as their Dad even more so - more than you can possibly ever imagine.

I was told that the bond I have with my Son would be far greater after separation than when we were as a family.
I really didn't get it at the time as I thought it couldn't get any closer than it was.

8 months later, the limited time I have with him means we do everything totally together, morning noon and night. The bond
between us is many times greater now and the love and trust they give back is immense and unbreakable.

Stay strong and try to believe tomorrow is going to be better for both you and your children
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#8
(01-26-2019, 06:08 PM)proud_dad Wrote: Left FH today. My kids were crying, pushing me back in, latching doors shut, shouting for me to stay, ripping my bags away.

My heart has been ripped out. I've failed my kids, who I love with such intensity, words cannot describe.

I hope they will one day forgive me.

We all dads stand with you. Like other dads said that 'one' moment of separation will lead to forever deeper bonding between you and children for the rest of life. 

My ex shut the door on me when my 1 year old twin children came cruising to find me at the door some 6 months ago. I will never forget that moment, If anything that made me even more stronger and realised how deep I and children connection was even at that young age.
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#9
I can only add my own sentiments here that it breaks my heart reading this.  But they will need you so stay as strong as you can for them.  Get through these painful few days and start looking ahead.  If it's any comfort, the constant text messages full of love and hearts that I get from my kids when they're with their mum remind me how much they need me and don't blame me.
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#10
Very tough - just tell them they will have two homes now and see you in your new home. Did you get child arrangements sorted before going?
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