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!!! Urgent advice needed please !!!
#1
hi,

Separated in November 18, still living in a jointly owned but mortgaged property with our 2 children.
She desperatly wants me to leave.  She has threatened me with false reports of domestic abuse/violence to get me out of my home.  I think she will use ANY tactics to get me forcibly removed.


To the point:

Last night I was asking her to stop telling the kids bad things about me (I have had to tell her 3 times in the last 2 weeks)  she keeps involving them in our conversations/arguments (saying things like.. Daddy said he wont give mummy any more money because he is selfish and god only knows anything else).  

I was filming her on my mobile whilst I was saying this and she lunged at me trying to get my phone off me trying to wrestle it out of my hand.    I couldn't believe it and was really shaken up.  She then ran to the kitchen saying she is going to call the police!   

She didn't call them.


I slept last night with something against my bedroom door as I was genuinely worried about what she is capable of.  This whole thing is CRAZY!

This morning I went to my local police station and got this logged - they said it was classed as common assault.   They said they could go and arrest her but I said I just wanted it logged.  They logged it and gave me a police reference number.

They also advised me to contact the "National centre for Domestic Violence: Injunctions."

I called them and they would like to serve her a Non Molestation order and an occupation order based on what happened last night (and a previous time when she hit me a few times).

I don't know what to do - I feel like It will get her to stop all the nonsense (she is constantly bad mouthing me to my children).  
Would it go against me if I serve these orders and they do not get upheld?    I'm so confused and this is all happening so fast.

The lady in the police station said  "just imagine if this had been the other way round, what would be happening to you right now?"    I think she was suggesting that if I had done what she had done, I would be getting these orders served to me.
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#2
get them served immediately. Listen to what the female officer told you" if you dont do it , non molestation order will be served on you soon when she makes up false allegations"

Dont feel sorry for her and all this needs to stop as it is affecting your child
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#3
(02-11-2019, 02:09 PM)warwickshire1 Wrote: get them served immediately. Listen to what the female officer told you" if you dont do it , non molestation order will be served on you soon when she makes up false allegations"

Dont feel sorry for her and all this needs to stop as it is affecting your child

yes couldn't agree more with above statement. If you wouldn't do it, she would that to you just a matter of time. 
I'm the example of what the police officer suggested - I got arrested, non-mol and occupational just because I was one step behind my ex. I didn't go to police even after my ex threatened to insert something.
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#4
(02-11-2019, 12:59 PM)Chester Copperpot Wrote: The lady in the police station said  "just imagine if this had been the other way round, what would be happening to you right now?"    I think she was suggesting that if I had done what she had done, I would be getting these orders served to me.

Exactly this.

See her threats of false allegations of DA\DV & raise her by serving a real order against her.
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#5
Thanks guys.

What if the Occupation order fails - will these count against me in the future? Basically, what are the downsides to serving these orders?
I'm pretty much at a point where I don't have much to lose.
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#6
As you said, you don't have much to lose. You do have a video as evidence.
My ex logged a none molestation and occupation against me and it was dismissed. It didn't have any impact on the other Hearings on custody.
I agree with the others and advise you to follow the police officer.
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#7
Use this link 
https://www.gov.uk/injunction-domestic-violence

Don't hesitate
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#8
Do it. I know it is not the kind of thing nice people do but as Warwickshire says you have to protect your kids. No "What ifs" just do it. If you do get it that solves some of the immediate problems - you get to stay in the house and she has to move out. And your kids are protected from the conflict. If you don't get it. It's evidence - for a Child Arrangements order. Not the video but the paperwork - it's a record that she was hostile towards you (the Police log).

If you decide to be the nice guy and not do something like this, that you see as hostile, that is ok if you can protect yourself. But think about it this way - you need to protect your kids from this emotional trauma and hostility.
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#9
update.

I'm in the court now waiting to be seen by a judge.
I'm scared and worried that I'm doing the right thing. I'm terrified about the impact this will have on my children.

The only thing that helps me is thinking that she would definatly be doing this to me.
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#10
Stay calm and child focussed. If you leave this issue and ignore it then your ex can very quickly get things turned against you where you don't see your kids for months.
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