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Help please
#21
she can get legal aid for mediation so isnt your problem

if i was to even consider paying for an ex partner i would expect them to be in same room to mediate not going on their own as nothing will get resolved that way
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#22
What does she mean, do mediation on her own?! That isn't exactly mediation. I would ignore that text, go for your MIAM and then the mediator can invite her - she can either go or not. She will be assessed for legal aid for mediation when she's contacted. Legal aid for mediation is not as stringent as for other things - unless she has a lot of savings.

I would take that as a positive response though. She didn't say no. She may mean shuttle mediation - ie where you;re in different rooms and the mediator goes backwards and forwards, but that doesn't achieve much usually.

But - if you can get her to agree something more reasonable at mediation you may get more contact than if you applied to court - if the mediator is good she might persuade her. So maybe just reply that there should be legal aid available for mediation. But get your MIAM done asap. It's better if you choose the mediator. If she goes for a MIAM with a different mediator now, and you are invited it may not be a mediator you would have chosen.
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#23
She means they will go separately to each other which is unlikely to resolve anything. for it to work u both need to be in same room.
My ex done this and it just means they have no intention of sorting anything and use mediator to relay messages between your ex and yourself.
certainly wouldnt pay for someone to do that, same room i would possibly as at least an end result may be achieved
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#24
She will never agree to me seeing my daughter on my own no matter how good the mediator is, total control freak, my mediation is this week. Think I will ignore the text and just do what I’m doing. She’s saying she can’t afford this but she asked for this? She wants me out of the picture and for me to just go away
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#25
Afternoon, so having been to mediation and got the form needed to apply for the c100  ex has now come to her senses. She has agreed to let me have my daughter 4 hours once week pick up and drop off, and my mum couple hours another evening.
Total turn around and beyond happy, she even drew up a document for us all to sign agreeing to new terms!
Shocked and very happy!
Hope you guys all have luck in your cases
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#26
Great news , have your daughter 4 hours a week and soon as shes 2 or just after depending when this is. You then can go back asking for overnight contact and build it up loads especially where you had your daughter weekly up until then.
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#27
Excellent - maybe her parents told her it would be better than going to court. Did she go to mediation as well or just you with your MIAM? It'd be interesting to know if the mediator talked her round.

Either that or she's been on Mumsnet and been told she'd better agree something or you'll get it court ordered anyway.
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#28
Thanks guys, no she did not attend, I think her mum talked some sense into her, she has also been to the doctors and is on medication for depression, I also think the court costs scared her! Time will tell how we go but for now its a good step in right direction
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#29
Keep careful records from now on then. If you do need to go to court at some point, you may need to be able to show how often you have seen your son and what was agreed (as they have a habit of denying it and lying). I just have a calendar and mark on it every time son is with me - to the letter. You can also add the odd note to it - had tea at Grandma's, or went to cinema, or whatever - anything that shows a life. A diary might be easier than a calendar for writing extra bits in. Also take photos when he's with you (cameras can show date of photo imprinted). I also keep an email diary - basically email yourself with the heading Diary x date. For any significant things that need recording - eg the first one could be

X Date. Phone call from ex name to say she agrees to 4 hours contact a week for son with me, unsupervised, and 2 hours a week with my Mother - son's grandmother.

X Date. Informed by ex Mother in Law that ex name is being treated for depression.

X Date - Ex name refused contact this week-end. Discussed the matter and she agreed.

X Date - son sitting up on his own for the first time.

That kind of thing. The paper diary/calendar is better just for a record of when he is with you. Signifcant things can go in an email diary. The advantage of the email diary is a) you can access it from anywhere if necessary (if it's an online account like gmail) b) The diary entries are date stamped so more authentic if ever needed as evidence, so ti doesn't loook like you just typed it the night before in Word or something.
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#30
Hi,
So things have been ok but we now have issues.
Ex has put our daughter into preschool (she is 2 in october) for 4 days a week, including the day I have her from 11-3 sometimes longer.
So now she is saying we have to have my daughter at her house afterwards because she will be tired instead of her coming to mine as she has done for months now.
I said ok lets see how it goes but she is saying no you are having her here end of! So when do my family get to see her? Also as my daughter is approaching 2 I want to start overnights which now looks unlikely, could anyone advise how to go from here?

Forgot to mention that ex also wants more money to pay for this preschool, I give £40.00 wekk plus buy things myself but she wants a hell oalot more she said
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