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How do you stay positive?
#1
Divorce has to be one of the most challenging things to go through... right?

And yet somehow we do get through it.


But I was wondering today about how to stay positive and what "Tools" I use to get me through this shitty time and what others do to keep afloat?

I suppose there are a few factors that effect that how quickly we get through these tough times such as...how long you've been with your STBX....how many kids you have...age of those kids, access to them etc...plus if you've met someone else.

Either way there are certain things we can do to ease the transition/make it easier....

What helps you?...

I'll go first...

I'm a fairly upbeat positive chap but have to admit that divorce has caught me off guard emotional-wise....I didn't think it was going to be this hard.

So ive been;

1) Exercising...a lot, I hit the gym daily ,i'm 52 but i'm in good shape.

2) I stopped eating shit and decided to lose weight...I've lost 8 kilo since the divorce started in November...that said I was a fat cnut and needed to slim down...I did not want to go into divorce as a fat middle aged divorcee that people feel sorry for.

3) I make a point of contacting friends...even old mates from back in the day.....not to neg out about about my divorce but rather its to keep contact with others and "Get out there"...even if its just a text to someone its better than nothing and I try to do it daily.

4) I've cut back on my drinking....only once a week now on a Saturday night(I'm pretty drunk now Smile)

5) I've stopped smoking weed...It makes me emotional and I haven't smoked since November, I miss it but i'm not ready to re-indulge.

6) I went to see a therapist...well more of a life coach, it cost me but has been the most valuable thing I've done....I had about 8 sessions but this dude set me straight...I simply could not see a way forward and was in a shitty place...he put things in perspective and
its worked!

7) I spend a lot of time with my son...he's 15 and to be honest doesn't want to hang around with his dad but I make sure that in this age of computers/gaming that he gets out with his mates/has them visit.

What haven't I done yet that I think will help?

1) Get laid...its been soooo long Tongue but i'm nervous about getting out there and i'm not ready.

2) Get laid...did I mention that already?

I forgot Music...Music has been great in helping me look forward.
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#2
How do I stay positive? Easy. I remember that 7 years ago I was undergoing a 6 month course of chemotherapy to fix Hodgkins Lymphoma. I could quite easily not be here. I'll take every day as a positive!

On a more daily level I find Tinder and POF to be very welcome distractions now that I'm done with my GF of nearly 10 months. 2 weeks after dumping her indecisive ass I've spent more time balls deep in other women than I care to shake a big stick at. Currently have 3 on the go and not planning on dropping any of them till one of them decides they want something more serious. I've decided it's time to enjoy being single rather than get tied down to another relationship.

I visit friends fairly regularly. Oh, and by far and away the best thing to keep you positive is to go and get laid - it does wonders for you! Oh you already said that...good luck! lol
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#3
You are on the right track mate. I do exactly same things. It was hard for me being only 6 months since separation so I went through different phase of denial, anger, barraging, depression and acceptance. I realised life is too short and I should make most of it .
I started seeing my old friends and started to go out more. I used to be fit and again hit the gym again( I have one in my house) . So I am now physically fit and I can see my abs now lol.
I also changed my wardrobe and spent a bit of money on designer clothing. I work for myself so I have more time to enjoy things I once did. Now the weather is nice so I started a few project in the garden to keep me busy.
There is also a group called meet up which I joined . They have different type of activities you can join. I only interested in Saturdays night out. So they are bunch of good people in similar situation. Trust me whenever I go out I won’t come back alone and I am 44.
So keep busy and stay positive mate.
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